[Ayu_no_tenshi]

i agree 100% with both GRACE and Ayumi626. i would especially like to elaborate on the the statement from Ayumi626 about us (the fans). in the early part of her career, it was more about 'me me me'. singing was her escape and her way of confronting her issues and healing herself or even coming to realize something that she hadn't really known before. she's even said that she was writing for herself and trying to find her place in the world. it was all about discovering herself. then she got to a period to where things were great. she had her newly found success and her wonderful relationship and she started to change. i honestly think that's when she looked at her life and thought "wow...after all i've been through and the darkness i experienced, my fans were always there for me" and that caused her to be more conscious of us and what we want or things that we might be going through. these days, it's almost like she shoves her needs aside in order to please us. she's said several times in interviews that she feels in this day and age, it's her duty to deliver messages of hope to lift people up, keep them strong and help them go on. i can't think of any other artist out there that is as closely connected to their fans as ayu. eastern or western. while this is wonderful and it's definitely one of the things we've all come to love about ayu...it certainly doesn't help her out as much as it does for us. don't you think that we, as fans, have been a little too selfish and way too demanding of her? of course there are some of us out there that wish she'd take a break but i remember when she hurt her hand and almost canceled PCDL. a lot of people were furious. that's insane, if you ask me. her health and well-being should be our main concern. same goes for the voice complaints. i consider myself an extremely devoted ayu fan but i will be the first to admit that her voice has been off and weak lately in her live performances but that doesn't anger me and it doesn't make me upset with her. it certainly doesn't make me like her any less. what it does do, however, is make me worry. i'm really concerned about what's going on in her life. she's had a LOT of bad things happen over the course of the past two years and just as Ayumi626 said...she hasn't really allowed herself time to really think about those things and heal. she just always bounces back immediately with that "GOTTA GO ON!" kind of attitude so that we are not disappointed in her. we sit back and admire her for that and think "wow, she's so strong!" but really we need to know that it's ok to be weak sometimes. she's sacrificed a lot for the sake of her fans. she has all this bottled-up pain and it's completely thrown her off. everyone has their ups and downs. i truly believe that this is just a slump for her and she will get through it eventually. i have a feeling that the next album, or possibly the one after that, is going to be super amazing because everything that's building up inside of her right now is going to overflow or explode and she's gonna finally release all of her emotions and focus on healing herself again. she really needs to take it easy. anyway, as we all know...she just recently wrote and released a song specifically for US. "RED LINE ~for TA~" has some of the most beautiful and touching lyrics. it's all about offering us strength and hope. she's always there for us...how about we be there for her for a change??