[Chibi-Chan]

There is nothing wrong with wanting being on stage and wanting to perform your songs live. But I simply don't believe it when someone, who actually didn't had an illness that wouldn't have been curable chooses getting deaf over functional ears, says it's because they love music that much.
Ayu had the chance to continue making music and even to tour again without losing her ability to hear. There won't be music for her ever again if she goes on like this. She made an absolute irresponsible choice regarding her health back then when she continued touring with a tinnitus and she's doing the same again.
Ayu didn't choose music back then, she chose being on stage. Not being on stage for a while and to get well wouldn't have ment to never perform again. I honestly don't think it was music she loved that much that she would rather not be able to ever listen to it again than to take a little break.
I know what it means to work to a degree and with a passion that you're so stressed out that you get a tinnitus, but I also know what every doctor will tell you then: REST.
Working that hard that you get a tinnitus means you're not feeling well, not at all, and most likely you're commitment to whatever you're doing resembles more an unhealthy relationship you put all your heart into because otherwise you don't have much and you also have some unsolved problems you're running away from. That is not something to praise or that would be brave to do.
Ayu could have gotten well back then and could have focused on writing and composing for a while, in order to get the rest she needed. She did the contrary. And she sure as hell didn't do it because of her love for music, but because she somehow wasn't able to be as responsible to herself as she should have been. I'm sure it's easier to tell oneself it was because of music than to admit she was more acting like a child.
Back then she was only around 21/22, but when she grew up there should have been a time when she realised she should take a break. Somehow she never realised that and reading her TA message it simply seems to me as if she just wants to be on stage because she needs the attention, since she is running away from something else. That is tragic and sad and I really hope she has some friends who will talk some sense into her. Being on stage and therefore losing your ability to hear is a prize way too high to pay.
Like I already sad, not doing 100+ dates every tour and maybe not touring for a year or two wouldn't have ment to never tour and perform again. But doing it ment becoming deaf. That isn't love for music, that is irresponsible and it's sad that it seems she doesn't care about her health and that there never was someone who told her she should care about her health. Reading her TA message there seem to be a lot of assholes around her who are more concerned about the entertainer Hamasaki Ayumi and the entertainment they get than with the person Hamasaki Ayumi.
Also judging by the responses in the forum here and how people praise her for putting being an entertainer over being healthy, it's no wonder she may think that her worth as the artist Hamasaki Ayumi lies on the stage. Maybe that's the real tragedy here.