[GRACE]

masa, hun, I thank you for your efforts but man your English makes no sense whatsoever.

Originally Posted by masa

Actually, you had long been crying in your heart, hadn't you?
placement of the word "long" doesn't make sense in English
But you were hiding it, that's what you haven't changed in
The second half of this sentence, grammatically I don't think you need the "in" but I don't know how that affects the translation.


You were smiling, just at the moment we could meet, weren't you?
First comma is unnecessary, semicolon should go before "weren't you"
I'm sure it was your sweet lie and the pretension to be strong with all your might

We always knew, we have never had a day where we forgot
never should come before "have" grammatically. again, don't know how that affects the translation, but it doesn't change the meaning of the sentence
We don't have to know the meaning of becoming an adult

* Because we started to walk, and we don't need a reason for that
the comma is unnecessary
Because we know at least that we are just OK, we are OK now
"at least" and "just" mean the same thing in this sentence

I know painfully, your feelings are reaching me without change
should be "painfully know" the adverb ALWAYS comes before the verb. The comma isn't necessary either
Because our promise that we would share everything is not a lie at all
This makes no sense, should it be "Because OF our promise"? The "that" is also unnecessary

Just as we have protected the naturally-colored flower petals together
We will gently see them through together until the last one falls

** And we started to walk, hand in hand still in an unfamiliar way
should be another comma after "hand in hand" grammatically.
Now we have taken a step forward, and this moment will change the future

* (repeat)
** (repeat)

comments in bold, just speaking from an English grammar prespective. Dunno how the translation affects what you wrote, but nothing I commented on would change the actual meaning of any of these sentences.