[primavera♥]

I don't think ayu is so uncreative. Maybe love again is. That would be how I define that. But NL, RnRC, and Love songs weren't lacking in creativity to me and had lovely themes too. Same for the last few tours before ABL. And her being relatable is subjective. Though maybe I'm just too emotional and have to much empathy. I still really connect with and love taking in what she sings about. Buy I can see how other people would fail to relate. She is very different from most of her fans I'd imagine and is in a different place in life.

Ayu just seems so wise sometimes though as a person. and still has some awesome things about her career. I can't just believe that she is some completely lazy diva who doesn't even try. Idk.

On another note, I think sometimes I have to step back and remember that I don't know the real ayu. Which is disappointing. Like I don't really know what she thinks, how she feels, what problems she may have. I feel like I've always viewed her as this idealized woman and had the highest expectations because I didn't view her as human like I would a personal friend who I give less judgment and more understanding to when things aren't perfect. I wish ayu could be perfect by my standards. And she's come closer than any artist. But idk, I feel like I've only realized all this this year. And it has made me more chill about what she does while still able to critique

I think what I would like from ayu for this new album is a music video that pays attention to detail. She doesn't always have extra special music videos but I want something like alterna.