[08/01/05]TA ayu's writing No.205 えっと。。。

[~*Mabushii*~]

Oh Ayu.. dear dear strong Ayu..
We will be her ear and her voice when she needs us.. wont we?

[AyuHamasaki01]

Originally Posted by ~*Kisarune*~

Oh Ayu.. dear dear strong Ayu..
We will be her ear and her voice when she needs us.. wont we?

Yeah, she's so sweet...
But I can't sing

[Bad Wolf]

Originally Posted by truehappiness

I remember the thing about how she said that the fans are her ears and her voice when they aren't working too well for her.. SHE'S SO SWEET.

Ayu-chan ;____;

[babamon]

This is the translation i did at ayunite.. a very long translation.. took mi 30mins -_- my english isn't very good either... Translated directly from the chinese translation done by akane5749 + sara @ AC.. Hope u guys understand..

Rough translation:

Hmm..
There's a lot of replies coming from everyone.. and even till now it's still not stopping yet..
Hmm.. regarding that... yes..

No matter when i will always try my best, using my own language to express all my thoughts and feelings to everyone.. i guess everyone should be able to understand me.

Yea, this is how i believe it.
Therefore, i decided to write it.
This has been kept secret in my heart.. without even telling my family and staffs whom i love..

No. Strictly speaking it's not like this..
I had only told mama about this. (Her godmother)
Regarding the fact that my left ear had completely lost its function..

Wanted to go to the hospital because i truly felt some changes in my ears..
Although i kept telling those around me that it's due to some new changes in the earphone..
Honestly, when the doctor told me it's not treatable anymore,
that it's too late, my mind just went blank.

Funny that somewhere in my heart i thought that if i took some time out to do the operation, it will be cured.
But i was wrong.

I can still remember the firm look on the doctor's face..
A pitying, very sorry look.

Therefore, i laughed.
Even though i dunno why, but i continue to laugh.
I said this and i laughed.
I quietly returned to my ward, surrounded by my beloved staffs.
However, please do not view what i'm going to say next in a pessimistic way.

I had accepted the fact.
Furthermore i'm not feeling despaired, instead i saw the light of hope.
Hope everyone could understand.

Reason being, didn't all of u said u want to become my left ear?
Didn't everyone said that in order to let me hear it, you will cheer for me even louder?
Correct?
Thus, i have to more forward together with my right ear-san.
I'm not forcing myself.
Because to me that's a happy matter.

Please do not worry!!!!!!!!!!!

From today onwards i will continue to move forward like this~~~!!!!
Yes, let's move on together!!!!!
I want to show u the dream
it wouldn't end, wouldn't disappear..
I want you to have such a dream.
That is my wish.
Thanks everyone... all of u... all of u...
Thank you mama (godmother)
Thank you,
my most beloved sister (Note, should be referring to her recently passed away sister, Natsuki)

Let's walk together 10th anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[voltron]

Originally Posted by Ichigo1010

私はこの現実を受けとめた。
i've accepted the facts

そして、絶望なんてしていないし、希望の光がさしてる
and.. i do not felt frustrated. what i saw in front of me is the light of hope.
事を、どうか解って欲しい。
so i hope everyone will understand me.

何故なら、みんなが私の左耳になってくれるって
言ってくれたじゃない。
the reason is.. aren't you guys said you all wanted to be my left ear?

もっともっと聞こえるように、叫んでくれるって
言ってくれたじゃない。
and aren't you guys said you all will scream as loud as possible? to make me hear you all?

ね。

だから、私は残された右耳くんと共に、いくよ。
so from now on,, i'll keep on with my 'right ear' chan.
無理なんてしてない。
i'm not forcing myself
それが私にとっての幸せなの。
because it is part of my hapiness.

and she said please do not worry about her. she'll keep moving forward..

GAHAHAHA worst translation ever... X_X gomenasai~

To add the first part (REALLY rough translation, some parts I didn't quite get):
Because of the staggering amount of messages from everybody, I've come around once again.

Umm...Excuse me...well....
I am always, as well as I can, in my own words, plan on portraying my own frank feelings to everybody.
That is, I felt that everybody came to understand.

Um. So, I believe in that.
So, to write, huh.
I did not explain to my loved family members or staff, I only concealed. this matter in my heart.

No, strictly speaking, it's different.
I only told Mama (the Mika John thing).
I came to lose hearing in my left ear.

I thought I should go to the hospital, as I came to feel the accident to the reliability to my ear.
That is to fault the ear monitor, to somehow make a new one, the people around said.

Honestly, at the time when the hospital's sensei said it was too late to repair, my face turned pure white.

Speaking my mind and holding nothing back, somewhere in my core, as long as the time to have the correction, until I could here, why not I felt.

But, it was different.

I remember the sensei's eyes at that moment, even now.

Regretful and apologetic....

So, I smiled.

However without understanding, I smiled, yes! I smiled.
I surrounded myself with my loved staff, they fell silent in the hospital room.

But, this story, please I wish for you not to be pessimistic.

I've accepted the facts.

And...I do not feel frustrated. What I saw in front of me is the light of hope.
So I hope everyone will understand me.

The reason is...you guys said you all wanted to be my left ear?
And didn't you all say you will scream as loud as possible to make me hear you all?

So from now on, I'll keep on with my 'right ear' chan.
I'm not forcing myself, because it is part of my happiness.
---------------------------------

Ok, the translation posted just before this makes a lot more sense, and is more complete.

[Raleigh]

Thanks for the translation

[AyuHamasaki01]

Originally Posted by babamon

This is the translation i did at ayunite.. a very long translation.. took mi 30mins -_- my english isn't very good either... Translated directly from the chinese translation done by akane5749 + sara @ AC.. Hope u guys understand..

Rough translation:

Hmm..
There's a lot of replies coming from everyone.. and even till now it's still not stopping yet..
Hmm.. regarding that... yes..

No matter when i will always try my best, using my own language to express all my thoughts and feelings to everyone.. i guess everyone should be able to understand me.

Yea, this is how i believe it.
Therefore, i decided to write it.
This has been kept secret in my heart.. without even telling my family and staffs whom i love..

No. Strictly speaking it's not like this..
I had only told mama about this. (Her godmother)
Regarding the fact that my left ear had completely lost its function..

Wanted to go to the hospital because i truly felt some changes in my ears..
Although i kept telling those around me that it's due to some new changes in the earphone..
Honestly, when the doctor told me it's not treatable anymore,
that it's too late, my mind just became blank.

Funny that somewhere in my heart i thought that if i took out some time out to do the operation, it will be cured.
But i was wrong.

I can still remember the firm look of the doctor..
A pitying, sorry look.

Therefore, i laughed.
Even though i dunno why, but i continue to laugh.
I said this and i laughed.
I quietly returned to my ward, surrounded by my beloved staffs.
However, please do not view what i'm going to say next in a pessimistic way.

I had accepted the fact.
Furthermore i'm not feeling despaired, instead i saw the light of hope.
Hope everyone could understand.

Reason being, didn't all of u said u want to become my left ear?
Didn't everyone said that in order to let me hear it, you will cheer for me even louder?
Correct?
Thus, i have to more forward together with my right ear-san.
I'm not forcing myself.
Because to me that's a happy matter.

Pleae do not worry!!!!!!!!!!!

From today onwards i will continue to move forward like this~~~!!!!
Yes, let's move on together!!!!!
I want to show u the dream
it wouldn't end, wouldn't disappear..
I want you to have such a dream.
That is my wish.
Thanks everyone... all of u... all of u...
Thank you mama (godmother)
Thank you,
my most beloved sister (Note, should be referring to her recently passed away sister, Natsuki)

Let's walk together 10th anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, that's emotional...
I hope Ayu won't give up her carreer! Cuz she's MY ALL! Ayu we love you!

[minkAYuko]

Thank you babamon I really wanted to cry when I started to read this: "Reason being, didn't all of u said u want to become my left ear?..."

u_u

[~*Mabushii*~]

thank you for the translation we could understand.. you did well in your english!

[truehappiness]

Ayu still remembers stuff from 3 years ago, it seems.

masa posted this:

　The other is about the Dome Tour. I was surprised to know it had been only two hours before the concert that she fell from the stage, as I had thought it would have been earlier than that. But what was more shocking was that her left ear had caused hearing impairment in the middle of the rehearsal. She held the concert in spite of those troubles after all, and after the Dome Tour, she lost her hearing in the left ear almost completely. (What a painful story !) -- Then how is it going now? On the day after the TV program, she wrote on the BBS of Team Ayu as below.
　Honestly speaking, I'm not in a negative mood regarding this matter. Because all of you listen to my song in place of my left ear, don't you?　　(Team Ayu BBS April 13, 2004)
　This is an indirect expression. But if we interprete this most naturally, it will be that it's impossible (or almost impossible) for her to hear in the left ear now. What impressions did you have after knowing these new facts?

It seems that he has guessed correctly.

[ownsarai]

^Thank you babamon for the translation.
I am sad to know that there is nothing that can be done about her left ear-san...but I am happy that Ayu has such a positive attitude on the matter. This is why I love Ayu so much. I will definitely be Ayu's ears and her voice~! Walk Proud Ayu-chan~

[babamon]

Ichigo.. i just edited the translation a little.. a few mistakes here and there.. hopefully u can update the latest one ^^;; sry.. busy translating den didn't realise some of the mistakes i made >_<

[Teyla]

Thanks for translation!

[Beauty4123]

wow, i feel so sad for ayu. i hope she stays strong. it's sad to see her like this.

[weix2]

it has been really heartbreaking to know about this...

i don't know what to say but all the best for you, ayu =/

[Ichigo1010]

Originally Posted by babamon

Ichigo.. i just edited the translation a little.. a few mistakes here and there.. hopefully u can update the latest one ^^;; sry.. busy translating den didn't realise some of the mistakes i made >_<

no one will blame you for that.. hehe =P anyway i updated the latest one..
thanks for yr translation once again..

[ayu_ready?]

OMG!

I love Ayumi Hamasaki. FOREVER. AMEN

[ExodusUK]

Thank you for the translation and thank you to Ayu being so brave.

[HiruNoKaze]

Here's my translation:
--------------------
Umm...
No.205 January 5th, 2008 (Saturday) 1:13am

The volume of messages from you all is amazing, I decided to post again.

"Mhmm" ... "Hey," ... "Yea..."

I have always, as much as I can, meant to keep honestly conveying my own feelings with my own words. I think you all definitely understand this.

Yes...right, I believe.
That's why...I write.
I write things I keep only in my heart, not even telling my beloved family members nor my staff.

Actually, no...strictly speaking, that's not true.
I only told Mama (I mean Mika John).
That my left ear cannot hear anymore.

I thought of going to the hospital because I felt distinctly that something strange happened to my ear.
I thought it was the earphone monitors and told the people around me I wanted to switch to new ones.

Honestly, when the doctor told me that there is no treatment and that it's too late, my mind went blank.
In my heart somewhere, I sincerely felt that if I just make the time necessary for surgery, my ear would be able to hear again.

But I was wrong.

I remember the doctor's eyes even now.
They looked regretful and apologetic.

So, I laughed.

I didn't know why, but I said "I thought so", and laughed.
Surrounded by my beloved staff inside the hospital room, everything returned to silence.

But, please, I don't want you to read this with pessimism.

I have accepted this reality.

And, I want you to understand somehow that I'm not despairing, but that the light of my hopes shines forth.

Because, you've told me that you will become my left ear.
You've told me that, so that I'll be able to hear more and more, you'll shout out for me.

Hey...

So, with my remaining right ear, I'm gonna do this.
I'm not at all straining myself.
To me, it's my happiness.

Worrying is useless!!!!!!!!!!!

From here on, I'm going to keeping running forward like this~~~~~!!!
But, let's keep running together~~~~~~!!!!!!

I want to show you my dreams.
Unending, unfading.
I want to show you that kind of dream.
That is my wish.

Thank you, everyone, everyone, everyone...
Thank you, Mama.
Thank you,

My beloved big sister.

Let's do it, 10th year anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


edit:
following line updated
They were regretful...as if to say I'm sorry there's nothing we can do...

edit2:
many thanks to masa for:
They looked regretful and apologetic.
I didn't know why, but I said "I thought so", and laughed.

[Ichigo1010]

i just have to say that "IM PROUD TO BE AYUMI HAMASAKI'S FAN~!!
PROUD OF YOU AYUMI~!!!!!