I'm pretty sure she refers to herself as sort of two people. There's, Ayumi Hamasaki, The Product, what the fans see, and the image she projects of herself, and then there is private ayu, her true self, how she is with her closest friends and loved ones as a normal person. If I remember correctly from an interview. She also has talked about feeling like nothing but a product for avex in the past, and has brought it up a couple of times. You can also see that in some of her PV's. A BEST was one of her first big stances. She wasn't at the point were she could of stopped it, but she did not want it to happen, to which the cover is her protest

ummmm some of them diamonds!