When you look at Ayumi Hamasaki, do you see Ayu, the human being, or do you see Ayumi Hamasaki the Entertainer? Is there a grey area?
I think when I first got into Ayu, I was just really overwhelmed cos she's the very first artist whom could be so real, yet kinda obviously she IS a "product". I was amazed, impressed and I thought, "this is someone I respect."
Moreover, I think she really moved me along a period of my life when I had a ton of unrequited crushes and stuff... and her songs really helped me (I'll never forget the impact Days had on my life... it was ****ing epic.)
That just helped me to see her more and more as a human. Maybe to an extent where, if I knew she pickpocketed something in the past I'd be devastated lol.
But now, growing older, I think I lost that "angst" that I could relate to her songs back then. Now, Ayu's Ayu & she still inspires me a great deal and entertains me a hell lot, but I think I'm beginning to see her more as an entertainer.
How do you think that affects what you want from what she does? What do you want from her?
Nothing, to be honest. I've never expected anything from Ayu; I just get shocked time to time when I see herself just not.. trying at all (S/S covers, Kazuyoshi spree, etc). It almost comes across as a disappointment, cos I'm not upset because I want quality from her. I'm upset because I know she can do so much more & it's as if she's just wasting it away...
Do you think that being so close to Ayu with social media affects your view of her?
Haha. I was never close to her on Twitter (got 2 replies I guess), maybe cos i don't have that much time
But i think social media really helped to bring about a new perspective of Ayu, regardless if anyone likes it or not.
It's only through social media, that we can see her connecting publicly with other celebrities... and I suppose it gives a glimpse of how Ayu'd be like in private; friendly, sociable, funny, caring etc...
We even saw her giving *****y remarks and stuff to bad tweets, that's why I never believed the Twitter account was staged to get more fans lol.
How do you feel about the way other people see Ayu?
Hmm. It depends. Most of the time, I really can't be bothered with what other people think or feel about Ayu but sometimes it gets annoying. Really annoying.
I mean, there's a difference between being a fan of Ayu, being inspired, feeling close, wanting to get closer, wanting to know her more, to get her attention and behaving as if she's your real-life friend.
Let me give an example. If you find yourself tweeting to Ayu for "advice" cos you failed your exams/parents died/broke up with ur bf instead of being real and finding your friends to talk to, then it comes across as being stupid.
I think I didn't realize this when she first started Twitter, but really, whatever that happens, there's no way any of us can be a "true blue friend" of Ayu, because she has her life too, and she has her friends, her family, her LIFE. It's just disgusting, for anyone to expect her to open up a space for one fan, just because you're a fan and you spend 10 hours a day on Twitter trying to suck up to her.
I don't know if I'm gonna get banned, but I'll say it. I think Jorge was a fine example. Everyone thought it was cool how he got a mention in the AT 10 concert or something. Yes it was cool, it was a nice gesture from Ayu to mention him.
But then it went haywire when he started suspecting Mannie and her marriage, and other personal stuff of her life... I mean it's like, we've to realize we're fans, not friends.
And the truth is, there's only THAT MUCH of her life that Ayu can give to a fan/fans, and expecting so much that you wanna have a meal with her or be her bff... I think if Ayu sincerely wants to be your friend to an extent of her and Peco for example, she'd have DM-ed you on Twitter already.
Unfortunately, I think even Ayu gets blurred and is overwhelmed by this. I mean, I think when she first started with Twitter, she probably was overwhelmed by the surprise and I can bet you, she had no idea on how to react.
That's why we get her awkwardly coming into quarrels about Jaejoong, Max, etc... because it's her personality to care I suppose, but she didn't know how to react on a social media platform.
And I think, based on her personality, she's SO NICE, she's that kind and even stupid to a certain extent that she doesn't know how to draw a line between fans and friends.
I can understand when fans go gaga and really desperately wanna be your friend, but I really think Ayu doesn't know how to handle such a response, even till now.
And that's sick.
Because nowadays, it feels like many of her music/stuff are "for the fans", which is bleh.
Ayu. In her haydays, she doesn't give a **** about her fans and made songs her way, that she wanted.
When I heard "beloved"'s PV was made for the fans, I kinda face-palmed, cos I thought Ayu was just... giving in way too much.
She's a Libra I know, and they tend to lose themselves by compromising too much in a relationship, but I feel that, if it's so obvious that her quality of music IS going downhill ever since her exposure globally, then maybe she should restrain herself a little.
Are you a little pig-headed about your opinions?
Yes. You can try to reason with me. If I feel that you're not rude and not stupidly blinded, I will listen. And I don't think I say things for spite's sake, or I'm a "hater"... bleh whatever I've said what I felt.