How much does Ayu mean to you?

[ExodusUK]

Everything ever in my life

[primavera♥]

I grew to love and adore and be inspired by music more than ever before. She's just been apart of my life for the past 4-5 years and it's been cool a worthwile woman to follow all this time

[MeltingCORE]

I'd say a lot. I've loved her music & fashion for awhile now. Like many others, it's helped keep me sane. As for Ayu the person - I don't know her (of course) but from what I can see, she seems like a wonderful, kind person - I only wish her the best.

[Delicious n Bold]

At this point, not too much. My 'obsession' kinda died and now I listen to Ayu sparingly. However, I do hold her lyrics in high regard.
Sometimes, I just need some of her music to make me happy and such. I don't think I'll stop listening to her (at least not for a very long time).

[Delirium-Zer0]

Pretty loaded question... Lol.

I discovered Ayu in Spring 2000, I was in high school. I had just moved from one city to another & had left all my friends behind. At the time I had gotten tired of American music and had moved on to Euro pop, britpop, trip-hop & other experimental genres, and I was just starting to dip my toes into the water of Asian pop, via Cpop (particularly Faye Wong). My sister and I discovered Ayu together, TOTALLY by accident, and I started surfing Ayu fan sites and reading her lyrics.

Her songs were already amazing to me - TO BE reeled me in, Far away sealed the deal and made me a fan officially - but the lyrics were just EXACTLY what I needed at the time. The songs on "A Song for XX" and "LOVEppears" were so perfect for a girl trying to fit in somewhere new, who had a hard time connecting to other people, who was trying to find where she belonged.

It was her honesty that really got me. When RAINBOW came out and she started using English, it felt like she was being less honest and my fandom did wane a bit. But I kept coming back to her, she still had so much amazing music. By this point I was very much into Japanese music in general, and she was still head & shoulders above almost everyone else. So I stuck with her.

Ayu's music has been with me through basically the entire span of my love life, the birth of my daughter, my graduation from high school, being engaged, being poor, getting my career started... and her lyrics make me feel better through all of it, no matter what's going on. Some songs help better than others, and some songs I thought were weak turned out to be really helpful when I needed them. Ayu has been my art & design muse since I was a teenager, and she's made me feel less alone. She reminds me so much of me, too... or at least, what I would be like if I wasn't so afraid to take risks and put myself out there. And I think that makes it easy for me to look up to her.

Her music is a HUGE part of my life. I was never one to imitate her style (although yes I do own a clip-on tail and a few camo & leopard print items), it wasn't the shallow stuff I loved about her. It was the message, the feeling like I wasn't alone, and what I felt I could learn from her. And in the end, if I need cheering up, if I'm stressed out, I can listen to her music and it all goes away.

[NintendoHTF1242]

Like everyone has stated, Ayu's lyrics reach out to me. It feels like Ayu "knows" who I am. With her music, I feel comfort.

There was a moment in my life where I was madly in love with someone that I knew I couldn't have. And I felt that "Days," "is this LOVE?," and "Because of You" slowly helped me out of that phase. Ayu is still very important to me. Her music and lyrics will always be a helping hand in my life.

[jang-kun]

^^Oh my god a very tearful post. I felt your joy! :">


Well, I'm not a very veteran fan just like most of you people are. I became a fan December 1st 2009, when we were having a Jpop vs Kpop topic with my friends. Kpop that time was booming, the groups were fresh and young and the Philippines was really stormed by their charm. I, which is always against the flow, tried to find something that can compete with them, so I can say "Hey *****es I have a fandom, too." I admit, I followed several Kpop groups, SHINee, SNSD, 2NE1, DBSK. But I felt strange, I felt like I was just going with the fad. These artists, which I have to admit are very talented, wasn't able to reach me. I dunno, and please no offense to Kpop fans, their music for me was just... blank. I know pop music was meant to be "blank" or "shallow" but it was during that dilemma that I found a very profound "pop artist." Ayumi Hamasaki came to my life.

At first months, I was following her for the sake of the current fad that time: having a fandom. To be honest, I was just following her that time because she is known to be huge, to have dozens of records, and is the best selling solo artist of Japan. My true love that time was Angela Aki, and she's the first Jpop singer I ever listened to. For me, Ayu was just a bragging right, to slap everyone's faces "My fandom's the top performer of Japan, #15 number one albums, 22 consecutive #1 singles, almost 50m records sold, etc. Your faves could never!" Her lyrics wasn't significant to me, she's just a pretty face, until RNRC was released.

April 14th, 2010, the day I fell in love. I dl-ed her latest album that time, and to see it was an instant hit, I for the first time experience her wielding power. I started to read all of her lyrics, and I became attached to them. The most exciting part for me about knowing Ayu is to see what she is outside the boundaries of fame, when she's at home, when she's relaxed, when she's just Ayumi Hamasaki. I watched her concerts, started listening to her previous works, and then solidified her status as my standard for music. After LS was released, she grew more on me, and then I said to myself, "I need to support her now." I started buying her music right after LS, and gladly as a recent fan, I already owned FIVE, PQ, and will buy ASB and of course her past works.

To answer the question, Ayu is already a part of my living soul. If a quarter of my soul lost, then the whole lot will die. Ayu and her music has helped me countless of times. I can never be true to myself unless I listen to Ayu's lyrics. It was her who contributed so much to my maturity.

After listening to her entire discography, I considered Ayu as a friend, a friend that even though we're not aware of each other's personalities, there's a give-and-take relationship. Sometimes, my real friends which I have here can't make time for me when I need them. Sad, but it's reality. That's why when they bash Ayu or say "Dude, did you even meet her?" I just simply respond, "Guys, this woman never refused on helping me or cheering me on. Unlike you, who are just several kilometers away, Ayu came for my rescue... all the way from Japan."


Sorry for the long post, but I felt happy while doing this. All I could say now, ALL HAIL THE SUPREME GODDESS OF MUSIC!

[happiholic★]

Originally Posted by Delicious n Bold

At this point, not too much. My 'obsession' kinda died and now I listen to Ayu sparingly. However, I do hold her lyrics in high regard.
Sometimes, I just need some of her music to make me happy and such. I don't think I'll stop listening to her (at least not for a very long time).

This is pretty much how I feel. Despite that her lyrics have picked up my spirit and such, she hasn't "changed my life" or anything. No celebrity really has. Except maybe sifow. And even then I don't obsess over her or think that she's my whole world.

[love in music]

She means a lot to me. Her music has helped me through bad times in my life when I felt like giving up and if I didn't have her music during those times I don't know if I'd have the strength to continue living. So, even if there comes a day where I don't like any of her releases or my love for her old music starts to fade I will not develop any sort of bitterness/anger towards her like some other fans tend to do, because she has basically saved my life and I'll always be grateful to her for that.

[ll moments ll]

i've been listening to her for a decade now (i'm pretty sure i discovered a song or 2 in 2001, but started paying more attention to j-pop in 2002-2003).

she was a huge part of my life growing up. i've always connected to her music and like most people, her lyrics really spoke to me. she's one of few artists that i've truly invested the time to know more about and the money to keep on supporting her. i really respect her and despite all the j-pop artists i've loved and supported, she's number 1, really!

yeah, the last couple of years i've seen my "obsession" waning as well, but it's just a part of growing up and moving on to other things. i'll always love her though!

[xLuna&1LOVE]

I love Ayumi, she has been a role model for me since I was a young teenager. Listening to her music calmed me down in bad times and I can't help to relate myself in her songs. And she still is doing this to me; or inspiring myself to dress a bit like her. She is dear to me because of that. Thanks, Ayu.

[Jawdarna]

I actually came across Ayu in 2007, when I was thirteen...
The way Ayu's lyrics have spoken to me throughout my teenage years, you know, with all the drama and whatnot, has just made her this presence in my life.
She's important, even if I don't know her personally, her music has helped me through some times.

If I'm in a tight situation, there are three people's actions I think about emulating:
"What would my Mum do?"
"What would my Dad do?"
"What would Ayu do?"

[~angel*ayumi~]

Ayu means a lot to me <3
Without her and her music I maybe never whould have met my husband^^

[mi|kshake]

Wow, great replies on this thread - a really interesting read!

I can't quite go as far to say she has totally changed my life or anything but she certainly makes it more enjoyable.

I go through phases of my fandom from being a bit more "obsessed" to just enjoying listening to some of her songs. It's not that I'm any less of a fan, more just I like a lot of other singers and bands too, so go through phases were I listen to them more.

When it comes to Ayu, it's her releases I anticipate the most. The wait for her newest album to be delivered always seems quite a long one, especially when I'm reading everyone's thoughts on it on here! I always enjoy sitting down to watch her newest PVs. (I tend to avoid listening to any of her singles or watching their PVs until I have the album in my hands)

I think Ayu is (almost) the whole package for me - OK her vocals might not always be perfect and a lot of her magazine covers are photoshopped (unecessarily) to an inch of their lives, but her music and music videos are amazing. Now that Hikaru's videos are going downhill, Ayu's are the ones I look forward to the most.

I think she has also become a bigger presence in my life thanks to things like Twitter. There will always be a tweet on my feed when I check it everyday - OK unless it's in English I won't understand it but I like looking at the latest pictures. It's also nice to see how much she acknowledges overseas fans, going as far as asking them too meet her when she's in LA, London etc and then asking for them to tweet her the pictures. It's not like she's going to launch her career in the West, so she really doesn't have to bother tweeting fans in English etc.

I'm not one for lyrics generally, otherwise I wouldn't be listening to songs in a foreign language! They just tend to bypass me in songs, though I am getting better at listening to them sometimes. I like quite a few of Ayu's (see my signature) so I enjoy looking at the translations and they can be quite comforting at times.

Then there's also the music obviously! I like how she has a mix of genres. Uplifting yet nostalgic like Fairyland, ethereal like Ever Free, rock songs, ballads, pop songs. And the interludes. I like how Ayu has her "staples" like her interludes, her adlibs etc.

^This is turning into a "Why I love Ayumi" response. I think the main reason that she means a lot is that she is constant in my life through her releases and presence on Twitter.

mi|kshake~

[jewelbox]

I became her fan during the MY STORY era. First songs I've ever heard from her were Dearest, UNITE! etc. those classic songs. I ,also, discovered her by accident with my friend. We were constantly searching for japanese pop music during those times and when we discovered her music, we started download her stuff like maniacs.

When I first became to love her, she didn't mean that much to me. Of course I adored her songs, I adored her appearance and such, but back then my mind was more occupied on other things besides music.

Some years went by and I really started to buy her music. I read her translated lyrics, and felt so much connection in them, to my own life. I seriously haven't felt like that with other artists than her. She had unique effect on me which made me stronger in life. She was always something I looked up to, somekind of a muse, like others here have stated. Lyris of LOVEppears speak to me even now. They are something haunting, beautiful, something I could have wrote by myself.

When GUILTY came out, I backed out and again I wasn't that much interested in her. I discovered new bands, new stuff and there were new people in my life. Those people probably wouldn't understand my fascination towards Ayu, so I really didn't talk or think about her music.
And when NEXT LEVEL came out, I seriously became obsessed. I really love that album, it made me appreciate her music again. I collected all of her albums, read all of her lyrics etc.

Love for Ayu is something that will never fade out from my life. She's been my inspiration for all these years, when everything seemed hopeless - she was there, and when everything was full of joy and happiness - she was there. And she still is there, in my life.

Some of her albums helped me in the process of defining who I am, as a person. No matter what will happen I'll never forget that I wouldn't be the same ,as I am today, without her music.

[C+R+E+AYUMI]

During my teenage, I've grown with her, she's been inspirational, a model, a shoulder to cry..Her lyrics made me feel I wasn't alone in my sorrow. This lasted up to my early 20s.
And I'm grEatful to her cause I've found this community

Now I'm a grown woman, I cherish a wonderful memory, I still listen to her songs as my first choice but I'm moving forward.

[PoetGirl]

everything. we already had similar thread like this before and I was writing novels about it. to put it short,

she's like an idol to me and companion through life, it just happens when someone's music follows you through many years. at first it was like fairyland, new music, new language, an actual pop star who's more than just an image, haunting melodies, powerful lyrics and more importantly not one bad album. you can say what you wanna say but for me secret was the weakest one I heard by ayu and still secret>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.eve ryone else and their mommas.

I dont know how she does it, but whenever I try to take a break of Ayu and give a chance to other artists I always come back, her music is honestly like a drug. I think its mostly cause of her voice. I feel like a weirdo when Im on vacation and have a strong wish just to hear her voice. I dont miss music, I miss her music. its so weird. now she's the woman I aspire to be, she's like britney to me, a huge powerful idol, one of the most known ones on this planet but you can hear and see her human side. its really sweet, and I cant help but feel close to her. I believe everything she says, I feel our connection, while with other artists Im like 'oh there they go, money haunt ' lol

[AyuTan]

I was super crazy about her in 8th and 9th grade. Although, after NEXT LEVEL, I kinda stopped 'obsessing'.

I still love her to death, though.

Although, nothing will ever replace that spot she has in my heart. She help grow up and mature in so many ways, she is the one who rescued me <3

[Delirium-Zer0]

Originally Posted by C+R+E+AYUMI

Now I'm a grown woman, I cherish a wonderful memory, I still listen to her songs as my first choice but I'm moving forward.

It's interesting that you say this...

Physically, I'm certainly a grown woman, being 28. I certainly have a good deal of life experience, too, being a single mom.

But I still feel like I'm looking for my place in life, you know? I still feel like a lost little girl in so many ways, which is why I might still be so into Ayu. My career hasn't gotten started, I'm not done with school, I still spend more time looking at other people's accomplishments, and WISHING I was them, than I spend actually accomplishing anything myself.

Ayu says she got started singing because "ibasho ga hoshikatta." During her performance of "NEXT LEVEL" at AT09, I felt like... you know, she officially realized she found her "ibasho" and I just cried. Cuz at that moment, for the first time in YEARS, I RREEEEAAALLLLYY wanted to be her again. Man, that one moment made my fandom for her kick-start all over again. Put her right back up on the pedestal after a few years of "She's pretty awesome" but no more intense feelings than that. In late '07 I even had a "why do I like ayu so much!?!" identity crisis, lol. I'm not into fashion, her music had stagnated, her videos weren't as good as they had been, she danced to "until that Day..." in concert (which seriously greatly upset me x_x). So I was kinda "eh" over her for a bit. But man, that "NEXT LEVEL" performance...

I just want to get to that point. I want to feel like a grown-up the way she finally seems to now, you know? I want to feel like I've accomplished something, that I know my place in the world relative to everyone else. Ayu's music & career are very encouraging in that way - it took her awhile but she figured it out. She knows her life's purpose and I have so much respect for that.

[C+R+E+AYUMI]

First, I didn't know you were a single mom Deli and you have all my respect. I'm the daughter of a single mom and I know how hard it is more than sometimes.
About what I've written, i think we're more similar than what we thought.
my career hasn't started, I had helath problems which still last, when I was younger my family was so modest I had to pay college on my own ending up quitting it..Now I wanted to restart again, now that all the conditions were settled and now what? I'll probably loose my job for company's failure.
I've been looking for my place for all my life, I've been searching for the moment when I can feel I'm complete, the moment where I achieved what I always tried to..but this never comes.
I've always looked at Ayu as model for what she achieved and my addiction to her kept on growing continuosuly..but aiming to reach what she'd reached made me just feel worse in end because I've realized I would never live a similar life and I cannot keep on accumulating all these expectations. I just need to live my life for what it is not watching at other people's goals otherwise it could be the end for me.
That's why I moved forward.

Girl, again, you've my esteem.