[Midori-chan]

When you look at Ayumi Hamasaki, do you see Ayu, the human being, or do you see Ayumi Hamasaki the Entertainer? Is there a grey area?
The first song I heard by Ayu about nine years ago was "Endless sorrow" and after reading the lyrics to this song it was impossible for me not to see her as a human being.
I was in secondary school back then and was bullied by my schoolmates on a daily basis. I had no friends and neither my teachers nor my parents cared about what I was going through.
In Ayu I found a person who understood my pain. I became addicted to her music and her lyrics, because it felt like she wrote about my life. Her music was also very different from the music I had known so far. This girl didn't only write about love and sweet things, but about pain and hate and loss. But I could also hear hope in her words and the power not to give up.
Ayu gave me a reason to walk on. She told me that it's okay to believe in my dreams. That it's no childish to wish never to grow up.

I know that a lot of fans think that Ayu's lyrics have changed...and of course they have, because Ayu has changed!
She went through a lot, but she became stronger and learned how to deal with things.
I also have the feeling that her lyrics became more happier and positive (but not less meaningful). It's NOT a bad thing to be happy and to enjoy life. People need to understand that!

But I'm also aware that Ayu is an entertainer too. And I love her concerts, PVs and live performances.
But in the end I'll always see the human being Hamasaki Ayumi before I see the "Queen of JPop" Ayu.

How do you think that affects what you want from what she does? What do you want from her?
As silly as this might sound, but I want Ayu to be happy. I know that a lot of fans think that Ayu writes her best lyrics when she is sad and depressed. But what kind of fan - what kind of human being - would I be, when I wish for her to be sad and depressed all the time only so that she can give us "good music"?!
I think that Ayu is a very independent person, who takes her work seriously (sometimes too seriously, because we all know that she is a workaholic). She does things her own way and not always plays it safe. That's one of the reasons why I love her, because I'm like this too.
And she cares about people, especially her fans. Some people might argue now that this is only show, but I really don't think so. I think Ayu really wants people to be happy and to accept each other.

Do you think that being so close to Ayu with social media affects your view of her?
Not really.
I'm not online much. I get all news about Ayu from this site. I don't have Twitter or Weibo (well, I do have a Twitter account, but I don't use it), so social media doesn't affect me much, because I rarely come in touch with it.

How do you feel about the way other people see Ayu?
To be honest, I don't really care. I read what other people think about Ayu on the net (mostly here on AHS), but I'm not a fan, who starts arguments with people who don't like Ayu. Most of them have already made up their minds about not liking Ayu and there is no way that you can change the way these people think (at least in my experience).

What I don't like is people who bash Ayu! Saying things like: "Oh, she is so ugly!" or "She is a ****." (like some so-called fans did after Ayu's "Naked shooting" in ViVi!) is just mean. These people really need to shut up!
There was a time when I would spend hours arguing with such people on the internet, but I grew tired of it. Like I've said, most of them have already made up their minds about Ayu and I don't feel like spending my time and energy on useless and hate-filled discussions.

Are you a little pig-headed about your opinions?
No, I don't think so. I know perfectly well that at the end of the day Ayu is also "only" a human being like all of us. She is not a flawless queen. She makes mistakes and wrong decisions.
As much as I love her, I don't see her as a goddess or some kind of ubermensch.
But no matter how hard I think, Ayu has never given me a reason to doubt or hate her. It might sound crazy, but I trust this woman.
I've known her for more than nice years and I have gone through the good and the bad times with her (her and my good and bad times!).
It's not always easy to accept everything she does, but I guess that's what "relationships" are all about - accepting the other person no matter in what mood he/she might be in (as Ayu also always tells us so nicely in her lyrics!).