Music Is My Hot Hot Sex

From all the sh it the one i gotta buy is music
From all the jobs the one i choose is music
From all the drinks the one i get drunk of music
From all the bit©hes the one i wannabe is music

Music is my beach house
Music is my hometown
Music is my kingsize bed
Music is where i meet my friends
Music is my hot hot bath
Music is my hot hot sex
Music is my back rub
My music is where i'd like you to touch


Art-Bit©h

lick lick lick my art-tit
suck suck suck my art-hole

I ain't no art-ist
I am an art-bit©h
I sell my paintings to the men I eat
I have no port-fo-lee-o
cuz I only show
where there's free al-co-hol

They see me mowin'... my front lawn
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Can't ya see I'm white & nerdy?
Look at me, I'm white & nerdy
I wanna roll with... the gangstas

But so far they all think I'm too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
I'm just too white & nerdy
Really, really white & nerdy

First in my class there at MIT
Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
MC Escher, that's my favorite MC
Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin - to the contrary
You'll find that they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry

Stephen Hawking's in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin' for my Top 8 spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills, but I still wear braces

I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a whiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
Once you see my sweet moves, you're gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin' so fast, I'll set the place ablaze
There's no killer app I haven't run

At Pascal, well, I'm number one
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat but I got a soldering gun
"Happy Days" is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on

I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
Here's the part I sing on...

They see me roll on... my Segway
I know in my heart they think I'm white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
[ White & Nerdy lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Can't ya see I'm white & nerdy?
Look at me, I'm white & nerdy
I'd like to roll with... the gangstas
Although it's apparent I'm too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
I'm just too white & nerdy
How'd I get so white & nerdy?

I've been browsin', inspectin'
X-Men comics, you know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect 'em
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media
I edit, Wikipedia

I memorized "Holy Grail" really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doin' web sites

When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do HTML for 'em all
Even made a home page for my dog
Yo, I got myself a fanny pack
They were havin' a sale down at The Gap
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop pop, hope no one sees me... gettin' freaky
I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream
I was in A/V Club and Glee Club and even the chess team
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was, do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire
Got my name on my underwear

They see me strollin'... they laughin'
And rollin' their eyes 'cause I'm so white & nerdy
Just because I'm white & nerdy
Just because I'm white & nerdy
All because I'm white & nerdy
Holy cow, I'm white & nerdy

I wanna bowl with... the gangstas
But oh well, it's obvious I'm white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
I'm just too white & nerdy
Look a' me, I'm white & nerdy

My life is brilliant
What, was I too early?
Oh, sorry... Should I - do you wanna start over, or...
Keep going? Okay... now? Now?

My life is brilliant
Your life's a joke
You're just pathetic
You're always broke
Your homemade Star Trek uniform
Really ain't impressin' me
You're sufferin' from delusions of
Adequacy

You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful, it's true
Never had a date
That you couldn't inflate
And you smell repulsive too
What a bummer bein' you

Well, you just can't dance
And forget romance
Everybody you know still calls you...
Farty-Pants
But you'll always have a job - well, I mean...
As long as you still can work that Slurpee machine

You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful, it's true
You're half-undressed
Eatin' chips off your chest
While you're playin' Halo 2
No one's classier than you

La la la la, la la la la
La la la la loser

You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful, it's true
Your dog would much rather play fetch by itself
You still live with your mom and you're 42
Guess you'll never grow a clue
Well, it just sucks to be you

Lock eyes from across the room
Down my drink, while the rhythms boom
Take your hand and skip the names
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry
Leave this place go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your doors
A whole night what we've got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
And I

Jizz in my pants

This really never happens you can take my word
I won't apologize, that's just absurd
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
And now I

Jizz in my pants

Don't tell your friends or I'll say your a ****
Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus

Now I'll go home and change

(Jorma) I need a few things from the grocery
Do things alone now mostly
Left me heart broken not lookin' for love
Surprised in my eyes when I looked above
The check out counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never felt that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me that's when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked "cash? or credit?"
And I

Jizzed in my pants

It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
But we're going to need a clean up on aisle 3
And now I'm posed in an awkward stance because I

Jizzed in my pants

To be fair you were flirting a lot
Plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you're not impressed
One more thing, I'm gonna pay by check

Last week - I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I

Jizzed in my pants

Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
Need to get away need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I

Jizz in my pants
The next day my alarm goes off and I
Jizz in my pants
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I
Jizz in my pants
When bruce willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I
Jizzed in my pants
I just ate a grape and I
Jizzed... in... my pants
Jizzed... in... my pants
Ok seriously you guys can we... ok...

I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me
And when we're holding hands it's like having sex with me
You say I'm premature I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times it's a necessity

Cuz I

Jizz... in... my pants

(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants)
Yes I jizz... in... my pants
(I jizz in my pants I jizz in my pants)

My job is stupid
My day's a bore
Inside this office
From eight to four

Nothing ever happens
My life is pretty bland
Pretending that I'm working
Pray I don't get canned

My cubicle
My cubicle
Its one of sixty-two

Its my small space
In a crowded place

Just a 6 by 6 board room
And I hate it that's the truth

When I give a sigh
As the boss walks by
No one ever talks to me or looks me in the eye
And I really should work
But instead I sit here and surf the internet

In my cubicle
My cubicle
It doesn't have a view

Its my small space
In a crowded place

I sit in solitude
And sometimes I sit here nude

*U.G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi
You ugly! eh! hey!
You ugly!

repeat * (2 times)

I saw you walking down the street just the other day
I didn't see your damage from that far away
I shoulda got a clue when the kids started screamin'
You walked up to me with you're buck teeth a'gleamin'

Your hair is all frizzy and your face looks mess
I thought it was a sack but its your favorite dress
You hurt the trees' feelings and the birds all flew
I don't mean to insult you- oh, wait, yes I do!

Your teeth are yellow, they're covered in mold
You're only fourteen? You look a hundred years old
When looks were handed out, you were last in line
Your face looks like where the sun don't shine

Did you fall off a building and land on your head?
Or did a truck run over your face instead?
There ain't no pill, 'cuz you ain't ill
You ugly!

repeat * (2x)

What you really need is to wear a mask
And book that plastic surgeon fast!
Girl, you're scary, you're hairy, I heard about you
You're the main attraction at the city zoo

You're so fat and ugly with a belly full of flab
When you wear a yellow coat people shout out: CAB!

You got eyes like a pig, and your nose is big
And with hear like that, you should be wearin' a wig
Uncle Fester, remember him?
I never knew that you had a twin

You can't disguise your googly eves
In the Miss Ugly Pageant you win first prize
Yo' mama say you ugly
You ugly!

repeat * (2x)

Get busy (8x)

Get busy (8x)
Yo' mama say you ugly (4x)

You ugly!!!

U-U-U-U
(now I feel like blondie)

repeat * (2x)

Quasimoto!
Camel breath!
Square head!
Ugly!!!

Chichen legs!
Pig face!
Chin like Bubba!
Ugly!!!

Fish lips!
Toad Licker!
Poindexter!
Ugly!

Spaghetti arms!
Limp butt!
Freak show!
Ugly!

repeat *

U-G-L-Y
You could make an onion cry
U-G-L-Y
Like an alien chased by the FBI

U-G-L-Y (6x)

U-G-L-Y, You ain't got no alibi
You ugly!!!