Thoughts regarding Ayu and physical beauty.

[HiruNoKaze]

About a half hour ago, I finally got around to watching the HDTV versions of a few of her live performances. The Oct. 7th 2005 performance of HEAVEN acoustic version made an impression on my mind in particular. Because the resolution is just so damn high (I still can't get over the fact that DVD's aren't the best quality possible), when the camera zooms in for the close-up, it's almost as if you're really there staring right at her face. You can nearly see everything, unadulterated by pixels or scanlines.

Now, even watching all her other videos in nonHD, you can spot a blemish now and then, so I've pondered along similar lines before, but not as much as I do now. The realization is especially striking, isn't it? On top of that, the fact that I was taken slightly aback disturbed me. It was a sign that she's human. Like many things, it was obvious after the realization. Of course she's human, and that means that the entire surface of her skin can't be perfect. But in nearly every picture and video, doesn't she look ideal? The pictures are all edited, and the video is usually just fuzzy enough. It worried me that I was surprised. How well do we know her?

Have you ever daydreamed about how you would like to meet Ayu if you could? I'd meet her in a little cozy coffee house and get to know her one-on-one. I wonder if the person I'd meet would be the person I thought I could know. Numbed by all the magazine shoots, would I question whether it's really her if I saw her face-to-face? What if all the reasons why I love her aren't really there, and they all come crashing down the moment we meet? It's a scary thought. At least we have a decent amount of proof on video that she's really there, and that she's sincere. I wonder if an idol and a fan can ever truly meet, standing on the same ground.

That took me to another thought. We're all getting older, aren't we? Eventually, age will keep her from doing all the things she does now. To me, it feels as if she'll be this way forever; it's partly true that young people can feel that things will be the same and that they won't ever die. When what we regard as physical beauty wanes in her, will she slowly fade away, becoming one of those icons of an age long past? One of those people we comment briefly on in our historical accounts... I know that a big part of our love is for her true voice. As a poet, I love how she conveys emotion. I wholeheartedly hope that people will always remember her voice, as long as she is Ayu.

All this just makes me want to get to know her better.

[Daking]

I never really got into Ayu because of her looks, and i'm sure with most people it was her music. Physically i think the only things that stand out for me are her eyes and her hair, as long as she doesn't look like an ogre i'm happy, and even if she did look like an ogre i can enjoy her music much the same. Those are just my 2 cents about her looks.

[Mad_Cactuar]

Originally Posted by Daking

To me, it feels as if she'll be this way forever; it's partly true that young people can feel that things will be the same and that they won't ever die. When what we regard as physical beauty wanes in her, will she slowly fade away, becoming one of those icons of an age long past?

I've always thought about that. I think she might still be famous, but I just can't imagine her being old. I never want her to grow old, just stay beautiful forever. I like her because she's pretty and her music is great, not because of her voice. So if her looks are gone, then...

[HiruNoKaze]

Actually, when I said voice, I meant both literally and figuratively. I've actually grown to really like the sound quality of her voice. But I'm really amazed by the voice speaking through some of her lyrics.

[truehappiness]

Actually, the beauty and idolness is just a plus. I'm in it for the music.

And sometimes the pretty pictures. xD

She's got quite a voice inside, but it seems she's said a lot of what she's wanted to say.. :]

[HiruNoKaze]

I believe that you can't run out of things to say. People walk out into the world and experience new things everyday...as long as you take the time to notice, I think the ideas keep coming as long as you welcome them.

[truehappiness]

Well, it's not that she's run out of things to say.. it's just she's said a lot of what's REALLY important to her. :>

And from some of those lyrics, we got the best songs evar. I just wonder if there're still some of those emotions left.. since she's on a crazy happiness streak right now xD

[HiruNoKaze]

lol well her happiness streak has made me start liking the whole idea of summer = happiness

In elementary school when they'd ask you what's your favorite season, I'd always say winter cause you can only pick between winter and summer (vacations!) and you don't get up all sweaty in the morning...ick lol.

[Zacek]

A very good thought, HiruNoKaze, I didn't finished reading your post because I wanted to see the HD performance. You are right, it looks like if you are right there, in front of there. When she looks at the camera in a zoom, you can feel that she is looking at you. It looks so vibrant and real... but yes, you can see that she's not perfect. But she never pretended that. From all her videos, concerts, perfomances, she never had that intention, at least, that's what I understand. I can see all her imperfections, her wrinkles, her hair... the spots in her neck and cheek... but above all things, I love her because she transmits something that I can't describe with words. She moves me, she wakes me, she makes me feel something warm inside of me. That's all what it counts to me.

[Daking]

i actually find that i don't really like to watch ayu's DVD's more than once, i don't really need to see ayu to actually appreciate her. I like listening to her songs when i'm surfing the net or playing video games or whatever, its a nice thing.

[emi♡]

For me, it's hard to see any celebrity get old.
And now, I see Ayu, and now you can see the lines around her mouth...even when I was watching beautiful fighters i thought...man...she's getting older isn't she.
I think that when you're used to seeing people everyday in pictures or on TV in movies and they always look so perfect, it's difficult to imagine them old. for me, it's people like Ayu, Bruce Willis, Tom Hanks, Isabella Rosselini....even Meryl Streep! I watched a movie about the Holocaust she was in...and it was a shock to see her so young, she was really beautiful.

With Ayu, it will always be about the music, about how everythings so emotional...sometimes they are just so powerful...it's amazing that any one person, and you barely even understand what she's saying, could convey such power through a song.
And I think that, it's something that truly makes Ayu unique, why we all love her so much...and why there will never be anyone else who can beat her. I think its the people who can find the true emotions in her music that are her true fans sometimes, because they aren't just following hype.

[immel]

Originally Posted by Zacek

It looks so vibrant and real... but yes, you can see that she's not perfect. But she never pretended that. From all her videos, concerts, perfomances, she never had that intention, at least, that's what I understand. I can see all her imperfections, her wrinkles, her hair... the spots in her neck and cheek... but above all things, I love her because she transmits something that I can't describe with words. She moves me, she wakes me, she makes me feel something warm inside of me. That's all what it counts to me.

Thanks for speaking my thoughts, I have a hard time finding words aswell .

I got into Ayu because of her music. I more or less didn't know what she looked like when I listened to her the first time. And it took me some time before I started watching TV performances of concerts. What really captured me is the strength of the emotions she, with all of her heart, puts into her music.

I've watched most of her HD performances and I've never been bothered by the things you mentioned HiruNoKaze. I think she is incredibly, inhumanly, beautiful. I'm not attracted to her, she is just a beauty goddess. Noticing the flaws makes her even more beautiful. To me it's not only her looks that make her beautiful, it's her whole being, everything that she is.

[PickleCookies]

You're a good writer, HiruNoKaze. Keep it up.

[immel]

Originally Posted by PickleCookies

You're a good writer, HiruNoKaze. Keep it up.

Very true, I agree.

It was indeed enjoyable reading and the way you concluded it with your own thoughts about age, something worth to think about.

[Qt Mashi]

Originally Posted by emikotogawa

For me, it's hard to see any celebrity get old.
And now, I see Ayu, and now you can see the lines around her mouth...even when I was watching beautiful fighters i thought...man...she's getting older isn't she.

yeah i can really see her getting older since the A Song for XX days, well that's just natural

[HiruNoKaze]

Gee, thanks guys . I agree with you, immel, when you say that she is so much more than physical beauty. That is obvious from the interviews we treasure. I also find that my emotional attachment to her far outweighs my physical attraction to her. However, do you think perhaps it is dangerous to raise her above humanity? I like to think of her as a beautiful example of a human being, someone I would be honored to meet.

I've known about her for a long time, and my first exposure to her was through the opening to the old playstation game, Thousand Arms, in which Depend on You is the background music. I'd tried out some of her music, even SEASONS, M, and Surreal, now some of my favorite pieces, but at the time they didn't seem very special to me at all. I preferred Akino Arai and Maaya Sakamoto and their generally softer, more contemplative music at the time. Two things led me to Ayu. #1, years later (meaning the beginning of this year), I found a site with PVs up for download, and she was the only artist I knew for which they had a decent number of PVs. #2, a college friend was listening to A Song for XX as I walked in. Before then, I'd never liked the song. Well, he spoke of it so highly, and apparently so many people liked it, that I had to understand why. Listening to her music, I became a happier person in difficult times, my self-esteem went up, and I felt truly Independent, maybe for the first time. No other music has done so much for me. That's why I support her.

[korppinainen]

I'm curious how long will Ayu keep singing... till her '40s? longer? Will her fans stay loyal to her music for so long? It's kinda weird to think about it now, when she's still so young

[immel]

Originally Posted by HiruNoKaze

However, do you think perhaps it is dangerous to raise her above humanity? I like to think of her as a beautiful example of a human being, someone I would be honored to meet.

I agree with you. I see that what I said can be mistaken a bit, I did not mean like a goddess literally. I'm not religious an I do not belive in higher powers, I picked the word carelessly. I only wanted to express myself with more strength.

Something that probably effected my choice of words is that a common comment from people who see her for the first time, from my experiance, is "is she for real?" or "is she human?".

Listening to her music, I became a happier person in difficult times, my self-esteem went up, and I felt truly Independent, maybe for the first time. No other music has done so much for me. That's why I support her.

It sounds like you are talking about me .

[HiruNoKaze]

lol I'm not religious either. I wrote a poem in poetry class that could be interpreted as anti-God if you didn't understand the point, and some people were like...the guy in the poem is...is...blasphemous!

Sometimes she can seem as if she can't be real, I agree... But I like it when she shows how human she is .

[immel]

Originally Posted by HiruNoKaze

But I like it when she shows how human she is .

Yes ! That is how I feel aswell.