Lets vent about ayu?/why did your fandom decrease

[Coelacanth]

People on forums these days rarely get analytical about why they enjoy or detest something, it's simply a bunch of feels scattered across the page. The influence of social media has infiltrated fan forums too, where people think that their opinions are not only valid, but meaningful simply because it's THEIR opinion and they have the right to express it. Everyone's a critic now. But that's a discussion getting way off topic, lol.

I like that Ayu seems to be at peace at this point in her life and her career. I see her as a kindred spirit, since I believe I'm most at peace with myself than I've ever been. I've become more honest with myself. I accept my strengths and weaknesses as they are. No need for pretenses.

Ayu probably never intended to set the bar so high for herself. She never really wanted to be a musician or a performer, and I think her discomfort with her new "duty" was reflected brilliantly in the album "Duty."

I used to be a 'bitter' fan like many in the fandom now, especially during the "GUILTY" era. But I seem to be calming down with age. I've been following her closely for 11 years now and honestly I'm just grateful she's still making music (My other fave since childhood, Michael Jackson, is DEAD. so...) I accept that my interest in her will wax and wane, as it typically does. She might make a 'dud' song now and then (even though I don't think she's ever released anything so poor quality that it offended me—perhaps Dream ON), but even if I don't like a song when it first comes out, I tend to appreciate it down the road. That's usually how it is. I like to approach Ayu's work from many angles and discover how one song might fit into the 'big picture' of Ayumi Hamasaki. For instance, I used to not care for the song NEXT LEVEL at all because I felt the song lacked a climax and the melody didn't resolve, but when I revisited AT09 and read the lyrics, the imagery and emotions suddenly spoke to me, and I could understand exactly what Ayu was trying to communicate at the time, even though I couldn't before.