[dartsofpleasure]

If you haven't read or seen Harry Potter, you might nor get these, but I think they're hilarious

Harry & The Potters - Smoochy Smoochy Pukey Pukey (about Ron and his girlfriend in The Half-Blood Prince)

Hello, Ron
You don’t look so good this morning
You’ve got something stuck on your face
It looks like it sucks
What could it be?
Is it a leech?
Is it the giant squid,
Because it’s wrapped around you pretty tight

Oh wait, it’s a girl
Well, I know your sister said
You have the experience of a twelve year old
But, come on mate, please don’t act thirteen

I’m pretty sure Draco Malfoy is crying
‘Cause you’re grossing us out with your tongue in her mouth
If you can kiss, kiss, kissing, we’ll be slip, slip, slipping
On the homogenous mixture of your saliva
And our vomit

Well if you’re doing this to make Hermione jealous, it’s working
But the process, good God, the process is just making us nauseous

Draco & The Malfoys - My Dad Is Rich

My dad's always there
To open all my doors
You have to call a patronus
Just to catch a glimpse of yours

My mom says she loves me
When she tucks me into bed
How's your mommy doing
In the Mirror of Erised?

My dad is rich and your dad is dead
My dad is rich and your dad is dead

Draco & The Malfoys - Potions Yesterday

You messed up in Potions yesterday
But everyone still thinks you're really great
Except Snape
Except Snape
Except Snape
And me

'Cause we see you for what you really are
Stupid little dork with a stupid dorky scar
And it's okay
It's really great
'Cause I hate you
And so does Snape