Originally Posted by orbitalaspect
(Post 3241472)
I know most of our speculation is just assumption. However, with hearing loss, it's extremely rare for it to slow or stop, and damn near unheard of (no pun intended) for hearing to improve over time. It's entirely possible Ayu could recover her hearing through an implant, but she would still not be able to sing.
The more I think about this, the more I worry that Ayu would, at some point in the far future, end up ending her own life over her hearing loss. She hasn't had an easy life. She's had an even harder career. The only comparable person of Ayu's level of fame is Namie, but even her troubles are way, way behind her. I mean, Ayu has struggled so much with family, her struggle with being seen as a brand and not as a person, and with loss and grief. She's never had the personal space to come to terms with close friends who've passed, her dogs passing, her grandmother passing at the start of her career... She's just buried all of it and been there for us, month after month, year after year.
This puts so much into perspective. I remember crying when MADE IN JAPAN was released because I realized it wasn't the music, it was Ayu. And now we know it isn't from any lack of effort by Ayu. It's because she's been chipping away at her physical and mental health so all of us could keep the experience alive, waaaay past its natural shelf life, for 20 years. There's no reason Ayu should be the biggest selling solo artist in Japanese history, except that all of us shared her music and her meaning with other people, over and over, and that she kept on singing when there were still some of us who weren't ready for Hamasaki Ayumi to close.
It's been 7 years since my best friend last saw an Ayu release. And his first album was (miss)understood. My first Ayu album was Secret. And I still want to know what her next ballad/rock/dance song sounds like. I still want to know what the next tour logo looks like. And I still talk about her like she's got a new single coming out any month now.
I've fallen in love with a lot of other Japanese, Korean, and Mandopop artists for various reasons. But the end of Hamasaki Ayumi is the end of the very first chapter I ever opened in my experience of foreign music. And I can't help but look at the woman behind the music I've known for 11 years and wonder if she even knows who she is or remembers much of who she was before 1998. So, I'm worried. I'm really worried. Because Hamasaki Ayumi deciding to tour or stop touring, to make music or stop making music, isn't the decision for which I need assurance. I feel like I need to know if I will be playing Last angel in 10 years, mourning over a life that ended with a career, or if Hamasaki Ayumi can walk away from this with a sense of purpose driving her forward.
Shit, even if she came out on TA and said that she'll spend the rest of her life standing at busy intersections in Tokyo with signs reminding people to do an annual hearing test, I'd feel like we're not looking at a much bigger tragedy in the making. But this is Ayumi. And we all know what Ayu would do, but we don't know Hamasaki Ayumi well enough to know what she'll do.
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