Quote:
Originally Posted by 4Seasons
No need to get defensive lol. You added the "would" because of "if.." I am sure. Which is fine, like I said. This is just one of those songs that lose impact when translated focused on grammar and not meaning.
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I think Tenshi no Hane's translation is good. After 8 years total living in Japan for me I think I have a pretty good sense on it and the truth is, Ayu's phrasing in this song is very stilted, so you do have to fill in the gaps a little bit to make it make more sense in English. Everyone is going to do that a little bit differently. The song makes perfect sense as it is in Japanese, but needs some more embellishment to get the same meaning in English. What's important is that the meaning of the song comes through and this translation does that.
The only part that I would really think is worth changing is the "Tell me" part. I would put "Please, tell me." Because saying Oshiete yo ne~, the nuance is very pleading, especially because she prolongs the ne. So even though she doesn't specifically say please, that is the implication. "Tell me" would be simply just oshiete; the "yo ne" part I find to be one of the most important parts of the song.