[LacusClyne]

hmm...i thought i had posted in this thread but i guess i forgot.

anyway, i had been an ayu fan since 2001, i was only 15 years old...

She's more then my idol, ayu actually saved my life
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Back then in 2001, i was being isolated at school, my friends are all in other classes and hardly talk to me, even our recess priod is different. I was put into a class with repeat students and it was horrible....

The boys can't stand me, they found me an eyesore. i wasn't a pretty girl back then, had a horrible haircut, i'm wearing those big and baggy uniforms.They kept bullying me, erasing my completed homework, burning my textbooks, throwing rubbish on my desk, hiding my stuff are consider NOTHING. I had been kicked down from the stairs, and the most serious incident that made me so sad was trying to push me off the barrier from the 4th level, almost killing me.

I have no one to talk too, the teachers are useless, they are scared of them and my form teacher even walked up to them when they are selling pirated VCD DURING CLASS, and BUY from them. I don't dare to go to the principal either, coz i was too worried that the prinicipal will take the teachers' side. My parent are out of the question, my dad grow up in an environment where he was taught that the teachers are always right. He will believe the teacher over me.

My mind was so lost and angry. i had even planned to commit suide, by jumping down after school, i want those bullies to remember my death and be haunt by guilt forever.
I had cut my finger and wrote a letter in blood and stuck it under my pillow for my parent to find it when i passed away.

Just a few days before the day i plan to jump down, i went to a mall with my sis, we walked past a vendor selling pirated cds, and i saw Ayu's A Best. A best was just release back then, and there were plenty of advertisement in singapore about how ayu's lyrics had gave those japanese strength and change their lives.
Out of curiousity, i bought her album and....

the first track, a song for xx... totally wake me up.
I realise i wasn't alone in the world afterall, Ayu's lyrics is exactly what i was feeling.
It's scary, like someone whom you don't know, understands you and shares the same feeling. i feel so warm after reading the lyrics, and i cried so much....It was then i realise my life is more then that.
My parent had been always by my side and i would be very cruel to leave them, and my sister too, she's only 12. how can i do this to them?
i should be the one controling my life, not those bullies, if they are going to bully me at school and no one can help me, FINE! i won't go to school. I end up skipping school for 3 days, going to the library and read. I only go to school for 2 days and we are studying different courses.
NO ONE find out that i didn't go to school, till i got my results, coz i got a low grade and was demoted to a lower class. but i don't care, at least i'm still alive.

i was reborn in 2001, my thoughts and feelings are no longer the same, because of ayu.

as years passed, ayu's lyrics are just like my chicken soup.

I started to buy her albums and concerts since then, it's quite easy to find ayu's stuff in singapore actually. When i started earning more money in 2005, i started buying some concert goodies from a local store. My first ayu's single is [STEP you/is this LOVE?] coz i love [My name's WOMEN] song so much that i want to watch the pv, not to mention that the STEP you pv preview i saw on an entertainment show looks good.
The next year, my dad bought a computer for my sis for her schoolwork so i discover AYUNITE, then AHS. My first download live was Fairyland and i seriously love it!!!!
I started online purchases after (m)u, when i got my first debit card! It was heaven, having my cds in hands before it reach the local shore and all those AYUPANS~~~ OMG~~~ i can't find them in singapore.
There was a time when i was haunting in ebay and YAJ for cheap ayupans and second hand singles. i went overboard and got like 45+ ayupans within the first year....
In 2007 i started to buy her tour merchadies through middleman service and my collection had grow soooo much.

My dream....is to thank ayu for saving my life...i had live on another 8 years because of ayu

and to see her live in concert, be it taiwan/hongkong or JAPAN!!!!!