Quote:
Originally Posted by Delirium-Zer0
I understand why Andrenekoi used the phrase "attention whore." I use that term for men & women alike as well, and yes it's a very disparaging term - if a "whore" is someone you look down on because they sell themselves for money and you don't approve of that behavior, then it stands to reason that an "attention whore" is anyone who sells themselves in exchange for attention, and that is likewise behavior you don't approve of. There's not really any other term for it though, even if you don't necessarily see Ayu as an ENTIRELY bad person because she's an attention chaser. (I mean I guess we can use "attention chaser," if you guys wanna take that. lol)
In any case, once a discussion moves to semantics rather than substance it's hard to address the substance of what Andrenekoi was trying to say, so I'm gonna shift to that instead... And I think he's 100% right. I don't think it should be unexpected for Ayu to want & need attention, especially positive attention, given the very nature of her career choice. Even if she's not as insecure as, to me, she appears to be, it's not shocking that she'd share anything that she thinks people might respond to. I don't think she thinks that hard about it is all. I think she just experiences a given moment in her life, and if she doesn't think "nah, that'd be unappealing/boring/uninteresting," and if she's not afraid to share it, then she shares it. For better or worse, I think she just kinda... thinks of her life in those terms.
If something is 50% shareable though, she shares that 50%, leaving us to arrange puzzle pieces that may or may not fit together. They're part of the same puzzle, perhaps, but they go on opposite sizes of the picture. I think she assumes we can fill in the blanks with, if not details, at least vague colors. But we usually can't, cuz we're all gonna have our own experiences & anxieties that fill in the blanks for her (heck, I'll be the first to admit that I assume insecurity because many of her words and actions echo things I would say or do when I'm at my most insecure. Other people could interpret this stuff WILDLY differently because they bring their own experiences & personality into it).
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I never said it's wrong to want some attention - everyone does. I never blamed Ayu for wanting attention in general. I made an entirely different point.
To the attention whore thing: first I never said I would look down on prostitutes, I never would. I do not approve of the intitution of prostitution but that's a complete different topic. Second in general people call women whores or bitches or sluts because they do not approve of women who have an active sex life. Attention whore is an insult to women who are too "rude" or "loud" in peoples eyes and who aren't behave people think women should behave. So if you're calling someone (doesn't matter if man or woman) an attention whore you're playing with the stereotype if a woman who doesm't behave well and not "like a woman" to discribe or insult someone. And it doesn't matter if you mean it that way or not. People will get the sub text and you're reproducing stereotypes of how people think women should be: well behaved, without an active sex live and better quite and shy than loud and rude.
If you still want to use that term, well there is nothing I could do against it. But personally I try to not reinforce stereotypes because that way we will never overcome them.