[romaji & translation] blossom - Page 2 - Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai
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  #1  
Old 16th July 2010, 01:54 AM
Mitkki Mitkki is offline
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Thanks for your efforts as always.
Just a few comments with my preferences.

Quote:
Originally Posted by masa View Post
Actually, you had long been crying in your heart, hadn't you?
But you were hiding it, that's what you haven't changed in
I feel that 'have' would be more appropriate than 'had' in this case. 'Had' is usually used in conjunction with another clause and emphasizes the termination of a prior clause; eg. I had been crying, but I stopped.
I'd prefer something like: Within your heart, you've actually been crying for a while haven't you? But you were hiding it. That part of you hasn't changed.

Quote:
We always knew, we have never had a day where we forgot.
'We always knew that we've never had a day we forgot' seems more natural for me. Though I would prefer something like: We always knew there hasn't been a day we've forgotten.

Quote:
I know painfully, your feelings are reaching me without change
Because our promise that we would share everything is not a lie at all
'I know (painfully)/(to a painful extent) that your feelings are reaching me unchanged, because our promise to share everything isn't a lie at all' would be my preference.
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  #2  
Old 16th July 2010, 02:17 AM
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thank u masa! this line just stuck to me, it's so beautiful..

"Just as we have protected the naturally-colored flower petals together
We will gently see them through together until the last one falls"
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  #3  
Old 16th July 2010, 03:57 AM
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GRACE - There doesn't HAVE to be a verb before "that". The "no" in Japanese after "chikatta" turns the phrase prior into a noun. To give you a few examples, please fill in blanks yourself into lines such as "His promise that _____ is _____" or "My promise that _____ will not _____". It's the same as "Our promise that _____ is _____". Japanese to English translation is already difficult in itself, and in that phrase the action of "promising" between the two people is more of the topic. Really though...this is only a translation on a forum and not some research paper on Japanese language translation.

"Because our promise is that we would share everything is not a lie at all" does not even make sense at all.
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Old 16th July 2010, 04:04 AM
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I love that last line. Thank you masa! =)
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Old 16th July 2010, 04:07 AM
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ignore me, I totally didn't see the "is" after "everything" until JUST now. So I'm wrong, sorry for the fighting LOL
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Old 16th July 2010, 05:08 PM
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I'm wondering in general, is this song supposed to be for a close friend? I'm trying to figure it out myself... Thanks to everyone for their input! X)
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Old 16th July 2010, 06:33 PM
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*sigh*... I just haven't gotten into these lyrics. They're rather generic to me.
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Old 16th July 2010, 07:30 PM
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thanks for the lyrics
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Old 17th July 2010, 09:21 AM
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thanks for your efforts masa, I never though blossom would have this kind of lyrics..
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  #10  
Old 17th July 2010, 02:56 PM
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Beautiful lyrics, really.

Thank you masa!!
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  #11  
Old 18th July 2010, 05:47 PM
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thx ^^
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  #12  
Old 19th July 2010, 10:51 AM
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You are welcome.
I made a slight change.

still in unfamiliar way --> still in a kind of unfamiliar way
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  #13  
Old 19th July 2010, 12:47 PM
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Beautiful lyrics, thank you. <3 I love the first chorus <3
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  #14  
Old 19th July 2010, 05:16 PM
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Thanks, masa!♥
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Old 20th July 2010, 04:24 PM
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thank u masa for ur effort in translating ayu's lyrics!!
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  #16  
Old 23rd July 2010, 10:52 AM
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thanks for the translation.^^
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  #17  
Old 25th July 2010, 03:25 AM
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thanks masa!
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  #18  
Old 26th July 2010, 05:32 PM
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I make a small change.

still in a kind of unfamiliar way --> still in a kind of awkward way
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  #19  
Old 26th July 2010, 05:37 PM
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I can see Masa's English isn't perfect, but translation's aren't about being perfect, they're about expressing the feelings Ayu wants to express and I think Masa always does a perfect job

I have your homepage bookmarked and always check it when I want to know her lyrics. Thanks for everything.
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浜崎 あゆみ, 浜崎あゆみ, blossom, hamasaki ayumi, masa

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