[apple-pi]

It's been a long way... *starts typing out really long rant that no one cares about*
When I first started listening to J-Pop, I ended up hearing about her, obviously, 'cause she's really really famous and stuff. In western music, I tend to find unknown artists A LOT better than the famous ones - so, when I first found out about Ayu, I thought she'd be lame because she was famous, I though her music would be as useless and meaningless and way way too mainstream like the stuff that plays on the radio here~
I think the first song I heard from her was In The Corner. I remember keeping the song in my iTunes/MP4-player for quite some time, thinking it was "decent", but eventually the song annoyed me and I deleted it. Basically, I just hated Ayu, I thought her poppish mainstream songs were really really bad and really silly (I had no lyrics translations >___<) and I thought her rock songs, while not being silly, were just decent, and didn't really appeal to me.
The first song I actually LOVED, the one that I kept on repeat and looked up the romaji lyrics online to sing along, was YOU. I loved it. But I still disliked Ayu for some reason, and I think I just ignored the fact that the song was hers. The second song I fell in love with was Moments, I loved the chorus very very much... I loved how repetitive the melody on the chorus sounded and compared it to a ticking clock ^___^
Thing is... I don't remember what it was, but for some reason, one day, I decided to give Ayu a second chance. So I went to Youtube, I wanted to watch the most watched Ayu video to see what her most popular songs were like... and that's how I found M. Seriously, I don't know what it is about that song. I usually don't become obsessed with a song unless the lyrics are really genius or just really appeal to me for some reason, but I had no idea what the lyrics meant at the time~ yet I really fell in love with the song. The song, the PV... I don't know what it was. I fell in love with Ayu in that moment, and I have no idea why~ But when I started to look for other Ayu songs that I might like, I just didn't like any of them. After a while I just gave up, "Ayu is a great artist, but her music just isn't the kinf of stuff I listen to"~
It was when GUILTY came out that I actually started to enjoy her music (yes, I'm a newbie fan XD) I just loved the Marionette PV... and I thought, as I watched it, "Hey, this song is actually... good...!"; then I decided to watch the (don't) Leave me Alone PV, but I was really sure that I wouldn't like the song. I was surprised that I actually really liked it as well... so I downloaded the album... and it was a really pleasent surprise, I loved basically every track. That's when I decided to see what her lyrics were like... I saw a subbed performance of fated on Veoh, and loved it so much and it was so beautiful that I had the song on repeat for about 2/3 days. I have no idea how many times I listened to that song at that time, really.
Then, since I really loved the GUILTY album, I started coming to AHS as a guest, to read the Oricon style sales thread. Someone had a bit M lyric translations on their siggy, and I immediately noticed I NEEDED to find the translation to that song. When I read it... I was... I dunno. I fell in love with it all over again. So I started to look for more Ayu translations... and much, much more often than not, I was impressed. they were too beautiful. That's how my love for her started to grow a bit more...
After a while, her personality really started to make me love her even more. I mean... I'm not gonna say the only reason she's in the business is because of her fans, and I'm not gonna say she's sacrificing herself for our sake when she continues her career despite being deaf in one ear. But I can't help but think Ayu is a really lonely person, and she really does love her fans a lot. She was lost before she started singing, in my humble opinion. Now she's so happy... songs like AUDIENCE seriously shake me up. Anyway... both her good qualities, and even her flaws... they make her so beautiful...
Her songs really mean something to me. I'll admit I'm obsessed... as pathetic as it may be... have I ever said Ayu is my biggest obsession after Sailor Moon? The reason I have an internet addiction, the reason I like anime/manga/J-music, the things I dream of, the things I'm afraid of... I don't know how, but they were all influenced by Sailor Moon at some point. (I sound like a lunatic, don't I? XD) Ayu influences me like that. That's how much I love her.

*finnishes typing out really long rant that no one cares about*
I hope I didn't sound too pathetic. Haha XD