I need Ayu to inspire me again

[Andrenekoi]

Originally Posted by happiholic★

I think that most people who became Ayu fans did so because of her really touching/deep way of making music. But, that music came about because of Ayu's hardships in her youth. However, these days, for the most part, she doesn't have those kinds of emotions, and her music is now more "pop" than ever. I think the problem is that some fans, no matter how dedicated, are really hoping for more deep music that made them fall in love with Ayu. No problem in that. Some people really know what kind of music they like. Other fans can just accept that Ayu isn't going to make music like that, and are okay with more poppy songs, perhaps they like pop music in general, so it sits well with them. But, I think on a deeper level they, maybe everyone, wants old Ayu back. I feel that way because of the reactions to songs like Brilliante and Last Angel. They were more "old Ayu" sounding.

Also, I think maybe nostalgia plays a part in it. I often wonder that if she released a song that I really love from way back, like Kanariya, would I like it if it were released on Party Queen? On the opposite hand, would a song like Call or Letter be considered one of her best had it been released on I am...?

Considering everyone has their own ideals about music, I can understand people seeing deepness where others see blandness...

But most of her biggest hits, and the most praised over here, are summer and winter tracks, and among her most generic sounding stuff... Hits like Seasons, Dearest, Voyage, Boys & Girls, A Song for XX, To be, You, Trauma, Audience, Fly High, No way to say, Hanabi, Memorial Address, Greatful Days, fairyland, heaven, Because of You, etc etc etc are pretty much pop music and standart jpop...

I can't agree about the lyrics either, as she always had her share of deep and generic lyrics... I don't know if this happen, but I would find it rather bizarre if someone told me they find lyrics like GREEN, LOVE n HATE, Microphone, Countdown, Last Links, Don't look back, Lady Dynamite, Sexy little things, Love song, crossroad, sending mail, do it again, Virgin Road, progress, beloved, BRILLANTE, Call, letter, Reminds me, Tell me why, the next LOVE flat or uninspired. I can understand someone disliking any of them, or all of them, but if someone says she isn't taking interesting aproaches to subjects mostly untouched in jpop or mainstream music in general, I can't understand it.

IMO, as years goes by, the most mature her thoughts about life, relationship and self confidence gets, BTW

[happiholic★]

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

Considering everyone has their own ideals about music, I can understand people seeing deepness where others see blandness...

But most of her biggest hits, and the most praised over here, are summer and winter tracks, and among her most generic sounding stuff... Hits like Seasons, Dearest, Voyage, Boys & Girls, A Song for XX, To be, You, Trauma, Audience, Fly High, No way to say, Hanabi, Memorial Address, Greatful Days, fairyland, heaven, Because of You, etc etc etc are pretty much pop music and standart jpop...

I can't agree about the lyrics either, as she always had her share of deep and generic lyrics... I don't know if this happen, but I would find it rather bizarre if someone told me they find lyrics like GREEN, LOVE n HATE, Microphone, Countdown, Last Links, Don't look back, Lady Dynamite, Sexy little things, Love song, crossroad, sending mail, do it again, Virgin Road, progress, beloved, BRILLANTE, Call, letter, Reminds me, Tell me why, the next LOVE flat or uninspired. I can understand someone disliking any of them, or all of them, but if someone says she isn't taking interesting aproaches to subjects mostly untouched in jpop or mainstream music in general, I can't understand it.

IMO, as years goes by, the most mature her thoughts about life, relationship and self confidence gets, BTW

I'm not really talking "hits" only, but rather everything. I'm talking songs like SCAR, too. In terms of lyrics, I'm sorry but the lyrics to Party Queen are nothing like the lyrics to Memorial Address. I mean, I like the lyrics to Party Queen, sure, but they don't touch me at all the way that Memorial Address's do. As some people have said they could really hear the pain in her voice in her older songs, I don't hear that as much as I used to with her old songs. And to say that Ayu hasn't written at least one song for the sake of needing a song is silly, imo. And of course she's taking interesting approaches to things, but I find that true of J-Pop in general that's why I like it. Other J-Pop singers have talked about risque things, maybe they aren't as popular, but they are there. But, I can think of a few examples in my head. And Ayu isn't really writing to "save herself" these days, save for maybe when she's going something on her mind, but she's not the same person she was when she started out. If people fell in love with her for who she was at the beginning and only like that image, of course they are only really going to like music from that era, even if her new stuff seems inspired to others, it just won't catch that fan from the beginning.

[Andrenekoi]

Originally Posted by happiholic★

I'm not really talking "hits" only, but rather everything. I'm talking songs like SCAR, too. In terms of lyrics, I'm sorry but the lyrics to Party Queen are nothing like the lyrics to Memorial Address. I mean, I like the lyrics to Party Queen, sure, but they don't touch me at all the way that Memorial Address's do. As some people have said they could really hear the pain in her voice in her older songs, I don't hear that as much as I used to with her old songs. And to say that Ayu hasn't written at least one song for the sake of needing a song is silly, imo. And of course she's taking interesting approaches to things, but I find that true of J-Pop in general. And Ayu isn't really writing to "save herself" these days, save for maybe when she's going something on her mind, but she's not the same person she was when she started out. If people fell in love with her for who she was at the beginning and only like that image, of course they are only really going to like music from that era, even if her new stuff seems inspired to others, it just won't catch that fan from the beginning.

The first part of my post were about music, the second is about lyrics... Cuz I DO agree that MA (the song, not the whole EP) happens to be among her strongest lyrics works to date.

About the pain on her voice, most of that was unproper singing technique... It had amazing aesthetical effects, but is the main reason, along the hearing loss, for how she sounds since 2008, as it deteriorated her voice.^^

About the lyrics touching you or not, I think it has more to do with how well you can relate to what she sang about at the time more to loss of quality or anything else. She obviously is not a teenager filled with doubts and angst, as she is an adult woman now, but I don't think she stoped singing to save herself... Just that the feeling she gaves while doing so changed. Songs like crossroad, Microphone or the next LOVE is Ayu still trying to save herself and find/remember her place in the world IMO

[happiholic★]

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

The first part of my post were about music, the second is about lyrics... Cuz I DO agree that MA (the song, not the whole EP) happens to be among her strongest lyrics works to date.

About the pain on her voice, most of that was unproper singing technique... It had amazing aesthetical effects, but is the main reason, along the hearing loss, for how she sounds since 2008, as it deteriorated her voice.^^

About the lyrics touching you or not, I think it has more to do with how well you can relate to what she sang about at the time more to loss of quality or anything else. She obviously is not a teenager filled with doubts and angst, as she is an adult woman now, but I don't think she stoped singing to save herself... Just that the feeling she gaves while doing so changed. Songs like crossroad, Microphone or the next LOVE is Ayu still trying to save herself and find/remember her place in the world IMO

I can understand what you are saying about her singing improperly, but there are songs where I hear distinct pain. I'm not always in love with her voice, in general. And with regards to her lyrics, I really don't find the lyrics to NaNaNa to be very special. Not that I can't relate to them, I can, but I find them dull. Then again, I think the whole Lonely Queen thing was pulled out of her ass, tbh.

[Andrenekoi]

Originally Posted by happiholic★

I can understand what you are saying about her singing improperly, but there are songs where I hear distinct pain. I'm not always in love with her voice, in general. And with regards to her lyrics, I really don't find the lyrics to NaNaNa to be very special. Not that I can't relate to them, I can, but I find them dull. Then again, I think the whole Lonely Queen thing was pulled out of her ass, tbh.

I can say I find Boys & Girls, AUDIENCE, UNITE!, ANGEL'S SONG, among others dull and generic. Most lyrics on PQ don't reflect NaNaNa on the same way most lyrics on her past albums reflect the songs I cited... As I said, not that anyone must like anything she does, but her lyrics still have their fair share of interesting stuff and generic stuff...

About the Lonely Queen stuff (I really dislike this therm, as IMO it reduces the whole album concept on a stupid way), IMO it was done on an amazing way... Party Queen if one of the few pop albums I heard that can be trully considered a concept album. Still, I can understand why someone would dislike it, and I do believe it is a little pretentious

[emi♡]

She just keeps swimming around what I want, personally...

Like, can't I just get a serious song with a nice melody and cool arrangement without it having to be cheesed out to hell with all the contrived artsy crap?

Same issue with her damn PVs.

You know, sometimes I just want a nice song to listen to with honest lyrics. Less is more.


and lol every time I want to think of an example for something, it takes me back to JEWEL. Cause JEWEL is awesome. And even the PV. Nothing even happens in it, but you know you want to watch it.

[jbrat2219]

Originally Posted by happiholic★

Also, I think maybe nostalgia plays a part in it. I often wonder that if she released a song that I really love from way back, like Kanariya, would I like it if it were released on Party Queen? On the opposite hand, would a song like Call or Letter be considered one of her best had it been released on I am...?

I wonder about this, too. Sometimes it seems like fans don't like her new stuff simply because it is not her old stuff. But if the roles were reversed and songs like Dearest for example were released now, fans would be critical. And maybe they were. I wasn't apart of the ayu fan community back then, thank God.

Originally Posted by happiholic★

I'm not really talking "hits" only, but rather everything. I'm talking songs like SCAR, too. In terms of lyrics, I'm sorry but the lyrics to Party Queen are nothing like the lyrics to Memorial Address. I mean, I like the lyrics to Party Queen, sure, but they don't touch me at all the way that Memorial Address's do. As some people have said they could really hear the pain in her voice in her older songs, I don't hear that as much as I used to with her old songs. And to say that Ayu hasn't written at least one song for the sake of needing a song is silly, imo. And of course she's taking interesting approaches to things, but I find that true of J-Pop in general that's why I like it. Other J-Pop singers have talked about risque things, maybe they aren't as popular, but they are there. But, I can think of a few examples in my head. And Ayu isn't really writing to "save herself" these days, save for maybe when she's going something on her mind, but she's not the same person she was when she started out. If people fell in love with her for who she was at the beginning and only like that image, of course they are only really going to like music from that era, even if her new stuff seems inspired to others, it just won't catch that fan from the beginning.

This I disagree with. I feel like ayu sings with just as much, or even more emotion as she use to. You don't hear it in songs like (m)u, criminal, HEAVEN, JEWEL, Talkin 2 myself, GUILTY, fated, Together When..., untitled for her, NEXT LEVEL, count down, Love song, MOON, November, Return road, reminds me etc.?

[emi♡]

I think sometimes her over-exaggeration covers up the real pain for me

[Kouyou]

I don't agree with the people suggesting that Ayu's music is on the decline and that that is why some fans are feeling uninspired. Ayu's ability to inspire a person varies from person to person. A song/album might really hit home and mean a lot to one person while that same song/album might not mean anything to someone else. For example, I really loved Party Queen and thought it was an excellent album, but a lot of other fans don't like it at all. I agree with the person who suggested you might want to wait a while and then try listening to Party Queen again. I didn't particularly care for A Song for XX or LOVEppears until this year, when I decided to really give them a close listen to see what they had to offer, and now I can say that I really enjoy both of them.

[jewelbox]

About the generic stuff.. The three "everyone loves 'em" songs on PQ are pretty generic Ayu stuff, and everyone agrees that they're the BEST songs on that album. So is there anything wrong to like the stuff what she's best at? But I can't see her older works as "generic pop". The reason why I started to like her was that her music is pretty different from the kawaii upbeat Jpop and it wasn't "american styled" pop either.
Ofc songs like AUDIENCE or B&G are really Jpop, upbeat, "shallow" lyrics (not really) but most of her stuff before NL was pretty unique (Bold&D, And then etc.) maybe mostly because of her voice, and the quality of compositions (DAI & HAL & CREA).
And out of all of her songs I dislike those happy upbeat generic songs,but evolution and UNITE! are exceptions.
I agree with happiholic, that her music is more "pop" than ever, because some of her songs now sound like every other pop artists' songs. I'd rather listen to evolution, B&G or other generic Ayu songs rather than NaNaNa which is exactly what I DON'T want from her.
If I wan't "american" styled pop, I listen to Kpop because they do it so much better. But from Ayu I want "Ayu-pop", if you know what I mean?
She is a pop artist, who does mainstream music but she tends to add her own twist to her music which other artists lack of, and yes it is the lyrics but there's something else also.
And for my part I can say it's not nostalgy. It has nothing to do with it. Before RnrC I enjoyed GUILTY and even so much hated NL. Now it seems that on her albums I can find only 3 songs which I enjoy, before it was 3 songs that I didn't like and everything else was pretty awesome.

[relmy]

Originally Posted by happiholic★

I think that most people who became Ayu fans did so because of her really touching/deep way of making music. But, that music came about because of Ayu's hardships in her youth. However, these days, for the most part, she doesn't have those kinds of emotions, and her music is now more "pop" than ever. I think the problem is that some fans, no matter how dedicated, are really hoping for more deep music that made them fall in love with Ayu. No problem in that. Some people really know what kind of music they like. Other fans can just accept that Ayu isn't going to make music like that, and are okay with more poppy songs, perhaps they like pop music in general, so it sits well with them. But, I think on a deeper level they, maybe everyone, wants old Ayu back. I feel that way because of the reactions to songs like Brilliante and Last Angel. They were more "old Ayu" sounding.

Also, I think maybe nostalgia plays a part in it. I often wonder that if she released a song that I really love from way back, like Kanariya, would I like it if it were released on Party Queen? On the opposite hand, would a song like Call or Letter be considered one of her best had it been released on I am...?

I don't think it's nostalgia. I think the part about her youth is the whole issue.

I see it a bit like this, up until RAINBOW the songs are all about youth and Ayu discovering herself, when you read RAINBOW's lyrics alongside Loveppears, you really get the impression that everything has been "worked out", if that makes sense. It's a very conclusive album, a lot of the themes in the lyrics related back to imagery that appears on Loveppears or Duty, but with a more positive theme.

Memorial Address is kind of like a transition, the album deals with some of the same themes, but you also have new styles like Because of You, and stuff like Greatful Days. MY STORY was a totally new direction, with totally new themes, as was (miss)understood. I think nobody really had a problem with them because it was... well, new. This is my personal opinion anyway. I loved Secret, but after that it became a bit formulaic and I see that as the point when her lyrics started to become formulaic too.

I think this feeds into the whole "music to save herself" theme, rather than music for musics sake, because it's what she does and what she loves doing. I don't think she loved it in the Loveppears/Duty era, even if songs like Duty show a fear of losing it all, I think that now it just seems so... just normal, everyday, and nothing special. She releases so much, it's like she's just a machine churning out music. Rather than speaking out about it though, and being a victim of that, she's the one doing it... because that's how she does it.

Not too sure what point I'm trying to make :S

[ayu_ready?]

Originally Posted by ccsharumun

I have been perusing this thread on and off for a while now, and it seems as if while many people agree that something is missing, nobody can agree on what. So I will just go with how I have received her transformation over the years:

I feel that the only true constant in her career, from start to finish, is the depth of Ayu's lyrics. NaNaNa and Shake It and Party Queen notwithstanding -- although even those two had a thoughtful line or two that amounts to more than you can get in an entire song from Katy Perry. That much has never changed.

I have found personally that part of what has been less attractive to me is the music composition; not the styles of music, per say, but the fact that baring a few songs, her music no longer enhances the appeal of her words. I can go back and listen to songs like A Song for XX, Rainbow, Hanabi, Kiss'o'kill, Evolution, is this LOVE?, will, Mirrorcle World, Moments, and other classics like M and always get a hefty sense of depth and feeling even if I don't know what the lyrics are sayings. Since Guilty, the number of songs of this nature have been decreasing (for me, anyway). It's not that they are bad songs, or that I dislike the style, but they no longer echo inside of me, or they do not echo as well the stuff prior to Guilty.

Her changing visual image / style is another aspect, but not in the way people have described here. It's not about the clothes she is wearing or the makeup or the themes/imagery. It's about the fact that, barring most of her concert/live performances, everything seems too hollow.

I finally found the words during a tumblr post a few months back: there used to be a time when she could pierce you in your heart, and in your gut and soul, with a single look. Think of the My Story covers, or the Blue Bird Single where she looks right at you, or the single covers for Heaven (where she's looking up), Bold & Delicious, or even Startin'. I'm talking about looks like these:

Spoiler:

A really small selection of favorites:

It wasn't just the stuff she did for her albums, but even in the shoots she did for clothing and magazines, even some from before her debut. It wasn't just in her serious faces, but also in her happy faces. There was an honest intensity there that I haven't seen since the Mirrorcle World video. (Again, not including her concerts). (And actually the shots of her with short hair singing in Love Song were good).

I feel like her lyrics and stage performances are still honest, but everything else lacks a reflection of that honesty/intensity, or rather the actual depth of it. Nowadays I feel like we get some glimmer, but not the full force of it. I have said in other threads that, for instance, while I understand the concept of Party Queen and it's album art, I am not sure it really conveys what she is trying to say the way she hoped it would.

Essentially, the music she uses and the visual art she does no longer seem to have the capacity to convey her fully, and the photoshoots (for her albums and otherwise) seem to reflect a disconnect between what is inside of her, and what she projects.

you've said it all.
it's just the problem of inspiration & commitment. she still has commitment, but it seems to be a different level, idk. inspiration? not that much. should I also say that she seems somewhat unfocused? it explains PQ messiness

[happiholic★]

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

I can say I find Boys & Girls, AUDIENCE, UNITE!, ANGEL'S SONG, among others dull and generic. Most lyrics on PQ don't reflect NaNaNa on the same way most lyrics on her past albums reflect the songs I cited... As I said, not that anyone must like anything she does, but her lyrics still have their fair share of interesting stuff and generic stuff...

About the Lonely Queen stuff (I really dislike this therm, as IMO it reduces the whole album concept on a stupid way), IMO it was done on an amazing way... Party Queen if one of the few pop albums I heard that can be trully considered a concept album. Still, I can understand why someone would dislike it, and I do believe it is a little pretentious

I just feel like her lyrics don't get to me as much as they did in the past. They don't move me, even if its something that is relevant to my life.

Originally Posted by jbrat2219

I wonder about this, too. Sometimes it seems like fans don't like her new stuff simply because it is not her old stuff. But if the roles were reversed and songs like Dearest for example were released now, fans would be critical. And maybe they were. I wasn't apart of the ayu fan community back then, thank God.



This I disagree with. I feel like ayu sings with just as much, or even more emotion as she use to. You don't hear it in songs like (m)u, criminal, HEAVEN, JEWEL, Talkin 2 myself, GUILTY, fated, Together When..., untitled for her, NEXT LEVEL, count down, Love song, MOON, November, Return road, reminds me etc.?

I feel like there are some songs where she really feels what she sings about, and that's when you can hear it, these days. But, there are times when I think she's just hamming it up. Maybe because she's established now and not feeling those old emotions, just doing what she loves and putting on a good show?

[jbrat2219]

Originally Posted by happiholic★

I feel like there are some songs where she really feels what she sings about, and that's when you can hear it, these days. But, there are times when I think she's just hamming it up. Maybe because she's established now and not feeling those old emotions, just doing what she loves and putting on a good show?

I see what you mean but it could also be possible that fans just can't identify with her emotions anymore. She's progressed and many old school fans are stuck feeling those same emotions when ayu was young and angsty lol. I mean to some people emotion = sadness but are a lot of different things ayu has been expressing lately that people just don't connect with.

[RayJason]

Return Road is full of true emotions if you ask me and the lyrics are very deep. So she didn't lose her grip with her lyrics on me, that's for sure. (Let alone Love songs; FULL of emotions and perfect lyrics! )

[happiholic★]

Originally Posted by jbrat2219

I see what you mean but it could also be possible that fans just can't identify with her emotions anymore. She's progressed and many old school fans are stuck feeling those same emotions when ayu was young and angsty lol. I mean to some people emotion = sadness but are a lot of different things ayu has been expressing lately that people just don't connect with.

Oh, I wasn't thinking of sadness when I was writing that post. I'm not even really that into angst. I just don't feel moved in whatever way I'm supposed to when I read her lyrics these days. I was more moved by Koda Kumi's show girl than all the lyrics on PQ Although, as much as I can't stand listening to Eyes, Smoke, Magic I do actually really like the lyrics.

[primavera♥]

im not having an issue getting feeling from her music. In fact, do it again and BRILLANTE have become two of my favorite Ayu songs....and I was a bit turned off by the Party Queen album but I recently decided to go back to it and honestly I'm kind of really enjoying and appreciating it, though in a much different way than I enjoy some of the rest of her music. I take in everything differently I guess and I feel Ayu often has provided some variety throughout her career. I also still enjoy her lyrics.

[letter]

Here's an idea. Look at her albums one by one and select the songs you like, don't care for, and dislike. Look at them from a personal point of view and then either objective or artistic, as it is possible to dislike a song while feeling, regardless, that it is a good product of pop culture. When comparing an older song to a newer one, a ballad vs ballad, electro vs electro etc, try to see what it is that sets them apart, what makes one so much better than the other. It's a feeling of nostalgia that accompanies Ayu's older music for many (imagine if Love song was on I am..., BRILLANTE on Duty, reminds me on Memorial address and so on). Ayu's an interesting case, no matter how you look at it, and whether you consider the artist, lyricist, pop icon, friend, girl/woman (or even wife, as we speculate). However, I don't have the energy to explain my views right now; and they cannot all be proven, as I don't know her--I merely extract what I can from what is given to me. What I know is that, for example, while Love songs is an album of hers that lyrically provides very little stimulation (for me, at least), it is one of my most cherished albums in her discography, because of many memories that are attached to the songs. crossroad's lyrics are uninspiring, as I can't relate to them - in fact, many of the subjects that Ayu discusses bore me - but the melody is pure nostalgia, despite the song being only about a year old. There are songs that have it all (melody, arrangement and subject), songs that are simply beautiful, songs that fit somewhere in between by containing an element that is enticing on its own, and songs that are unappealing in their entirety. Our judgements of that will, obviously, clash.

[happiholic★]

Originally Posted by letter

Here's an idea. Look at her albums one by one and select the songs you like, don't care for, and dislike. Look at them from a personal point of view and then either objective or artistic, as it is possible to dislike a song while feeling, regardless, that it is a good product of pop culture. When comparing an older song to a newer one, a ballad vs ballad, electro vs electro etc, try to see what it is that sets them apart, what makes one so much better than the other. It's a feeling of nostalgia that accompanies Ayu's older music for many (imagine if Love song was on I am..., BRILLANTE on Duty, reminds me on Memorial address and so on). Ayu's an interesting case, no matter how you look at it, and whether you consider the artist, lyricist, pop icon, friend, girl/woman (or even wife, as we speculate). However, I don't have the energy to explain my views right now; and they cannot all be proven, as I don't know her--I merely extract what I can from what is given to me. What I know is that, for example, while Love songs is an album of hers that lyrically provides very little stimulation (for me, at least), it is one of my most cherished albums in her discography, because of many memories that are attached to the songs. crossroad's lyrics are uninspiring, as I can't relate to them - in fact, many of the subjects that Ayu discusses bore me - but the melody is pure nostalgia, despite the song being only about a year old. There are songs that have it all (melody, arrangement and subject), songs that are simply beautiful, songs that fit somewhere in between by containing an element that is enticing on its own, and songs that are unappealing in their entirety. Our judgements of that will, obviously, clash.

I have to agree with that.

[ayu_ready?]

Originally Posted by letter

Here's an idea. Look at her albums one by one and select the songs you like, don't care for, and dislike. Look at them from a personal point of view and then either objective or artistic, as it is possible to dislike a song while feeling, regardless, that it is a good product of pop culture. When comparing an older song to a newer one, a ballad vs ballad, electro vs electro etc, try to see what it is that sets them apart, what makes one so much better than the other. It's a feeling of nostalgia that accompanies Ayu's older music for many (imagine if Love song was on I am..., BRILLANTE on Duty, reminds me on Memorial address and so on). Ayu's an interesting case, no matter how you look at it, and whether you consider the artist, lyricist, pop icon, friend, girl/woman (or even wife, as we speculate). However, I don't have the energy to explain my views right now; and they cannot all be proven, as I don't know her--I merely extract what I can from what is given to me. What I know is that, for example, while Love songs is an album of hers that lyrically provides very little stimulation (for me, at least), it is one of my most cherished albums in her discography, because of many memories that are attached to the songs. crossroad's lyrics are uninspiring, as I can't relate to them - in fact, many of the subjects that Ayu discusses bore me - but the melody is pure nostalgia, despite the song being only about a year old. There are songs that have it all (melody, arrangement and subject), songs that are simply beautiful, songs that fit somewhere in between by containing an element that is enticing on its own, and songs that are unappealing in their entirety. Our judgements of that will, obviously, clash.

it's not the feeling of nostalgia but rather the feeling of quality if you ask me. but everyone has a different standard for that. for me past Ayu = quality, and recent Ayu = lack of focus, messy feeling, cheap music, bad taste, no inspiration