ayu's DIARY entry 7/31/2009

[douggn]

Thanks for the translation. I hope the person is alright, ayu is such a caring person

[MissElin_]

Wow that was weird... It's probably not the first time a TA member decides to kill them self since japan have the largest amount of self-killers but its probably the first time someone say it to her... Then I must say, thats a pretty selfish person. But I wish the best for him/her and that he/she will keep on living and find happiness.

[zyoeru]

I realise that people have feelings of wanting to commit suicide and I also realise Ayu's lyrics must have saved a lot of people from committing suicide. But I feel personally as if this person should get professional help, Ayu isn't a psychologist, a councillor or a psychiatrist.

I've had friends in the past who've threatened to commit suicide so many times to the point where I myself am emotionally burnt out with it. I feel as if this is what the TA member has done to Ayu...it's great he can confide in someone, but Ayu is a famous singer and it makes you wonder whether other TA members will do the same thing...

It'd be sad if they did because I can totally see people abusing Ayu's kindness, which is what I feel has happened because what can she really do for this person? She can post blogs, but that's not going to help their mental illness is it?

[lfe.]

Originally Posted by Furashubakku

I realise that people have feelings of wanting to commit suicide and I also realise Ayu's lyrics must have saved a lot of people from committing suicide. But I feel personally as if this person should get professional help, Ayu isn't a psychologist, a councillor or a psychiatrist.

I've had friends in the past who've threatened to commit suicide so many times to the point where I myself am emotionally burnt out with it. I feel as if this is what the TA member has done to Ayu...it's great he can confide in someone, but Ayu is a famous singer and it makes you wonder whether other TA members will do the same thing...

It'd be sad if they did because I can totally see people abusing Ayu's kindness, which is what I feel has happened because what can she really do for this person? She can post blogs, but that's not going to help their mental illness is it?

Yeah Ayu is an entertainer, its a bit unfair to unload such complicated problems on her. Shes probably freaking out since now she may or may not control what happens to this kid next. If this person doesn't have anyone to talk to, seeking professional help is best. Her website isn't Sunday morning at church.

[Aga-chan]

This message is really moving. Whether the fan has done it for attention or not, can't be judged. We don't even know what is going on. But I'm quite sure that her messege can also support and help other people in such situations.

[Blasterion]

I hope this person can work things out..ending your life is never the answer.

Ayu has such a big heart.

thanks for the translation

[Kazeyomi]

that's terrible! Suicide isn't the answer, never!
It's true.. Ayu has a big heart, but that guy needs to talk with someone else D: like a psychiatric.

btw thanks for translations

[maikaru]

People here forget that Ayumi lives in Japan,
and in Japan not many people do suicide for attention,
Not many people will say "I am gonna suicide, look at me."
It's a burden on everyone else, so they suicide quietly.
I think she just found out that this person might have done so,
And was moved by her story...

Anyways, I feel really happy about this message..
And I will hope for those TA members~~

[JackieRos]

i just read this omg

[LacusClyne]

Originally Posted by Furashubakku

I realise that people have feelings of wanting to commit suicide and I also realise Ayu's lyrics must have saved a lot of people from committing suicide. But I feel personally as if this person should get professional help, Ayu isn't a psychologist, a councillor or a psychiatrist.

I've had friends in the past who've threatened to commit suicide so many times to the point where I myself am emotionally burnt out with it. I feel as if this is what the TA member has done to Ayu...it's great he can confide in someone, but Ayu is a famous singer and it makes you wonder whether other TA members will do the same thing...

It'd be sad if they did because I can totally see people abusing Ayu's kindness, which is what I feel has happened because what can she really do for this person? She can post blogs, but that's not going to help their mental illness is it?

Originally Posted by lfebaggins

Yeah Ayu is an entertainer, its a bit unfair to unload such complicated problems on her. Shes probably freaking out since now she may or may not control what happens to this kid next. If this person doesn't have anyone to talk to, seeking professional help is best. Her website isn't Sunday morning at church.

i see your point, ayu will be worried hearing this, and the last thing she needs is stress/pressure. She work too hard.

but have you thought that this person might not be trying to put stress on ayu...

see, normally when someone loses hope and want to commit suicide, it could means that they don't have anyone to talk too, or can't talk to. Sometimes, it's hard to open your heart, moreover to someone you know.
The more you know the person, the hardly it is to say your feelings and problems, there a lot of of reasons(don't want to burden/your problems is link to them/you don't trust them....)

If the suicide message is posted by him/her, the person might feel that TA is the only place where he/she can voice out his/her thoughts. To certain people, Ayu is not just a singer, she's an guardian angel. Her lyrics are trueful and Ayu's is an understanding person, not those hyporites like most adults are.
It's more like.....'At least i still have ayu' thing.

i wonder if anyone understand this meaning....it's a little hard to say in words, but i had come from that stage before.

[jbrat2219]

I wonder what's wrong with the member... It's soooooo touching that Ayu cares so much

[mimi.chan]

aww.. this is sweet message from ayu
I will pray for him/her with you ayu and TA~

[asmAyumi1992]

I don't know the meaning much. But I know it sounds serious.

[zyoeru]

Originally Posted by LacusClyne

i see your point, ayu will be worried hearing this, and the last thing she needs is stress/pressure. She work too hard.

but have you thought that this person might not be trying to put stress on ayu...

see, normally when someone loses hope and want to commit suicide, it could means that they don't have anyone to talk too, or can't talk to. Sometimes, it's hard to open your heart, moreover to someone you know.
The more you know the person, the hardly it is to say your feelings and problems, there a lot of of reasons(don't want to burden/your problems is link to them/you don't trust them....)

If the suicide message is posted by him/her, the person might feel that TA is the only place where he/she can voice out his/her thoughts. To certain people, Ayu is not just a singer, she's an guardian angel. Her lyrics are trueful and Ayu's is an understanding person, not those hyporites like most adults are.
It's more like.....'At least i still have ayu' thing.

i wonder if anyone understand this meaning....it's a little hard to say in words, but i had come from that stage before.

Well...I do understand where you're coming from and it's great that her TA can rely on her...but I think there's such a thing as relying on Ayu too much. From now on, there's nothing Ayu can do for this person, so it'd be terrible for the news to reach her he did commit suicide.
If he didn't and was saved by Ayu's blog. That's great...but what if there's a next time?
I've also had thoughts like this at least twice in my life. But I would never be able to tell someone like Ayu, I've always known it's better to go see a professional about such matters, which is what the TA member should have done in my opinion...

[LacusClyne]

^hmm....for me, i don't really like professional help, they seem too remote to me. I lways have a feeling that they are talking to me because they are paid to do so, and not REALLY want to help me.

[waterballoon]

Genie (is it okay if I call you that?), I'm really sorry about your story. I get what you're trying to say about that TA member... but it's not like you actually went to comment on the TA website that you have been feeling suicidal too.

It's like... if I were Ayu, personally, if I know a fan wants to commit suicide, I would be really worried and freaked out, especially when like a close friend of mine actually committed suicide as well.

I mean Ayu can say stuff like "Don't give life up!", 'You're not alone!", but in the end, it also depends on the person himself. I have had suicidal thoughts before, and I know even if all my friends were to give me their opinions, ultimately, it's also up to me to make that decision. ^^

Btw, I hope you're feeling all right now...

[yoshino]

oh tat is really a v personal msg. Hope it's not gonna affect Ayu too much. It's nice that she cares..

[rakeru]

she's so caring! it sounds as if someone was thinking of committing suicide. i really respect her for reaching out and using her influence and power to benefit others.

[BluishDays]

Thanks for the translation

What a deep personal message, Truly hope the best for this person

[C+R+E+AYUMI]

it seems a member wanted to suicide...it's beautiful that ayu has written a personal message to him/her. She's not just a star but a warm-hearted person.