Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai - [Translation] Latest TA post [19th May 2017]

Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai (http://www.ahsforum.com/forum/index.php)

- Ayu Celebrity News (http://www.ahsforum.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=92)

- - [Translation] Latest TA post [19th May 2017] - Health and ear condition (http://www.ahsforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=123632)

After reading that I don't admire her or pity her at all.

She's being stubborn and destroying her body for nothing.

She's a multi-millionaire with a dedicated fanbase. She has no need to make big concerts or big tours one after another.

She could take a whole year off (or more) to rest and recover and no one would blame her and her fans would wait for her.

At the very least she should do concerts where she stays still. No dancing/jumping/running.

Sorry if this offends anyone, but Ayu is just being stupid. This isn't even her actual 20th anniversary. Her tour isn't that outstanding. She has no need to push herself this hard this year. It was stupid to book a 60-date tour with such health problems.

^Not every health issue can be solved with some rest and we have no idea of that would actually help her....

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamalley (Post 3241021)

I totally agree with this. Obviously we don't know the details regarding her health issues, but a 60 date tour just seems so negligent towards her own wellbeing. She is not invincible. :no

there's official message in English!

I don't know if it's ok to post it here :(

I think it's normal to be angry and think it's a stupid decision, everyone is shocked. Rest won't make her ear get better though, probably just delay the inevitable from what she's written here. It's truly awful.

I'm just sad, shocked... I've thought about her going fully deaf before and how awful it would be (I doubt I'm the only one) and now we know it's going to happen, and sooner than we think. It's devastating, on a personal selfish level and knowing that Ayu is going through it and still pushing on.

As I already said... I'm devasted... I already spoke out my thoughts in another thread but again, the day Ayu will announce that she's entirely deaf will be one of the worst days in my life... This woman helped me so much through the last years and she still does... I can't imagine a life without Ayu making new music... I also wonder what Ayu would do... I only hope that she won't die... That's no joke! I mean, she's so dedicated to her music... What if she gets depressions, wants to die etc.... Of course I'm praying for the best and I of course want her to live but I just worry about her... Right now, it feels like a piece of my heart broke out...
And to the knee, it's a wonder she managed all these tours and the aerial stunts but now I can totally see why she doesn't do aerial acrobatic during this year's tour...

Besides that, I think it'd be okay to post it YUKARI! It's very important imo and an official translation is always good to have I guess...

Quote:

Originally Posted by YUKARI (Post 3241027)

there's official message in English!

I don't know if it's ok to post it here :(

please, everyone needs to know this

With the new English update, I now no longer have access to her Japanese entries up to a certain date from November until now. Odd.

Here is the 'official' English entry:

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Dear TA(^_－)－☆

I'd like to talk about some things Tsuriko mentioned in her report on the tour website. She had to choose her words carefully as it's a public site, but here I can be more direct.

At the end of last year, my kneecap finally gave out after 6 years of problems. I decided to have it operated on as soon as the Countdown Live concerts were over, then undergo rehabilitation during the time off, and return to the stage later in the year without making things public until later on. I've always preferred to keep things like this to myself, and this was no exception. Hospital appointments were made, and a date set for the operation. I saw the New Year in happily, and the operation took place without incident.

Foolishly, I allowed myself to relax at that point.

I don't want to go into too much detail about the last few months, but suffice it to say that I'm still learning to live with my knee, day in day out. In all honestly I should probably stop performing on stage as I do, but that isn't something I am prepared to contemplate.

Just before this year's tour began I received a second blow - my hearing started to deteriorate further. My semicircular canals had blown, and I was experiencing crippling dizziness. I wasn't able to walk in a straight line, and was often reduced to vomiting in the restroom at the rehearsal studio. I tried to put a brace face on things, but was told after various hearing tests that my right ear (which had been working overtime to compensate for my deaf left ear) was weakening fast. I don't have a clear memory of my journey home after that. I just remember wondering how I, as a singer, would cope with two useless ears. Other than that, I was in darkness.

I've written a lot, but let me finish with this.

A certain somebody sent me a message on LINE at Yokohama Arena. It read as follows:

"You're the real deal, so pull yourself together! It makes us mad because we care about you. We all - every last one of us - want to be a part of your show!"

It was a slap in the face, but it brought me to my senses. Not out of any sense of responsibility or duty; but on a much deeper level, I managed to find myself. That night, I found my way back to being Ayumi Hamasaki.

The stage is where I belong. It's the only place I really, truly exist. I don't know anything else. There's no point in worrying about what lies ahead. I will keep listening, even if I can't hear. I will keep moving, evening if I can't move. I'm not looking for sympathy or pity. I will hold my head high and keep going forward until my last breath.

Next is Yoyogi! I'm looking forward to seeing your smiles

ayu

I'm not sure what will happen at the end of this road for "Just the beginning" but I'm afraid of whatever it will be. I'm worried about her but I know that Ayu being Ayu, she will continue to go on as she always has.

Thank you for sharing the message in English.

Well... now it's really hard not to cry.

thank you for posting it here, truehappiness!!

Thank you for sharing truehappiness.

This is devastating, I just cannot accept it right now.

Thank you :( Im so sad that how many times I read this Im crying :( :(

Of course rest alone wouldn't cure her. But at least her body would recover to a certain point and it's better than to keep ruining it with tours. Besides, she could (and should) visit several doctors and treat herself.

At this point she has 2 choices for the rest of her career: either a long slow burning flame or a short flashy firework.
She can choose to keep pushing herself like crazy and become completely deaf in like 2 years (and maybe even stop walking). Or she can choose to cut back on the concerts, rest more, work less, and her body can last another 10 years.

Her fans have been waiting for her to find a new direction in her career, to reinvent herself, to show something new. But she's been running blindly straight ahead doing the same old thing (with rare exceptions here and there). If she keeps doing it, she'll just fade away without fanfare and only be remembered for her past glory.

^We don't know how many time she got either, neither if she keeps going or if she slows down. It would be nice to not call her stupid or whatever if you, as everyone else here, have no idea of what's really going on.

Quote:

Her fans have been waiting for her to find a new direction in her career, to reinvent herself, to show something new. But she's been running blindly straight ahead doing the same old thing (with rare exceptions here and there). If she keeps doing it, she'll just fade away without fanfare and only be remembered for her past glory.

She addressed a lot of this in a recent interview.

I hate to think that this finally happened to her >.<

For her knee do we know what had caused the injury? She said 6 years but she had the problem since 2007 and I remember it well seeing her bandane knee in the documentary.

I cried reading this.

What's weird is just two days ago I watched that sit down interview she did during Secret, where they ask her if she wasn't a singer, what would she be doing... and she pretty much says she can't possibly conceive anything else "I die. Music is my life. My life is music." And I was brought back to her ear failure and how depressing that must have been for her. And now I see this. I can't imagine any worse fate than this. Your aboslute passion; your life's mission; your calling... just dissipating - slipping through the cracks of your fingers, and there's nothing you can do about it.

I think she knows, there will be a time when the sand runs out... and she wants to make sure that the time leading up to that inevitability is not spent being cautionary - if she loses either way, she will lose knowing she gave it her all until she physically could not do it anymore. Like "if this runs down my body, so be it - if I don't have music, what do I need this body of mine for anyway?"

She had bandage on her knee at AT2010
http://i.imgur.com/drx9H4Dm.png

and at a-nation 2011
http://i.imgur.com/pYizkILm.jpg

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeke. (Post 3241043)

I cried reading this.

What's weird is just two days ago I watched that sit down interview she did during Secret, where they ask her if she wasn't a singer, what would she be doing... and she pretty much says she can't possibly conceive anything else "I die. Music is my life. My life is music." And I was brought back to her ear failure and how depressing that must have been for her. And now I see this. I can't imagine any worse fate than this. Your aboslute passion; your life's mission; your calling... just dissipating - slipping through the cracks of your fingers, and there's nothing you can do about it.

I think she knows, there will be a time when the sand runs out... and she wants to make sure that the time leading up to that inevitability is not spent being cautionary - if she loses either way, she will lose knowing she gave it her all until she physically could not do it anymore. Like "if this runs down my body, so be it - if I don't have music, what do I need this body of mine for anyway?"

:weep :weep :weep :no :no :no

and I cant imagine my life without Ayu and her music anymore. :(

thanx Aderianu. I still remember clearly the pic she posted during a-nation 09 after she had liquid sucked out of her knee and as usual saying it didnt hurt much and that shes doing ok

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi (Post 3241040)

Agree 100%. In all honesty, I find it really insensitive to call her stupid and aggressively criticize her for any choices she makes, maybe even selfish, especially after reading how she talks about performing and music.

Quote:

In all honestly I should probably stop performing on stage as I do, but that isn't something I am prepared to contemplate.

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The stage is where I belong. It's the only place I really, truly exist. I don't know anything else.

And on top of all that say you don't admire or feel sad for her at all? And imply that she's only performing for the money? Why do you treat her and talk about her like she's a lifeless robot?

For some reason I don't feel a thing, I guess I'm just numb and I don't completely realize what I just read. Honestly imagining my life without (active) Ayu sounds so unreal and impossible. But god, I want her to get better. I admire and respect her so, so much.