But even then Masa, I'm singing. Hamasaki Ayumi is still alive.

The story of the start and the end (of love) hidden in the birth of a diva.

"The 'Hamasaki Ayumi' we created has become a monster both you and I (Masa and Ayu) can't control anymore"

What changed Ayu, the plain girl from Hakata who came to Tokyo, was meeting a certain producer. Soon falling in love with each other, "Hamasaki Ayumi" was shot into stardom in the blink of an eye. However, the end came unexpectedly quickly...

Ayu and Nagase's relationship was comparable to a Hollywood relationship in terms of the affection and attention they got from the public, and that although some people thought the fact she married/divorced twice was due to the effects of her long relationship with Nagase, it was actually the strongest "pillar" in her life, Matsuura.

Ayu then moved to Tokyo with her mother and grandmother (father was out of the picture) when she was scouted as an actress, and supported her family that way. Then in the VIP section of Velfarre, a disco in Roppongi, she met Matsuura. Initially she had been a part of a 3-4 person group and told to do the vocals, which she was against because she didn't have the cooperative nature to do so, citing her previous report cards saying "let's work harder" in cooperating in class. She said she'd be able to live on her own, but had difficulty with others.

Matsuura said he wanted her by herself, and started her solo. Ayu (who we all know wrote her lyrics), said everything she wrote was like a love letter to Matsuura, who she'd fallen in love with; she also said "every word that came to her head was about that someone."

Not having immediate success, even Matsuura was ready to punch a television studio worker when they said "she isn't popular."

Unable to keep control of her feelings, she confessed them to Matsuura. Recently divorced, he showed up at Ayu's house and told her mother that they're dating. Having moved in together, Ayu started calling him "Masa," which set off Avex who were staunchly against it. Matsuura explained it away, saying "nothing can beat love."

Since this was right before her big break, she was extra careful, listing Matsuura as "M" in her phone.

Soon after, both became extremely busy, and started to only pass by each other, losing a lot of the time they were able to spend together. In '99, she visited the apartment Matsuura was sleeping over in to find him surrounded by staff and other beautiful women at a party. Shocked, Ayu stayed in a hotel for about two days.

This depression/shock allegedly came out in her three singles the following year: vogue, Far away, and SEASONS.

Ayu was more earnest/honest in her thoughts, while Matsuura was trying to push the product of "Hamasaki Ayumi" more. This created too large of a gap between them, so she ended the relationship at the end of 1999.

An insider said, "it was right for her to break up with him, because it's possible we wouldn't have gotten the hit songs we did. She even became 40% of Avex's total revenue alone."

The insider also thinks by releasing this book, Ayu and Matsuura trying to go back to the start line. "By laying it all bare, no matter how uncouth she may be seen, she's still just as cool now as she was during her peak years."

Interspersed with her lyrics, you'll want to listen to her music again when you finish the book.