TA Blog: 春よ、来い。| Haru yo koi

[Chibi-Chan]

^^it's what she said, this has nothing to do with "shitting over her work". She specifically refers to her entire work, like covers, music videos and songs. This has nothing to do with not releasing as much. She talks about how Shimoko said on social media how she (Ayu) was putting her everything into this work (Haru yo, koi) and that she felt the same way. Then she goes on about how she was putting her everything into her covers, her songs, her videos and how this time, when recreating Haru yo, koi, it wasn't important if she had fun doing what she was doing but that she felt she was putting her soul into it. She then asks, and this is important, "after finishing this work, I immediately wondered how many years it has been that I was that focused, exhausted, concentrated and possessed by something". Then she continues, saying that she sadly had forgotten that feeling, but that frankly speaking, she really woke up. She finishes that paragraph with "私は ね。" (this is me, right?), which touched me the most about that entry. Also, she says no matter how Haru yo, koi will turn out, she has to return to this Hamasaki Ayumi.
So yes, she talks about how she was not putting her everything into her work during the last few years. And honestly, I respect her a lot for saying this. She is not perfect and her work neither. If she had some years when her priorities shifted and she felt "having fun" was more important, that's fine. She indirectly says that having fun with her work was more important to her for some time than the dedication for the entire outcome of a project like she used to have in the past. But working on a song that important brought back for her how it felt to dedicate herself to her work and that this is Hamasaki Ayumi and she needs to return to that Ayu and won't stop. It's a very brave thing to admit that and if anything, I love her even more for this.

[koumori]

I want to say that regardless of how you interpret her words, it's still okay to be a fan of the work she has done in the last few years. Those are moments that she was having fun with, or expressing herself in the most honest way she could, finding those moments of freedom and happiness in what has seemed to be a long time of strife and hardship personally behind the scenes. I don't look at the long gap between music releases and think she was just having fun, I see it as Ayu struggling to connect with "Ayumi Hamasaki", and the few pieces of music we have had (in comparison to her typical release schedule) are even more remarkable to me in retrospect, in acknowledging how hard it has likely been to write and record things in that sort of headspace.

It doesn't mean I don't agree that there was definitely a shift... but she's human. I don't think she could help it. She needed this time to do whatever she needed to do.

For anyone who has been just as much a fan for years (whether you were enjoying all of her output or not), you have still been supporting the same Ayu. Here it is Ayu finding that she has refound a spark that she had lost, but it doesn't mean her recent work is any less special. It was just Ayu coping in a different way and this marks a new era.

That's my interpretation, and I'm sure there will be many more that people will have. Everyone here is such an invested fan that they come back after all these years, and still care for her well-being most of all. Let's try to remember that even if we may have different opinions on her work, past or present.

[primavera♥]

Originally Posted by koumori

I want to say that regardless of how you interpret her words, it's still okay to be a fan of the work she has done in the last few years. Those are moments that she was having fun with, or expressing herself in the most honest way she could, finding those moments of freedom and happiness in what has seemed to be a long time of strife and hardship personally behind the scenes. I don't look at the long gap between music releases and think she was just having fun, I see it as Ayu struggling to connect with "Ayumi Hamasaki", and the few pieces of music we have had (in comparison to her typical release schedule) are even more remarkable to me in retrospect, in acknowledging how hard it has likely been to write and record things in that sort of headspace.

It doesn't mean I don't agree that there was definitely a shift... but she's human. I don't think she could help it. She needed this time to do whatever she needed to do.

For anyone who has been just as much a fan for years (whether you were enjoying all of her output or not), you have still been supporting the same Ayu. Here it is Ayu finding that she has refound a spark that she had lost, but it doesn't mean her recent work is any less special. It was just Ayu coping in a different way and this marks a new era.

That's my interpretation, and I'm sure there will be many more that people will have. Everyone here is such an invested fan that they come back after all these years, and still care for her well-being most of all. Let's try to remember that even if we may have different opinions on her work, past or present.

I feel this. Thank you for sharing. I feel like there is a lot of nuance with ayu (her life and career), but it can be a lot to articulate at times. I'm glad she shared this, as it's not often we get her honest thoughts in this way. I'm looking forward to seeing where she goes.