[romaji & translation] blossom - Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai
Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai
· Ayu's Official Site · Ayu's twitter · Ayu's YouTube · masa's translations · Misa-chan's translations ·


Go Back   Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai > Ayumi Hamasaki Forums > Ayu Music News

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 15th July 2010, 02:27 PM
masa masa is offline
Free & Easy H-Initiate
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Tokyo
Posts: 901
[romaji & translation] blossom

Naite ita yo ne honto wa zutto kokoro no naka de wa ne
Dakedo kakushite ita yo ne sonna toko wa kawatte nai yo ne

Waratte ta yo ne honno isshun aeta sono jikan dake wa
Are wa yasahii uso datta yo ne seiippai no tsuyogari

Isu datte wakatte ta ne wasureta hi wa nakatta yo ne
Otona ni natte iku koto no imi nante shiranaku tatte ii

* Datte bokura wa aruki hajimeta soko ni riyuu nante hitsuyou jya nai
Tada daijoubu mou daijoubu sore dake wa tashika ni wakatta kara

Wakatte iru yo itai kurai kawarazu tsutawatte ru yo
Wakeatte ikou tte chikatta no wa uso nanka ja nai kara

Irozuita hanabira o issho ni mamotte kita you ni
Saigo no hitohira made issho ni yasashiku mitodoke you

** Soshite bokura wa aruki hajimeta mada gikochinai te to te wo tsunaide
Ima fumidashita kono ippo ga ne mirai o kaeta shunkan ni naru

* (repeat)
** (repeat)
--------------------------------------------------
Within your heart, you've actually been crying for a while haven't you?
But you were hiding it, that part of you hasn't changed.

You were smiling just at the moment we could meet, weren't you?
I'm sure it was your sweet lie and the pretension to be strong with all your might

We always knew, we have never had a day where we forgot
We don't have to know the meaning of becoming an adult

* Because we started to walk and we don't need a reason for that
Because we certainly know at least that we are simply OK, we are OK now

I painfully know that your feelings are reaching me unchanged
Because our promise to share everything isn't a lie at all

Just as we have protected the naturally-colored flower petals together
We will gently see them through together until the last one falls

** And we started to walk, hand in hand, still in a kind of awkward way
Now we have taken a step forward, and this moment will change the future

* (repeat)
** (repeat)

Last edited by masa; 26th July 2010 at 06:30 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 15th July 2010, 02:36 PM
masa masa is offline
Free & Easy H-Initiate
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Tokyo
Posts: 901
(line 5) We always knew, we have never had a day where we forgot
(line 9) I know painfully, your feelings are reaching me without change

You may wonder if these parts are imperfect. You may wonder "we knew WHAT?", "we forgot WHAT?" and "I know WHAT?". But these are just as the original lyrics. In other words, I have to say that these parts of the original lyrics are grammatically imperfect and vague.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 15th July 2010, 03:02 PM
ayumasing's Avatar
ayumasing ayumasing is offline
Prologue Initiate
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 249
She talks a lot about hidden feelings and lies, doesn't she? I wonder if she is talking about her friend, or one of her friend's problems/feelings....
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 15th July 2010, 03:05 PM
AyumiBest's Avatar
AyumiBest AyumiBest is offline
independent Initiate
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Somewhere...
Posts: 3,021
Thanks Masa!!
Those parts were confusing but I think she wants us to insert that "thing" into the lyrics. I dunno. lol
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 15th July 2010, 05:34 PM
AyuGAME's Avatar
AyuGAME AyuGAME is offline
Virgin Road Initiate
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Bandung, Indonesia
Posts: 19,265
the lyrics become kinda confusing in your translation...
but thanks anyway
__________________




Ayumi Hamasaki...Queen of my life...

Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 15th July 2010, 05:55 PM
gallowsCalibrator's Avatar
gallowsCalibrator gallowsCalibrator is offline
No way to say Initiate
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,283
Thanks
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 15th July 2010, 09:45 PM
GRACE's Avatar
GRACE GRACE is offline
winding road Initiate
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: US of A, New England is love~
Posts: 7,468
masa, hun, I thank you for your efforts but man your English makes no sense whatsoever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by masa View Post
Actually, you had long been crying in your heart, hadn't you?
placement of the word "long" doesn't make sense in English
But you were hiding it, that's what you haven't changed in
The second half of this sentence, grammatically I don't think you need the "in" but I don't know how that affects the translation.


You were smiling, just at the moment we could meet, weren't you?
First comma is unnecessary, semicolon should go before "weren't you"
I'm sure it was your sweet lie and the pretension to be strong with all your might

We always knew, we have never had a day where we forgot
never should come before "have" grammatically. again, don't know how that affects the translation, but it doesn't change the meaning of the sentence
We don't have to know the meaning of becoming an adult

* Because we started to walk, and we don't need a reason for that
the comma is unnecessary
Because we know at least that we are just OK, we are OK now
"at least" and "just" mean the same thing in this sentence

I know painfully, your feelings are reaching me without change
should be "painfully know" the adverb ALWAYS comes before the verb. The comma isn't necessary either
Because our promise that we would share everything is not a lie at all
This makes no sense, should it be "Because OF our promise"? The "that" is also unnecessary

Just as we have protected the naturally-colored flower petals together
We will gently see them through together until the last one falls

** And we started to walk, hand in hand still in an unfamiliar way
should be another comma after "hand in hand" grammatically.
Now we have taken a step forward, and this moment will change the future

* (repeat)
** (repeat)

comments in bold, just speaking from an English grammar prespective. Dunno how the translation affects what you wrote, but nothing I commented on would change the actual meaning of any of these sentences.
__________________


Last edited by GRACE; 15th July 2010 at 09:59 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 16th July 2010, 01:13 AM
Kanzaki's Avatar
Kanzaki Kanzaki is offline
Pray H-Initiate
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: A dane lost in Sweden.
Posts: 4,491
So very touching. I can recognize these feelings. I wish I could share this song with a certain person
__________________


Koumori has been wifed by me

Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 16th July 2010, 01:23 AM
primavera♥'s Avatar
primavera♥ primavera♥ is offline
WE WISH Initiate
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 4,089
^^
"* Because we started to walk, and we don't need a reason for that
the comma is unnecessary
Because we know at least that we are just OK, we are OK now
"at least" and "just" mean the same thing in this sentence

I know painfully, your feelings are reaching me without change
should be "painfully know" the adverb ALWAYS comes before the verb. The comma isn't necessary either
Because our promise that we would share everything is not a lie at all
This makes no sense, should it be "Because OF our promise"? The "that" is also unnecessary"

ummm. . . a lot of the things dont really matter and some are wrong. im no English major. just a freshman in high school. but here

firsstly, because it is a compound sentence a comma is necessary, right? at least thats what i was taught.
also adverbs so do not come right before the verb all of the time. they often come after and that is correct.
-also the "that" in the last statement may be unnecessary but it is not wrong. so if ayu wanted it that way then it should stay. often people add excess "that"s to their sentences. actually re-readaing the sentence. i see no serious issue with it at all. "because of" sounds strange in the context

there are other little issues to your corrections and a lot is just something that ayu may have seriously written as masa said

if u have some proof that i am wrong u can say so of course
but i really dont think you should be correcting masa so much. especially when its wrong


------------------

anyway. thank you masa and these are lovely lyrics ^___^ very heartwarming
__________________

Ayu 💛 JASMINE 💛 Hikki 💛 Eiko 💛 MELL
♡ MUCC ♡


Twitter


Last edited by primavera♥; 16th July 2010 at 01:26 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 16th July 2010, 01:42 AM
Hextan's Avatar
Hextan Hextan is offline
poker face Initiate
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Rhode Island, US
Posts: 96
Masa's native language isn't English right? So I can understand being confused by the English but that's going to happen, it's up to the Native speakers to interpret the translation into something that makes sense ^_^

Also, I agree that maybe she doesn't say specifics so you can personally identify with the song a bit more, she knows what she's talking about, and when she sings she feels it, but you might feel something different and that's OK. I kind of like that about her lyrics and I think a good artists writes like that sometimes.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 16th July 2010, 02:54 AM
Mitkki Mitkki is offline
WHATEVER Initiate
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 464
Thanks for your efforts as always.
Just a few comments with my preferences.

Quote:
Originally Posted by masa View Post
Actually, you had long been crying in your heart, hadn't you?
But you were hiding it, that's what you haven't changed in
I feel that 'have' would be more appropriate than 'had' in this case. 'Had' is usually used in conjunction with another clause and emphasizes the termination of a prior clause; eg. I had been crying, but I stopped.
I'd prefer something like: Within your heart, you've actually been crying for a while haven't you? But you were hiding it. That part of you hasn't changed.

Quote:
We always knew, we have never had a day where we forgot.
'We always knew that we've never had a day we forgot' seems more natural for me. Though I would prefer something like: We always knew there hasn't been a day we've forgotten.

Quote:
I know painfully, your feelings are reaching me without change
Because our promise that we would share everything is not a lie at all
'I know (painfully)/(to a painful extent) that your feelings are reaching me unchanged, because our promise to share everything isn't a lie at all' would be my preference.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 16th July 2010, 03:14 AM
GRACE's Avatar
GRACE GRACE is offline
winding road Initiate
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: US of A, New England is love~
Posts: 7,468
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrawbariSnowAyumi View Post
^^
"* Because we started to walk, and we don't need a reason for that
the comma is unnecessary
Because we know at least that we are just OK, we are OK now
"at least" and "just" mean the same thing in this sentence

I know painfully, your feelings are reaching me without change
should be "painfully know" the adverb ALWAYS comes before the verb. The comma isn't necessary either
Because our promise that we would share everything is not a lie at all
This makes no sense, should it be "Because OF our promise"? The "that" is also unnecessary"

ummm. . . a lot of the things dont really matter and some are wrong. im no English major. just a freshman in high school. but here

firsstly, because it is a compound sentence a comma is necessary, right? at least thats what i was taught.
also adverbs so do not come right before the verb all of the time. they often come after and that is correct.
-also the "that" in the last statement may be unnecessary but it is not wrong. so if ayu wanted it that way then it should stay. often people add excess "that"s to their sentences. actually re-readaing the sentence. i see no serious issue with it at all. "because of" sounds strange in the context

there are other little issues to your corrections and a lot is just something that ayu may have seriously written as masa said

if u have some proof that i am wrong u can say so of course
but i really dont think you should be correcting masa so much. especially when its wrong
The comma isn't necessary because of the word "and".
There we go, found it. Adverbs must come before the verb if there is a Direct Object. In this case, "your feelings" is a direct object. Therefore, it must be "painfully know." I win, go pout.

I said it was wrong in English. I don't know if it even says "that" in Japanese or if it's there because Masa felt it made the statement make sense. Direct translations of foreign languages never make a lot of sense, I suggest you learn that. A good translator is able to adapt a translation to be readable in another language not just translate words.
__________________


Last edited by GRACE; 16th July 2010 at 03:29 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 16th July 2010, 03:17 AM
waterballoon's Avatar
waterballoon waterballoon is offline
count down Initiate
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Lands of EDEN
Posts: 17,707
thank u masa! this line just stuck to me, it's so beautiful..

"Just as we have protected the naturally-colored flower petals together
We will gently see them through together until the last one falls"
__________________

YAYAYAYA GAGAGAGA DADADADA WOWOWOWO

Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 16th July 2010, 03:20 AM
Kogepan_19 Kogepan_19 is offline
from your letter Initiate
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 395
Quote:
Originally Posted by GRACE View Post
The comma isn't necessary because of the word "and".
Adverbs come before verbs if they are describing said verb. "painfully" is describing "know" not "your feelings." therefore, it should be "painfully know" not "know painfully" It would make sense if it was written "I know, painfully, your feelings..." but it's not.

I said it was wrong in English. I don't know if it even says "that" in Japanese or if it's there because Masa felt it made the statement make sense.
The "that" in the line makes sense because the promise is "we would share everything" according to the Japanese lyrics.

I believe masa is very open to corrections because he recognizes that he is not a native English speaker, but honestly the whole "your English makes no sense whatsoever" was completely uncalled for as masa has been translating Ayu lyrics for years already.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 16th July 2010, 03:24 AM
GRACE's Avatar
GRACE GRACE is offline
winding road Initiate
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: US of A, New England is love~
Posts: 7,468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kogepan_19 View Post
The "that" in the line makes sense because the promise is "we would share everything" according to the Japanese lyrics.

I believe masa is very open to corrections because he recognizes that he is not a native English speaker, but honestly the whole "your English makes no sense whatsoever" was completely uncalled for as masa has been translating Ayu lyrics for years already.
I know, I've read them, the almost never make sense. I appreciate his efforts, but I wish more people would correct his English and not just tell him "GOOD JOB!!!1!!!!1!1" I'm not trying to be mean to him, I'm an abrasive person. I mean it to say, he can learn and improve. If people help him by making corrections on English then he gets better at English and it benefits him .

"Because our promise that we would share everything is not a lie at all"
hmm maybe I rushed... But it still shouldn't be "that", at least in English. I don't know how Japanese works, maybe it IS "that" in Japanese, but in English the phrase doesn't work. It's missing a verb. In English there should be an "is" before "that," but perhaps it doesn't work in Japanese...

"Because our promise is that we would share everything is not a lie at all"
Is that different then what the Japanese says by a lot or is it a valid minor change?
__________________


Last edited by GRACE; 16th July 2010 at 03:27 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 16th July 2010, 04:34 AM
primavera♥'s Avatar
primavera♥ primavera♥ is offline
WE WISH Initiate
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 4,089
^his lyrics really dont make sense to you? previous translations? theyre not that difficult imo
and the last sentence is awkward . it changes the meaning and doesnt make sense
Quote:
Originally Posted by GRACE View Post
The comma isn't necessary because of the word "and".
There we go, found it. Adverbs must come before the verb if there is a Direct Object. In this case, "your feelings" is a direct object. Therefore, it must be "painfully know." I win, go pout.

I said it was wrong in English. I don't know if it even says "that" in Japanese or if it's there because Masa felt it made the statement make sense. Direct translations of foreign languages never make a lot of sense, I suggest you learn that. A good translator is able to adapt a translation to be readable in another language not just translate words.
no need to be rude (of course if u insist i dont mind ^__~). theres no pouting in language. but i guess ur so happy with uh "winning" i guess. . .
well thank you. ill try to believe that. next time dont be so general in saying all adverbs go before when most of them go after. especially in the specific way you did it. *giggles* i said it was not wrong in english not japanese. did u misread? it doesnt matter if it said that in japanese. my point was "that" its not a crime to use "that" in the situation. its just preferred not to at times.
and what about the last sentence i mentioned. did u forget. and lol. i take a foreign language i know that. but a couple corrections including one of ur last, change the meaning. just sayin~~

and no one is saying masa cant be corrected. dont make statements that werent said. what usually happens seems to be dialogue about perfecting the lyrics

----------------------
i agree with Mitkki i think. as long as the original meaning is portrayed
__________________

Ayu 💛 JASMINE 💛 Hikki 💛 Eiko 💛 MELL
♡ MUCC ♡


Twitter


Last edited by primavera♥; 16th July 2010 at 04:45 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 16th July 2010, 04:57 AM
Kogepan_19 Kogepan_19 is offline
from your letter Initiate
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 395
GRACE - There doesn't HAVE to be a verb before "that". The "no" in Japanese after "chikatta" turns the phrase prior into a noun. To give you a few examples, please fill in blanks yourself into lines such as "His promise that _____ is _____" or "My promise that _____ will not _____". It's the same as "Our promise that _____ is _____". Japanese to English translation is already difficult in itself, and in that phrase the action of "promising" between the two people is more of the topic. Really though...this is only a translation on a forum and not some research paper on Japanese language translation.

"Because our promise is that we would share everything is not a lie at all" does not even make sense at all.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 16th July 2010, 05:04 AM
Catzi's Avatar
Catzi Catzi is offline
no more words Initiate
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Planet Peart
Posts: 2,811
I love that last line. Thank you masa! =)
__________________


~ last.fm ~ crochet blog ~ twitter ~

Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 16th July 2010, 05:07 AM
GRACE's Avatar
GRACE GRACE is offline
winding road Initiate
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: US of A, New England is love~
Posts: 7,468
ignore me, I totally didn't see the "is" after "everything" until JUST now. So I'm wrong, sorry for the fighting LOL
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 16th July 2010, 05:08 AM
primavera♥'s Avatar
primavera♥ primavera♥ is offline
WE WISH Initiate
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 4,089
Quote:
Originally Posted by GRACE View Post
Maybe so, but they're obnoxious. Take his translation of Real me, "We cannot always be so good girls." No, it should be "We cannot always be such good girls." That's just one example. I don't have the energy to go through and pick out every example from his backlog.

And explain to me how it changed the meaning? Since the sentence written the first way states "Because our promise that we would share everything is not a lie at all" That doesn't actually SAY anything. Is "that we would share everything is not a lie at all" a description of what the promise is? Then how would the word "is" change the entire meaning?
edit: well i had a whole explanation for you. but u seemed to figure it out yourself ^__~ good job
__________________

Ayu 💛 JASMINE 💛 Hikki 💛 Eiko 💛 MELL
♡ MUCC ♡


Twitter

Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
浜崎 あゆみ, 浜崎あゆみ, blossom, hamasaki ayumi, masa

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 02:32 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2023, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.