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-   -   [TRANSLATION] Cawaii December 2007 "Talkin' to myself" (http://www.ahsforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69942)

isaac hiew 20th February 2008 05:22 AM

[TRANSLATION] Cawaii December 2007 "Talkin' to myself"
 
Side Face Story Ayumi Hamasaki

~It's was the side face of AYU, and now it's talkin' 2 myself~

The 42nd single of Ayumi Hamasaki "talkin' 2 myself"... That's right! It is such a great song!
A must-listen single for those who haven't listened to it before! That would be like an command. (Laughs)

(It will be the end for everything if you deny the reality All of us should move onto our own chosen path)

With a thought like the phrase above, we produced the cover of this magazine after several discussion and comparisons. How do you guys think about our cover?

But... is it alright by using the song's title as the headlines of this article....?

It might sound rude but Cawaii! decided to fight along with Ayu "in this era"!

Sorry, we 'ayumized' ourselves without approval.

Those so called noble characters always give up so easily, even our Prime Minister too. (Note 1)

Everyone just think for themselves.

If temperature gets higher and higher like this, then how should Earth become...

Not knowing what will happen at when... this is the present situation.

Seems living on with will is the most important thing... yes.

I believe everyone already knows that.

Talkin' 2 myself


(Note 1: Refering to the quick-quitting Japanese Prime Ministers, it refers to Shinzo Abe who apparently abandoned his position after just 365 days)



---"Talkin' 2 myself" is such a strong song. Although we had strong songs featuring ROCK-AYU-like "Duty" before, but this time we felt a bit different than last time. How did this song came out?

Because I have something to write about, and so I went to look for a suitable tune that fts into the lyrics, and it was swiftly done. This song was produced before "Glitter/Fated". About my own style and way of living, I always had an awareness of "I just wanted to live like this". Then questions like "How do I feel about such a living style? How does it look like in reality? How about things looking at now?" causing me to write "talkin' 2 myself".[/I]

---We do have songs that portray feelings of "awareness/realization" or "determination/decision" So the reason to touch these issues again were because...?


Yeah, I used to have encountered situations like "Realization of things/resting my luck upon something, the always- repetitive selects and discards". Things were the same during the making of "Duty". I have made a big decision in my heart but everything starts happenning with a different core of cause. So this time (talkin 2 myself) it's about different meaning , perhaps I have realized some other issues then.

---About the phrase "That's how I lived" in the lyrics, Are there any specific examples of describing it?


For myself, I have never changed my decisions about how should I continue my path in the future. But in the past, I was like "I can only go on like this and this and so just leave me alone". However now I would like people who understand me, who love me, who were beside me can know me. And that includes my fans and my friends.

---Does that refer to this person named"Ayumi Hamasaki" or the real "AYU"?

Both.

--- Are there any overlaps between "Ayumi Hamasaki" and "AYU"?

About this... I think so. Last time I thought it would be scary if it's different (note 2)--- That means it's terrifying if "Ayumi Hamasaki" equals my own, true self. Everybody knows that Ayumi Hamasaki = AYU and I disliked that. I would deliberately try to distinguish both of these identities.

(Note: The original text probably was an error. Ayumi Hamasaki seems to be contradicting herself. It is supposed to mean "Last time I thought it would be scary if it's the same")

But now... although the tendency to play hero doesn't change, but it's not entirely last time where I can only capable of making sounds, I have become more honest now. When I able to selttle down and take opinions I would feel like "So in the end we're still the same person". Therefore I somehow accepted the idea of: I can still have an AYU mindset when I was playing as Ayumi Hamasaki while understanding that I still need to be Ayumi Hamasaki when I am playing as AYU.

Although I'm not very sure of how other may think, But just like what the chorus sang, "Even if you view it as it was full of sorrow, I do not agree however, that's not acting strong." It's just right as how I am now, I made these decisions because I like it, and it's just how it is.

---I see. Nevertheless, Whether successful or not, happy or not, it's all because of one's choices in the first place.

Indeed. What matters most is the choice-maker's feelings at the time. So what even if everyone thought "This person is such a poor thing", Isn't it just alright if that person feels okay about it?

---For AYU, how do you view "happiness" or "things that one should get?"

About this... I guess the very first thing is to own your true self, and that includes achieving the point of not lying to others; the first step should be not lying to yourself. I Believe that anybody would be scared upon the idea of facing themselves and their surroundings honestly, and then feel that they can't do it. Me too, can't always speak and act freely, but I would think "So what?" "I didn't lie at least" . Luckily I'm not working in the corporate world, otherwise it would be impossible for me to get promoted (Laughs).

---Ahaha, such rightous behavior shall cause you change a few jobs, eh? There's this phrase in "talkin' to myself" that says "Before construction there's destruction" that AYU has been stressing about.

Ahaha, That's because I am a vandal.

---A vandal, huh? Seems like your medal of honor.

Actually destruction is a very scary thing. That's why we tend to protect everything as we could. I do sometimes thinking of being a good girl. But in the end I still have to go destroying things. That's not for anyone but because I was bored. However I do not destroy vaguely... I destroy for the sake of creating new things... bacause if I don't then there will be no innovation and creation in my works.

--You used to write stuffs only about your thoughts, what's the difference between now and the past?

I used to be very mindful about what should Ayumi Hamasaki do in certain kind of issues. So sometimes I had such an internal battle inside me that I can't find a suitable spot for myself. But then I enjoyed a certain degree of freedom when composing this song. When I complained to my friends that "I don't feel free at all." They all straight-forwardly answered, "Doesn't AYU very good at singing? Isn't it easy to get your freedom by making new songs?" Then I realized, "Yeah, I can find it in my new songs!" and coincidentally during the composing times I do feel "It's really free!" Maybe it has always been like that but I always forgotten about the sensation until other people remind me of that.

---By the way, You once said that sometimes the songs from "Duty" will be too painful to hear, so how about now?


Recently I discovered that downloading song can be so much fun. Althought I have bought a lot of music before, but it is my very first time buying my own CD. My house used to lack CDs performed by me and I would never listen to my songs inside my house. Then one random day I suddenly feel and urge of listening to my songs and I tried hard to download it. After that I thought, "Ohhhh, I sang about these kind of things before..."

---May I know it was which song?

From old songs to new releases. But there are some songs which was made during the "Duty" and "Memorial Address" era; those songs which were released when I was super busy. When I finally listened to it, I have a wierd feeling that it was not my song, but somebody else's.

--Any special feelings?

A lot~~~ (laughs). I would feel like the performer was like a tidal wave! But sometimes I can't hear the lyrics very well, and I just can't memorize it even when I tried to keep up with the CD, so I ended up searching for the lyrics of my own song on the internet (giggles)

--Why would you start to do things like that?


I think it's because I wanted to get serious again. I would not be afraid to inspect myself from outside to inside. I find that interesting, too.

--And that means "Luckily I didn't avoid the problem" sort of thing?



Yeah. Maybe I went fumbling around a bit. Thank goodness I didn't become a quitter and run away.

--So it has been reflected on the lyrics of this song, so it was meant for the readers of Cawaii! that "you should not avoid your problems and should go for it?"

Perhaps it is the best option for some people to running away from problems. For me personally, I would not turn away even there's this cannon that fires a shell at me from the point-blank range. I would rather observe how the shell would come and hit me. It's of course easier to fear for it and dodge the incoming projectile but it would be impossible to know who's shooting by dodging it. I don't like that. I want to know his intention. If I don't do that then I would not have been understand how I get hit upon, and how to heal myself up then.

--The very AYU style... casting a bet using construction and destruction.


As a vandal, I frequently cause my daily life being topsy-turvy. In return I am very sure about what really makes me feel good or comfortable, and I decide everything myself. The same goes to fashion; I don't simply reject red colored clothes just because I feel red color doesn't suit me. As long as I keep myself open-minded, I will understand "sometimes certain shades of red color really are suitable for me". This is also a kind of destruction/vandalism --- a device for opening of new means. Hence, the opening of new means = destruction/vandalism will causing me to fell down and stmble around all day long. It's just like when you suddenly open a tunnel, the wind blows at you and don't you feel it's some kind of a relax sensation in it?

--So this time AYU openned another wind tunnel that blows wind of relaxation?

Yup that's right! sometimes I get swipe away by huge rainstorms too (laughs) But that's the way it is, I wanted to tell the readers of Cawaii! that sometimes in your life, you will encounter things like this. Maybe everyone here will say "AYU really doesn't look good in red!!" Then I will just make an apology from here, okay? (Giggles) But then "Living is a knowledge itself".



Translated By Isaac Hiew
20/Feb/2008

This article should only be used inside AHS Forum only. If you would like to use this piece of article on anywhere else, kindly email or PM me to get the permission and give me credit, thank you.

Comments/Suggestions? email me at isaaxhiew@hotmail.com

Originally translated from Cawaii! December 2007 . International Taiwanese Edition.

WillofDusk 20th February 2008 05:27 AM

That's a really interesting article.
I think I like the songs more
Too bad it didnt sell that well :(

syntherella 20th February 2008 05:39 AM

Thank you very much for sharing! Wonderful insight. It reinforces my idea of Ayu having holes in her defences, but being strong nonetheless. I admire her self-satisfying approach to life.

~Amy~ 20th February 2008 05:52 AM

Thank you! The article was very interesting. ^_^

PoetGirl 20th February 2008 05:52 AM

thank u so much for posting, i find her more and more interesting,honest and lovely every time i hear her speaking, and .. i love talkin to myself even more now.

Northerner 20th February 2008 05:56 AM

Recently I discovered that downloading song can be so much fun. Although I have bought a lot of music before, but it is my very first time buying my own CD. My house used to lack CDs performed by me and I would never listen to my songs inside my house. Then one random day I suddenly feel and urge of listening to my songs and I tried hard to download it. After that I thought, "Ohhhh, I sang about these kind of things before..."

That's pretty much the best thing ever. That and the line about looking up her own lyrics because she forgot them. :P

Love Appears 20th February 2008 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Northerner (Post 1342557)
Recently I discovered that downloading song can be so much fun. Although I have bought a lot of music before, but it is my very first time buying my own CD. My house used to lack CDs performed by me and I would never listen to my songs inside my house. Then one random day I suddenly feel and urge of listening to my songs and I tried hard to download it. After that I thought, "Ohhhh, I sang about these kind of things before..."

That's pretty much the best thing ever. That and the line about looking up her own lyrics because she forgot them. :P

This was so cool. Now we know Ayu has something in common with her fans... something we wouldn't exactly expect, haha. How very down-to-earth of her.

And the part about talkin' 2 myself being produced before glitter/fated... I didn't know that!

Thanks for this translation issac hiew! :D

Angel_Hikaru 20th February 2008 06:11 AM

Indeed, really interesting, she has a really insightful way of looking at life =)

zoomzoom 20th February 2008 06:18 AM

Thanks for the translation, very cool. But wasn't this issue from November?

Pretty funny how she went and downloaded her own songs :P And looked her lyrics up online.

LacusClyne 20th February 2008 06:28 AM

^issac translate it from the december taiwan issue

arisu_1love 20th February 2008 06:29 AM

Thank you for this article translation!

KuroixShiroi_Namida 20th February 2008 06:45 AM

Thanks for the translations XD!

Cyria 20th February 2008 06:47 AM

Thank you so much for the translation!

I, too, think that part about Ayu starting to listen to her own songs is adorable.

mylovelyayumi 20th February 2008 07:01 AM

Thanks for the translation isaac..:)

isaac hiew 20th February 2008 07:04 AM

Sorry for being so late guys~ T_T

I got the book on the first day of February, but I was bogged down by work.... so finally today was my day off, and I managed to translate them all.

The translation looks crappy to me tho.... because sometimes I just figure out to use what kind of words.... ayu definately speaks deep... O_O;

Kinokuniya no longer sell these magazines so I can't get them first hand. However if I see any ayumi articles I will try my best to translate them and put them up here.

BoBo 20th February 2008 07:31 AM

10x for the arcticle rly intresting :)

tenshi no hane 20th February 2008 07:39 AM

thanks for translating ^^ it's interesting to read how Ayu views things

ayuzlove 20th February 2008 08:11 AM

thanks alot for the translation..now we get to know ayu even more! :)

kiseki89 20th February 2008 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by isaac hiew (Post 1342612)
Sorry for being so late guys~ T_T

I got the book on the first day of February, but I was bogged down by work.... so finally today was my day off, and I managed to translate them all.

The translation looks crappy to me tho.... because sometimes I just figure out to use what kind of words.... ayu definately speaks deep... O_O;

Kinokuniya no longer sell these magazines so I can't get them first hand. However if I see any ayumi articles I will try my best to translate them and put them up here.

You know I got the chinese issue of Cawaii from some train station in malaysia...
Though i read chinese it's still a torture to read it.. so thanks for translating

leo_nardez 20th February 2008 08:27 AM

wow, really appreciate the translation, it must have taken alot of works..

thanks a lot..

baka-ranger 20th February 2008 08:52 AM

hehe ayu listening to her own songs, if I were here I'd be thinking..geez what a great singer =P..but she's not that stuck up hehe SHE'S A VANDAL =O tsk tsk ayu

thanks a lot for your hard work, really appreciate it!!!!!^___^ I wouldn't have had the patience =D

Zemus 20th February 2008 09:00 AM

Appreciate your translation works. Really interesting article there I must say :)
Thanks man!

jon_the_d 20th February 2008 09:39 AM

yeah thanks a lot!

have you done more of previous articles?

Minttulatte 20th February 2008 10:34 AM

Uih, that was nice to read. Now I'm surely understanding the meaning of the song better and for that, I'm gonna love it more and more. And I haven't heard this song for days, argh. ._. But anyways, I liked the article, and I laughed a bit when Ayu said she has to go search for her lyrics from the internet if she can't memorize the song from CD. :3 I can get a clear image of Ayu searching for Trauma's lyrics (she somehow happens to forget those every time I've heard her performing it. :3). But really, I enjoyed the artictle. <3

alternarist 20th February 2008 11:15 AM

thanks for the translation!! :)

freedreamer 20th February 2008 11:43 AM

AYU IS SOO COOL HHAHA

se7entheaven 20th February 2008 11:53 AM

I've always liked the way ayu speaks..I really think she's a smart woman

TITANIC 20th February 2008 12:05 PM

waww..interesting article..
thanks for the translation :D

Ninix33 20th February 2008 01:07 PM

dang. That was a good interview.
Thanks for translating it!
Shes so thoughtful about her work and self. I find that admirable.

sibby 20th February 2008 01:27 PM

i just loved the cover for that interview. (cause it was really half of ayu's face :) )

side face story! :D

Teyla 20th February 2008 02:11 PM

thanks

Xocoley25oX 20th February 2008 02:21 PM

Thanks For The Translation!!!! I Love It How She Says She Looked Up Her Own Lyrics On The Internet :D !! I Wonder If She Came Across This Website Or Another Ayu Website While Searching? :P

KarenPang 20th February 2008 02:27 PM

thanks for that , it was an interesting read .

isaac hiew 20th February 2008 03:15 PM

I find it quite interesting myself when she declared that she is a vandal/destroyer. Nope, she doesn't whack things in public around, but she meant that in music.

As fans we all know that Ayumi is a constant-evolving singer. She tries everything. From ballads, then to eurobeat/techno, then to rock, R&B (not very successful), and finally the wierd music we got in Real Me.

And now she's into Rock! Yeah!

Ok, what she meant was, in order to create new "music", she will keep on smashing off old composing rules and such or discarding her old mode of writing lyrics. She will write things about some other issues, not only with love or girly stuffs, probably philosophical, human weaknesses, or something to do with society.

And she wants us to know what she is thinking about! That's basically my idea of translating her interviews; to let even more people know what she has been thinking!

I love you ayu. Forever I will.

And thank you all for reading. I hope you guys can learning something about ayu today. Ayumism anyone?

Beauty4123 20th February 2008 03:25 PM

thanks for the article. :D

Neo Daydream 20th February 2008 03:50 PM

cool ^^ thanks!

Bad Wolf 20th February 2008 07:45 PM

omg it's so adorable, she downloaded her own music and had to look up her lyrics XD

thank you so much for sharing this!

Melting_Holidays 21st February 2008 12:34 AM

Thank you!

I LOL'ed at the last part about the red dress. hahaha

jonneh 21st February 2008 03:29 AM

I didn't understand some of it because the translation didn't make a lot of sense here and there, but I just wanted to thank you deeply for translating it as much as you did! :)

edit: (this sounds *****ier than I wanted, sorry about that. I am very grateful!)

Peger 21st February 2008 03:54 AM

I know just what she means...I feel you girl, I feel you.

AmyRoseM 21st February 2008 04:27 AM

Thank you thank you thank you! I LOVE translations!! :)

What an amazing woman she is! <3

octocoffee 21st February 2008 04:39 AM

Thank you so much for the translation! This was a really insightful article. It shows just how thoughtful Ayu is, plus how adorable she is! It's so amazing to imagine her looking up the lyrics to her own songs ^_^

Ani_C 21st February 2008 05:02 AM

Man, I really need to meet her in person one day xD!

yoshino 22nd February 2008 06:06 AM

thanks. got to know a little more abt Ayu and that is interesting!
I wonder if it would be great if she collects all her cds instead, cos they are all her acheivements. That would be such a nice collection hahaz.
I didn't expect her to download her songs instead lol..

Namie 22nd February 2008 11:08 AM

Im sorry but I feel so stupid for asking this. Whats the difference between Ayumi Hamasaki and Ayu? are they two forms that the third Ayu takes? the third being herself...im so confused...help me >< I never figured it out when she talks like that. thank you for the translation :D

ayuayu798 22nd February 2008 01:19 PM

Thanks for the article ^^

Yoake 22nd February 2008 10:21 PM

thank you

Catzi 23rd February 2008 08:33 PM

Thank you very much!!

ayumisrael 23rd February 2008 08:57 PM

Thank you! VEry interesting interview, ayu get more point from me, I could relate with a lot of things she said, lol she is a vandal! bless.

catcher_inthelight 23rd February 2008 09:58 PM

This was really interesting!!! thanks for the translations!!! COOKIE FOR YOU!!! ^_~*

LacusClyne 24th February 2008 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Namie (Post 1344809)
Im sorry but I feel so stupid for asking this. Whats the difference between Ayumi Hamasaki and Ayu? are they two forms that the third Ayu takes? the third being herself...im so confused...help me >< I never figured it out when she talks like that. thank you for the translation :D

She see' Ayumi Hamasaki' as a product, while 'Ayu' is the true her

isaac hiew 24th February 2008 04:45 PM

When she is being a part of entertaining industry, she is Ayumi Hamasaki. She sings; attending interviews, photo shooting.... live performances... She has to behave accordingly.

When she is not AYU, she can be a really naughty girl..... hehehe..... hence she said sometimes she had a mix-up of identities on certain scenes.

Chandrachan 25th February 2008 12:01 AM

Arigatou for the article!! ^^ Ayu's been working really hard nee?

fuawas 25th February 2008 01:15 PM

thanks for the translation!
talkin' 2 myself is such a good song..
thanks!!

Raleigh 26th February 2008 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Namie (Post 1344809)
Im sorry but I feel so stupid for asking this. Whats the difference between Ayumi Hamasaki and Ayu? are they two forms that the third Ayu takes? the third being herself...im so confused...help me >< I never figured it out when she talks like that. thank you for the translation :D

Well I think the difference is that one is the "real" Ayu, while the other is the one she presents to the public eye.

Namie 27th February 2008 10:54 PM

^ thanks for the replies :D

(miss)understood 3rd March 2008 01:19 AM

i found this really interesting

jon_the_d 5th March 2008 06:52 PM

yeah, but isaac, I'm so sure that when she's talking about being avandal, she's talking about her nature, her character. NOT just her approach to music.

I am SO sure.

4ever*ayu 5th March 2008 10:16 PM

thx, Isaac!
great job once again..
it felt so nice when we can understand on ayu interview, and know much more about ayu.

I love the last part, ayu quotation : "Living is a knowledge itself"

everlastingRAINBOW 8th March 2008 02:46 PM

Nice article! She lives and keeps herself happy, happiness is important!

Chibi_Venus 8th March 2008 04:22 PM

Very interesting. Thank you for the translation!

Surreal17 23rd February 2013 07:06 PM

Very interesting article.Ayu's view of life is very insightful.THANKS for the translation!I always liked the line:"Before construction there's destruction" and I finally understood what it means.

Chris85 24th February 2013 02:00 AM

Thank you, it was fun to read.

Aderianu 29th November 2016 09:03 AM

This song was produced before "Glitter/Fated".
That is surprise for me!

Recently I discovered that downloading song can be so much fun.
it is always funny to read about it xD


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