'BLUE BIRD' romaji and translation - Page 6

Dustie · #**101** 6th June 2006, 03:13 PM

Quote:

The sun is too bright" is too literal I think and does not really take into account the emotion she was trying to get across in that sentance.

That makes my point. Why should we change it, if it was infact "the sun is too bright"? We don't know, after all, what emotion she wanted to get across... I think it's better to know what she wrote even if it sounds simple, rathen than an 'enhanced' version...

(I don't know if she wrote "the sun is too bright" obviously, as I can see there's a discussion about it going on, I just used it to explain)

As I wrote in my previous post, I was just confused about what she wrote, becouse some expressions sounded different, less or more powerful. I know there might be places we can't tell which word fits better - if so, I just wanted to know that...

SunshineSlayer · #**102** 7th June 2006, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dustie

That makes my point. Why should we change it, if it was infact "the sun is too bright"? We don't know, after all, what emotion she wanted to get across... I think it's better to know what she wrote even if it sounds simple, rathen than an 'enhanced' version...

(I don't know if she wrote "the sun is too bright" obviously, as I can see there's a discussion about it going on, I just used it to explain)

Yes, that is what we are discussing.

There are other ways to write "the sun is too bright" without using the word "mabushii" because mabushii has certain connotations attached to it that mean more than simply bright. To add more to the discussion, I have 3 Japanese dictionaries and all give the best definition of mabushii as dazzling.

Chibi_Venus · #**103** 7th June 2006, 04:19 AM

It sounds like it would be a calm song, but when you actually hear it...

Quote:

If you receive a wound
I'll give my wing to you

That reminds me a lot of Endless sorrow. Dun dun dun.

masa · #**104** 7th June 2006, 11:52 AM

>"The sun is too bright" is too literal I think and does not really take into account the emotion she was trying to get across in that sentance.

If so, I think "The sun is too bright" is suitable in this case. Because this phrase should not express "amazing/stunning/wowing" feelings. This is the phrase without emotion in order to hide the inner emotion. And that I've found an example in which "mabushii" is translated to "too bright" in an online dictionary.
I edit my first post for now. But if the better translation is found, I may change it again.

stardusties · #**105** 7th June 2006, 07:00 PM

amazing once again...i swear ayu NEEDS to write a novel

....

Thanks for the translation masa

!!! It is MAJORLY appreciated -hug-

truehappiness · #**106** 8th June 2006, 12:33 AM

Aw. Dazzling sounded so much better~:]

I thought it was nice, anyway. xD Exact translations'd be boring wouldn't they? :p

shippo · #**107** 8th June 2006, 12:11 PM

Hmm... I've seen many of masa translation... and he always use words "dazzling"

For example : About you's translation... The last part : Sore ga totemo mabushii...
He translate dazzling...

It's kinda poetic and I love it...

Go masa go!!!

Animelvin · #**108** 9th June 2006, 04:05 AM

Now that I see the english translation. The title Blue Bird is very well done.

"You calmly watched my wings
Waiting for the season to take off

Absolutely Beautiful. ^_^

masa · #**109** 9th June 2006, 11:06 AM

Well, if you have a Japanese friend, please ask him/her what is the meaning of "mabushii" in this case. I assure you he/she will answer that this word has no "amazing/stunning/wowing" feelings in this case. On the other hand, I think "dazzling" was suitable in the case of "About You" and "Pride".

I changed my translation a little again, and editted my first post.

I was awaken by your voice
From my sleep a little bit long
↓
I was awakened by your voice
From my sleep, a little bit long

hallelujah_united · #**110** 9th June 2006, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truehappiness

Aw. Dazzling sounded so much better~:]

I thought it was nice, anyway. xD Exact translations'd be boring wouldn't they? :p

Have to agree with you, dazzling did sound nicer.

Would have added a little irony to it as well.

But on a whole, it's what we've come to expect from Ayu: really beautiful lyrics. And a really good translation by masa-san too!

truehappiness · #**111** 9th June 2006, 12:59 PM

In place of bright, could we use 'brilliant' since that also means 'bright' but in a fancier way?

It just doesn't seem like an Ayu song without the poetic words.. :[

Dustie · #**112** 9th June 2006, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truehappiness

It just doesn't seem like an Ayu song without the poetic words.. :[

But what if she's infact not using beautiful words?...
There's no point in making them better than they are, "enhancing", IMO...

Thank you for discussing this.

truehappiness · #**113** 9th June 2006, 03:54 PM

:/ There isn't? :/

The words do mean the same-ish things.. ah~ whatever. xD

Neo Daydream · #**114** 10th June 2006, 04:37 AM

thanks ^^

SunshineSlayer · #**115** 10th June 2006, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dustie

But what if she's infact not using beautiful words?...
There's no point in making them better than they are, "enhancing", IMO...

Thank you for discussing this.

This has already been discussed. Using words like dazzling are not "enhancing". Dazzling is in fact the direct translation of that word. But Masa feels that something else would be better in this case.

constantwater · #**116** 10th June 2006, 07:35 AM

Thank You very much for your time and effort, masa!!!

Dustie · #**117** 10th June 2006, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunshineSlayer

This has already been discussed. Using words like dazzling are not "enhancing". Dazzling is in fact the direct translation of that word. But Masa feels that something else would be better in this case.

Well, I wasn't referring to that exact situation, just to translating in general.

Rebirthia · #**118** 10th June 2006, 01:50 PM

thank you masa!

the lyrics sound all repeating to me, but i still like them..

Ewenion · #**119** 11th June 2006, 02:10 PM

Thank you masa

masa · #**120** 11th June 2006, 05:21 PM

I've just watched her singing this song on TV with a subtitle. The unclear parts has become clear now, and I correct several parts.

???? kumo ga nagare tara --> Gray na kumo ga nagare tara
Kono sora ga nakiyamu kara --> Kono sora ga nakiyan dara
Kimi wa sotto mimamotta ???? tsubasa --> Kimi wa sotto mimamotta kono se no tsubasa
Doko e tadoritsuku da to shite mo --> Doko e tadoritsuku n da to shite mo
(It was not her grammatical mistake but I missed to hear "n". Sorry.)

When the clouds drift away --> When the gray clouds drift away
The sky will stop crying --> And the sky stops crying
I was awakened by your voice --> I'll wake up to your voice
You calmly watched the wings --> You calmly watched the wing on my back

And I edit my first post.