If you read her interviews, she has stopped trying to be perfect because it was a way for her to 'feel safe', but it made her feel 'incomplete' and 'lonely'. I would rather her feel good and release music like this than have to force an image because she's afraid of what would happen if she didn't.
I personally think that most fans need to begin looking forward and not remember the past. The Ayu that sang Secret and made albums in the years past no longer exists, she's said as much. Much has changed in the last 5+ years when it comes to Ayu and her contact with fans among other things, but I feel like at the very least she has always been "Hamasaki Ayumi" and the two characters of "Ayu" that we see publicly and "Hamasaki Ayumi" that used to be 'private' have merged into one. (or was it the other way around?)
I don't really care how she was before, honestly, as long as she is happy doing what she's doing. She's made mistakes recently, but I think she's learnt from them.
Translated by Misa-chan:
Quote:
I don’t need to be perfect, nor to protect myself anymore. I’m really afraid of nothing now. In the past, I created an iron wall with things such as hair and make-up, and felt safe when enclosed inside. Now, whenever I make myself up to be perfect, it just feels different and sort of lonely. Being perfect now feels incomplete. There’s hope there, but also despair. That is how I am.
Either way, no matter how I am, it’s more important that everyone is enjoying themselves. It doesn’t matter if that means that I’ll be exhausted, and have to travel a long way, because that’s important to me. This thing, which seems so natural, is what I have chosen. When I realized that, I really became fearless.”
|