|
I feel like it goes further than just loneliness, it's about how inevitable becoming alone is. Because sometimes, like WARNING, you push people away with how you choose to live. Or NO FUTURE, where loneliness is almost an assumed conclusion. It doesn't matter how everything plays out, how much you give someone, you end up alone. Even with The show must go on, a song about one constant source of togetherness, the album again reminds you that it's only temporary and loneliness is the result.
I personally feel that there is acceptance of this inevitable loneliness to an extent, when it's from being yourself or holding your ground it's acceptable. I feel like there's still a very Ayu theme of being alone unwillingly though, and wanting to know why - mainly Last minute and out of control. Why does it have to be inevitable that the people you love leave you alone too? Out of control being performed with ASFXX is perfect because of that - "I was born alone. I will go on being alone. I thought that living this way was truly normal". In ASFXX she's crying because she was alone, thought it was normal, but realises it's not - and is lonely. The extra why in the live makes it seem like out of control is another answer to 'why are you crying?' - well, she's not crying, because there's still loneliness, and it always seems to end up that way.
Honestly? One of her best live performances in my opinion, and a pefect duo of songs. ASFXX isn't performed as heavy either, it has a lot of the vulnerability of the version on the ASFXX album, and less of the anger and determination from A BEST or A BALLADS (and later lives). It's very reflective and oh shit, am I here again?
I really like A ONE and clearly have a lot of feelings about it lol, especially out of control. I think it's THE song on the album for me. Even if you can control certain things, accept some loneliness, there's always that one part you can't control.
|