[TeamAyu] She just got married.. again.

[orangeakira]

so does that mean that by a woman taking her husband's last name, it's de-feminizing?

[SilverOwl]

Look, I'm sorry my comments did course upset, reading them back I can see they could be misunderstood, I think there is a generation gap too. That's my last word. I think on this forum you have to be carful what you say, but I don't really post so..

[Chibi-Chan]

Originally Posted by SilverOwl

But I can't see what I wrote wrong, maybe I worded it badly, I don't know but I can't be bothered with being attacked, I don't come onto forums for that and I don't want to be part of it.

Just one thing, Chibi Chan, how old are you? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, it's just, I think there may be a generation gap in our opinions that has made it difficult to understand each other.

But, I do want to point out, that no matter what you say, I was NOT insulting Ayu, her hubby or calling them anything.

Maybe you didn't wanted to make a sexist comment, maybe you just wanted to say what emi and happyholic said, but in the end it only matters what you actually wrote. And you were not only insulting Ayu and her hubby, you were insulting every couple that decides that he adopts her last name. Like I said, maybe it wasn't your intention to do that, but you did. I'm 23 and by asking me that I'm assuming you're a little older, but if you're not in your 50s I don't think there can be a generation gap which makes it difficult to understand each other. So if you're a real adult don't try to whitewash what you wrote. Just say sorry, explain what you actually wanted to say but stop denying what you wrote before.


Edit:

Originally Posted by SilverOwl

Look, I'm sorry my comments did course upset, reading them back I can see they could be misunderstood, I think there is a generation gap too. That's my last word. I think on this forum you have to be carful what you say, but I don't really post so..

I see you edited your last post and already did what I wanted to suggest to you.

So I think it's ok and I don't want to hold this against you anymore. Thanks for your excuse and I'm no longer pissed about your comment.
Just be more careful in the future because in a forum where you don't know each other and can't see any mimic or gestures you just have what people actually write.

[SilverOwl]

Originally Posted by Chibi-Chan

Maybe you didn't wanted to make a sexist comment, maybe you just wanted to say what emi and happyholic said, but in the end it only matters what you actually wrote. And you were not only insulting Ayu and her hubby, you were insulting every couple that decides that he adopts her last name. Like I said, maybe it wasn't your intention to do that, but you did. I'm 23 and by asking me that I'm assuming you're a little older, but if you're not in your 50s I don't think there can be a generation gap which makes it difficult to understand each other. So if you're a real adult don't try to whitewash what you wrote. Just say sorry, explain what you actually wanted to say but stop denying what you wrote before.

I'm not whitewashing, I get anxious when there are arguments. All I really wanted to say was that I would find it uncomfortable if it was my husband but you know in families where there are no boys to carry on the line the man sometimes takes the wife's name or double barrels it so I guess its the same thing.

^^I'm glad there are no more arguments, maybe I can still come back and check Ayu's news, maybe. I have trouble talking to people, which is why I post very little and if there are arguments or negativity, I usually run off, maybe this is good for me LOL

Yea, there is an age gap but not that big. I'm not sexist but old fashioned a little, maybe that's not a good thing. I can tell you have very strong views on sexism and that's a good thing, you made me rethink and I'm stubborn.

Take care

[Chibi-Chan]

Originally Posted by SilverOwl

I'm not whitewashing, I get anxious when there are arguments. All I really wanted to say was that I would find it uncomfortable if it was my husband but you know in families where there are no boys to carry on the line the man sometimes takes the wife's name or double barrels it so I guess its the same thing.

^^I'm glad there are no more arguments, maybe I can still come back and check Ayu's news, maybe. I have trouble talking to people, which is why I post very little and if there are arguments or negativity, I usually run off, maybe this is good for me LOL

I got that you just wanted to say what emi and happyholic said and that's ok for me. If you wouldn't want your husband to adopt your last name that's alone your decision and even if I think it's somehow sexist I have no right to tell you to want something else. It was just the generalizing wording I didn't liked.

I don't know you as a person, so I wasn't able to now your personality and that your reaction to a strong negative comment about one of your comments makes you feel so uncomfortable. Even if I still think my comment was justified because it's important to speak up against sexism I'm sorry that it made you feel anxious!
And of course feel free to come back to ahs! One argument shouldn't stop you from being here. =)

Originally Posted by SilverOwl

Yea, there is an age gap but not that big. I'm not sexist but old fashioned a little, maybe that's not a good thing. I can tell you have very strong views on sexism and that's a good thing, you made me rethink and I'm stubborn.

Awww, that's sweet of you, thanks! ^.^


Edit: I have a feeling that this whole conversation will be deleted by the mods. I wanted to ask you guys not to delet it. Because I think it's a great example that people are able to argue and to be pissed but to get along in the end. I think both SilverOwl and me are feeling better now about this issue and will be able to be more nice to each other in the future - what wouldn't be possible without that argument. So, of course it's the decision of you guys if you delet it or not, but I will love you if you don't.

[koumori]

Originally Posted by Chibi-Chan

Edit: I have a feeling that this whole conversation will be deleted by the mods. I wanted to ask you guys not to delet it. Because I think it's a great example that people are able to argue and to be pissed but to get along in the end. I think both SilverOwl and me are feeling better now about this issue and will be able to be more nice to each other in the future - what wouldn't be possible without that argument. So, of course it's the decision of you guys if you delet it or not, but I will love you if you don't.

Haha, you caught me. I was reading this and getting a little anxious, if people were reading through and decided to jump in even when it's done. I do think it's a good example of a discussion ending well so I'll leave it in, but this is a polite request for everyone to not continue it or else it will have to be removed for being OT and drama-baiting...the usual shit.

[orangeakira]

This thread got so deep.

[maneayu]

this is going off topic!! I suggest you guys go to the general forum, and open a new thread to discuss about sexism and etc... peace n love, please!! <3

[Chibi-Chan]

Originally Posted by maneayu

this is going off topic!! I suggest you guys go to the general forum, and open a new thread to discuss about sexism and etc... peace n love, please!! <3

You're right, sorry. But the discussion is over now.

[ayu-fan]

Her husband looks a nice person (at least based on his face lol) but who knows! Wish ayu the best in her life!!

Is she live in LA now?

[ayu_ready?]

she's like 70% in LA and 30% in Japan now, right?

[sitara]

I wouldn't judge his whole personality on a silly video that is very obviously an over the top parody.
There is not much footage to form an opinion about him at all, so cut him some slack!
At least he is not taking himself too seriously

[Earth_maiden]

I don't care what her hubby looks like, or what her past men have looked like. I must be one of the minority that actually cares about Ayu's happiness...

[ayu_ready?]

I think this husband is okay for Ayu unless he has nude photobooks or eats grass

[NintendoHTF1242]

Originally Posted by ayu_ready?

I think this husband is okay for Ayu unless he has nude photobooks or eats grass

lmfaooooooo

[maneayu]

^ Imo he is just jealous of the "Mannie" privacy contract that he didn't get...

"If they didn't pay me millions of millions of yen like Mannie, I'll talk rubish about you in every single chance I have".

[Andrenekoi]

^Considering Ayu and Mannie still interact on social media from times to times, I would say he didn't say anything about their relationship out of respect.

But of course, everyone that goes too close from poor Ayu is an evil person with an evil plot to do evil stuff to her, so...

[happiholic★]

Was the Mannie Privacy Act ever proven to be factual? Because, honestly, even if the break up was bitter, which it could be seen that way, as Andrenekoi said, they seem to now be okay. I can't image him flapping his gums about it now.

[Andrenekoi]

^It was far easier for them to do something like that with Maro who was in the same country and already worked for her, than it was with Mannie.