[NintendoHTF1242]

Originally Posted by Love Shine

What response did your friend give?

OMG I'm sorry for not noticing your post lol! Anyway, my friend does racial studies stuff, so his reply was REALLY long lol. But it was very well thought-out. It's really long though, so I'll have to put it in a spoiler.

Spoiler:

This is a rather interesting subject that you have brought up. It's great to see people start thinking more critically and being more socially aware of their surroundings. The KDWB [note: local radio station that made a racist song towards my group of people] incident has definitely brought things into light and you are one of the many who have been affected by it in this way.

I want to begin by stating that these discussions are pretty sketchy to talk about. Perhaps not between you or me, but with others such as your friends who made the comment. However, it is important that we take the risk to step outside our comfort zone and spark these talks.

Too often (and no one is exempt from this, including myself), we have or do make comments that are pretty discriminatory or derogatory to a group of people. Though we all do this, what's important is that we take the time to stop and consider why said what we did. In what context do we mean it? Is there anything in our upbringing that has conditioned us to speak this way? When we say things, do we unintentionally send out another message with it (see: KDWB)?? It may not be best to interrogate someone with all these questions, but have them in mind when you discuss such matters and use them as a framework for your discussion.

I find it quite interesting the foil that is between a "white person acting black" and a "black person acting white". In the framework of an American society where race discussions have become taboo, we have neglected to consider the differences in the stereotypes between whites and blacks. (again, these are stereotypes) Where as Whites are arguably presented as the sophisticated race, this is drastically the opposite of the primitive and stupid stereotyping of blacks that was so prevalent in early America (see: Jim Crow laws) and still is today in many undertones.

When we call someone a "wigger" or an "oreo", what are we implying? Perhaps that a white man has fallen from grace and has adopted an inferior culture. Or, perhaps a black man has "progressed" into a more appropriate and evolved white stereotype. Maybe yes, maybe no. Point being, we are reaffirming that people belong to a certain set of characteristics. And, if they break from this mold, they have become inferior or have risen from a natural state of inferiority based simply on their race.

I knew someone in high school (who shall remain anonymous) that spoke out when someone used the term Oreo. Though I do not recall if the term was being directed at him or at someone else, he spoke out against the use of the word and that it constructs a mentality that African-Americans MUST behave a certain way, or else be of wrong doing. (For details, I think it had something to do with reading books and studious)

WHew. Sorry for the rant. But that leads to my main point. You were right on the money when you said we shouldn't blame or label her for "stepping outside the box". I do indeed know of Nicki Minaj. My first suggestion would be to inquire the person what he/she meant by it exactly. Does she mean this description in the similar fashion that people use "wigger" or "oreo". And what does THAT mean? Try to deconstruct if we've started to try to fit people into a mold that makes us comfortable because it fits into the stereotypes that we want to believe in.

Don't get me wrong, I am not implying that everything is a conspiracy and that he/she is intentionally doing this. Nonetheless, the comment revealed there is a perception of a group of people.

On the flip side, I also have to say it's can be helpful to give people the benefit of the doubt before labeling them something harsh like "racist" (which, I also oppose). Regardless, I encourage you to use this opportunity or similar incidents in the future to spark a conversation. Getting people talking the best thing you can start off with. Something, convos work great and everyone can leave them with new insights. Other times, they don't work well for various reasons. The beginning of communication is important and is the key step in getting anything accomplished.

Additionally, it's also critical that when you engage in these discussions, you hold your ground AND your cool. Too often, everyone wants to speak but not truly listen. Moreover, be careful of how you say things. Based on simply your word choice or just tone, one can give off a completely different message than what they wanted.

Lastly, I suggest that you take this overall theme (and you can use the incident as a gateway/example) and think about it to others and yourself. The more people you talk to, the more perspectives you have to work with. And, sometimes the best realizations are when you are calm with yourself.

Sorry for the LOOOONG reply, but I hope every bit of it is helpful. As always, feel free to respond as much as you need or message me with anything else. Always glad to discuss this stuff!