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Holy crap, I cant believe that.
there is a HUGE difference between SEX and gender. You can be male (sex) but feel and be female (gender) and vice verse. To say that people can not or to not even acknowledged the fact is inhumanly gross.
also, one can completely change their SEX and gender.
About about the he/she talk... it all depends on the person. HIDE might not find it offensive at all to be still called a HE by his/her's friends... or even people that HIDE as just met, (although I don't know why HIDE would go by male if he is female to new people?)
I have know transgender people go by both because they understand that it is a HUGE adjustment. and the point of it is to make it as easy as possible for yourself and loved ones.
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