Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai

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Melrose 7th January 2009 05:01 PM

I like the other translation more lol, the choice of words is more powerful. "planning on going on" etc isn't nice
And you really shouldn't place just "suck your thumb?" on the 4th line, but add "while you" in front of it. Otherwise it will look weird

Rebirthia 7th January 2009 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rody! (Post 1771488)
I dun get the last part of the lyrics.. but:

it's no use to just watch
because then it'll never become yours
if you go like that forever,
do you plan to ...bite your finger?

It's very much like Catcher in the light

i really like the lyric!

ani_C! it's the first time i see someone with a kokia sig in this forum, apart for mice, obviously...

i ooove the balance pic... you too, i suppose! ;)

Tasked 7th January 2009 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melrose (Post 1771766)
I like the other translation more lol, the choice of words is more powerful. "planning on going on" etc isn't nice
And you really shouldn't place just "suck your thumb?" on the 4th line, but add "while you" in front of it. Otherwise it will look weird


Well I never meant for it to be poetic. It's a direct translation, instead of an interpretation.. In japanese, you can interpret the text with all kinds of beautiful english constructions. But a japanese text doesn't usually say that. So better is to know what a text says straight from japanese, instead of through english

maikaru 8th January 2009 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melrose (Post 1771766)
I like the other translation more lol, the choice of words is more powerful. "planning on going on" etc isn't nice
And you really shouldn't place just "suck your thumb?" on the 4th line, but add "while you" in front of it. Otherwise it will look weird

Yeah, it doesn't say "while you"
And it actually does say "plan on doing".
つもり,tsumori, means "to plan on doing something."
That kind of thing.

It just says do this and that.
It could also be a succession of items to do~
That kind of thing.

English is so hard~ ahaha.

Evolution7/4 8th January 2009 01:36 AM

A translation should be like a good wife: beautiful but faithful

Haha sorry my german teacher always says that.

Gus-tave 8th January 2009 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maikaru (Post 1771763)
Gustave is much more indirect, and makes it sound nice for english~
I like that one.

lol thank you! Sometimes my translations are completely direct and other times, like the one that I did earlier, they can be so indirect... Whenever I translate something, I try and put the feeling that is behind the words...

日本語大変難しいなぁ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melrose (Post 1771766)
I like the other translation more lol, the choice of words is more powerful. "planning on going on" etc isn't nice
And you really shouldn't place just "suck your thumb?" on the 4th line, but add "while you" in front of it. Otherwise it will look weird

Which translation are you referencing? If it's mine, I do have "while you" included... it's just on the line before "suck your thumb."
Also, "planning on going on" really is the most appropriate translation for that part...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evolution7/4 (Post 1772011)
A translation should be like a good wife: beautiful but faithful

Haha sorry my german teacher always says that.

I agree with that for 99% of the time... sometimes because you have to be faithful to the original text, you have to translate whatever ugliness was put into the original text. But, I like the saying :)

Yum!Fruit_Salad! 8th January 2009 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evolution7/4 (Post 1772011)
A translation should be like a good wife: beautiful but faithful

Haha sorry my german teacher always says that.

I'm guessing your German class isn't boring then?

Thanks for the translation, Rody. I was only getting parts of the lyrics.

maikaru 8th January 2009 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gus-tave (Post 1772030)
lol thank you! Sometimes my translations are completely direct and other times, like the one that I did earlier, they can be so indirect... Whenever I translate something, I try and put the feeling that is behind the words...

日本語大変難しいなぁ...

あ〜日本語をしゃべるのですか?
すごい
日本語の勉強、頑張ってください☆
特に難しいですけど、
勇気出して〜最後まで頑張ってくださいわ〜

The Sparkle lyrics in Japanese are very powerful..
I feel like "wow.. so cool"
But then transfer into english, I felt "ahaha.. what is this??"
Its really hard to translate between the two languages,
Because there's also the attitude of the words, and not just the real meanings..

I always are so surprised about those people who learn Japanese well~~
It's great.

Gus-tave 8th January 2009 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maikaru (Post 1772116)
あ〜日本語をしゃべるのですか?
すごい
日本語の勉強、頑張ってください☆
特に難しいですけど、
勇気出して〜最後まで頑張ってくださいわ〜

The Sparkle lyrics in Japanese are very powerful..
I feel like "wow.. so cool"
But then transfer into english, I felt "ahaha.. what is this??"
Its really hard to translate between the two languages,
Because there's also the attitude of the words, and not just the real meanings..

I always are so surprised about those people who learn Japanese well~~
It's great.

激励の言葉ありがとう~!
実はなぁ、俺は4年勉強しているけど。もっと勉強するハズだ!(笑)
翻訳者になりたいけど...
がんばるぞ!!!!! (笑)

I am really looking forward to Sparkle... the only thing is I don't like the title (but... maybe I'll grow to like it lol)

The lyrics sound fun for this song! I love translating Ayu's lyrics!! I think that as impressive as they are when they're translated that there even more impressive in the original Japanese :)

Gkone01 8th January 2009 06:00 AM

Sparkle is #4 for the first day in Recochoku's chart

Gus-tave 8th January 2009 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gkone01 (Post 1772287)
Sparkle is #4 for the first day in Recochoku's chart

GReeeeN's song "Ayumi" is at number 1 lol!!!
I thought that was a joke when I heard they were going to name there song that... I guess not lol

I wanna hear Sparkle!!! Hopefully somebody will download it soon....
http://recochoku.jp/index.html

ayu is startin 8th January 2009 07:50 AM

i love the new song but the title - ehh... 2007 "glitter" - but the song give's me a memory when i'm heard the first time "1 LOVE"...

in the CM it's soundl like a pop song, but i think it can be better a song like "1 LOVE" ^^

Tasked 8th January 2009 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maikaru (Post 1772116)
あ〜日本語をしゃべるのですか?
すごい
日本語の勉強、頑張ってください☆
特に難しいですけど、
勇気出して〜最後まで頑張ってくださいわ〜

The Sparkle lyrics in Japanese are very powerful..
I feel like "wow.. so cool"
But then transfer into english, I felt "ahaha.. what is this??"
Its really hard to translate between the two languages,
Because there's also the attitude of the words, and not just the real meanings..

I always are so surprised about those people who learn Japanese well~~
It's great.

I really agree. Often if you read japanese lyrics, they are very nice and strong. but if you translate in english directly it'll become...boring and cliche. but in order to make it sound better in english you'll have to 'make up' words and constructions, so by then it wouldn't really be a translation anymore.

Mayumii 8th January 2009 09:54 AM

Nobody has Sparkle??? It's strange, because it's been released yesterday, and still it's not here... ;_____;
I want so much to hear it, at least 15 seconds more....

Melrose 8th January 2009 12:09 PM

@maikaru: Yea, I agree with you maikaru. The lyrics in English sound quite awful that way, if I may say. xD You should just change a few words around so that it has the same power as the Japanese lyrics.

@Gustave: I was refering to your lyrics. ^^ I know that you have "while you", but you should place it on the 4th line otherwise "suck your thumb" looks way too hilarious. xD "while you" isn't said in the 4th line (nor is it said anywhere else like maikaru says, but okie), but if you'd imagine the lyrics as subtitles it would be sooo weird to see "suck your thumb" as the only words. XD

But is maikaru's direct translation that bad, then?

"It won't begin with just watching,
It won't become your's.
Do you plan on doing that,
and sucking your thumb until then?"

Gustave's lyrics don't seem to be on such a level of accuracy that nothing can be changed, I think? ^^ As it doesn't say "while you".

"Nothing ever happens if you just look,
And you'll never gain anything either
Are you planning on going on like that forever while you
Suck your thumb?"

As much as your (Gustave's) translation would sound pretty, I think it's really unsuitable to have such relatively long and complicated sentences for a powerful down-to-the-point song/lyrics like Sparkle, don't you think?

itsu made soko de sou yatte
yubi o kuwaeteru tsumori

"Do you plan on doing that,
and sucking your thumb forever?"

Actually that isn't that bad, ha. Itsumade can also mean 'forever', right? I changed it to that, 'cause "until then" would indicate a point of time was specified before that sentence, and it wasn't, so that would be quite strange.

IMO anyways.


nagameru dake ja hajiman nai
kimi no mono ni wa nara nai

"It won't begin with just watching,
It won't become your's."

What's bad about that? I quite like it. Though the second sentence could be seen as random, without some word indicating that it's related to the first sentence.

"Nothing ever happens by just watching.
And it won't become yours."

Gustave's translation is fine that part, too, but to make it more powerful you have to change it into:

"Nothing ever happens by just looking,
And you'll never gain anything either"

Though, still, I think the word "either" rather removes the tempo from the lyrics, so I'd change it into:

"Nothing ever happens by just looking,
It won't become yours."

So:

"Nothing ever happens by just looking,
It won't become yours.
Do you plan on doing that,
and sucking your thumb forever?"


But assuming that what translation I prefer will be disliked by everyone else, I suppose that the original translation with just a changed word would be best?

"Nothing ever happens by just looking,
And it won't become yours.
Do you plan on doing that,
and sucking your thumb forever?"


Anyone like that better? Probably not. xD No one ever agrees with me on lyrics, but okey~.

@Rody: I wasn't talking to you....-_-;

maikaru 8th January 2009 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melrose (Post 1772582)
itsu made soko de sou yatte
yubi o kuwaeteru tsumori

"Do you plan on doing that,
and sucking your thumb forever?"

Actually that isn't that bad, ha. Itsumade can also mean 'forever', right? I changed it to that, 'cause "until then" would indicate a point of time was specified before that sentence, and it wasn't, so that would be quite strange.

itsumademo means no matter when, forever, etc.~
itsumade means "until when"

So the sentences are really saying in the basic version,
'Until when, over there, do you plan on doing that and sucking your thumb?"

But in english, the over there part sounds really silly and I couldnt find a better way to say it. ahaha.

And I made a mistake to put until then. I meant to put until when.
I'm sorry. m(_ _)m

waterballoon 8th January 2009 12:33 PM

Ha I just got increased respect for you translators! Hmm is the Sparkle available for download a preview clip?

tinka69 8th January 2009 01:29 PM

OMG. It sounds realllyyyyyy cool! UGH. Why did i have to go and get all excited now?! I bet it won't come out for ages and i'll be all GAAAAHHH KILL MYSELF with anticipation. Damn it.

Deibel 8th January 2009 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gus-tave (Post 1772392)
GReeeeN's song "Ayumi" is at number 1 lol!!!
I thought that was a joke when I heard they were going to name there song that... I guess not lol

I wanna hear Sparkle!!! Hopefully somebody will download it soon....
http://recochoku.jp/index.html

Are you sure that this GReeeeN is the ayu's GREEN?
I'm not sure :yconfused

But if this were ayu's GREEN.. congratulations to her! ^^

(Sorry for my bad bad english! :dead2)

waterballoon 8th January 2009 03:54 PM

No the #1 spot is a song called 'Ayumi' by this boy band called 'GReeeN'! They took revenge by naming that single that when they learned that Ayu named her single 'GREEN'.







Just kidding. XD


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