About A Song for XX

[vampireknightzero]

Sorry if this has been asked before...

For ASFXX, the lyrics for the last part of the song isn't it "sonna fuu ni mawari ga ieba iu hodo ni", but why does Ayu sing "sonna fuu ni anata ga ieba iu hodo ni" in the dome tour 2001, countdown live 2000-2001 and in some other shows? Are they supposed to mean the same or I heard them wrongly, or did she change the lyrics abit?

[Aga-chan]

Yes, ayu changed the lyrics from "mawari" (the people around her) to "anata" (you). The reason could be that maybe she figured that she meant a specific person (her mother) and not everyone. Or maybe she thought that despite the fact that several people say the same, it hurts the most coming from that one person.

[wyien]

Hey there vampireknightzero! (; Well, me being a fan of A Song for XX, I think I've asked the same question before. I've been trying and trying to decipher the song but till today, I admit, I still can't understand it completely. It's just too emotional.
As Ayu had said, while she was writing ASFXX the words became so real. To my guessing, she wrote the song partly because of her dad's betrayal.
Anyway, my answer to why there was a change in lyrics - which I think you should just take as a personal view, is plainly due to mental characteristics.
She was pressed to create happy songs but ASFXX came in too emotional and devastating - that's why she couldn't be too direct saying things like: 'the more YOU said things like that..' but rather, blur things and make things seem more friendly like: 'the more PEOPLE AROUND said things like that..'
Yep, there was a change in lyrics but they were not meant to mean the same. Whenever she does lives, she gets very emotional thanks to her songs. That explains why she changes the lyrics some time or add in some other phrases.
I believe the 'anata ga' was meant to be the original lyrics instead of 'mawari ga' as she always perform the song with a change of lyrics. Yes, she was 'lying' in ASFXX for that phrase.
Whenever she does a live, she gets too emotional and it surfaces.
I just believe it was all due to her mental characteristics - that's all. I hope this does answer your question vampireknightzero.
Are u also a fan of Ayu's older songs? Your signature features a pic of her in her older lives right? I hope I answered your question. Not a very good one, i know. D:

[Aga-chan]

^That could also be a reason, but she didn't say anything officially so far, did she? All we can do is speculate.
Well, she was expected to make "happy" songs, but it seems she had more freedom when it came to the album songs. See "POWDER SNOW". So it's still a question if she hid the true meaning or if it was something she noticed afterwards. Maybe she wanted the song to be unspecific, because the original lyrics don't contain any personal pronouns.

[vampireknightzero]

Wow thanks for all the answers! They're insightful! Anyway for this part,

They always said I was a strong child.
They praised me, saying "you must be strong not to cry."
The more people said things like that,
the more even laughing became agony.

Who are the 'they' Ayu is referring to?

I guess Ayu is a really emotional person, ASFXX is my fav Ayu song, and I'm glad to appreciate her lyrics. Didn't know so many stories were behind this song..

wyien- Yep I love her older songs more than her new ones, somehow I feel a greater connection to her older songs

[Aga-chan]

"They" are the people around her. I'd say mainly adults, family (mother), perhaps neighbours, teachers.
I could imagine a situation like this: A child stumbles and falls and its parent says "Stop crying. Look how great ayu is, she doesn't cry". But they didn't understand the reason why she wasn't crying. And that's maybe why laughing became painful, too.

Here a quote from the "A Song for XX" liner notes.

2. “A Song for xx” (Music/Arrangement: Yasuhiko Hoshino)
When we were making the album, this was the first track we produced. I always start off with lyrics by coming up with them in my head, and then writing them down after they’re perfectly ready. But with this song, even though I had the lyrics in my head, I couldn’t write. When I put them into words, it just became too real, and it took a long time for me to finally make that step.
I wrote the lyrics looking back on my childhood, and so their theme is the doubts and anxieties I had, and the things I felt. Because it’s about something so long ago, I could have hidden things if I wanted to, or I could have made myself into a more loveable child, or I could have made it a more beautiful story. But I don’t want to write lies, and I think that if I did those things I probably wouldn’t have been able to have made this album.

I thought that part would be important.

[wyien]

Hey there! WOW. Aga-chan seems to know a lot! Yes! That's where I got the source from, she saying the song became very real. I guess Aga-chan does know a lot, esp about the song!
I'm still trying to understand the song. I want to understand it badly. It seems like the emotions of this song is just too overpowering.
Yup, my overall 'discovery' is that A Song for XX is about Ayu's childhood and about her dad's betrayal. Probably her family members or relatives were like saying; "Aww, poor Ayu. Yet you're still so strong not to cry about what your daddy did.." Or something, bla.
Ayu simply fascinates me when she described my feeling some time ago and now I'm just one hard-core lover of her and her songs, and desperately trying to decipher each and every one of them.
Can Aga-chan tell me what u think of the song? Maybe you can send me a personal message or something. I'm really dying to know what A Song for XX means and what she went through.

[wyien]

Whenever I feel despair or pressed, or simply down, there's no doubt I'll immediately turn over to the song. The tune matches perfectly and sometimes the words too, though I don't understand the true emotions and depth of this song and am trying to.
WOW. Thanks Aga-chan for explaining! XD Erm, I think Ayu can't rly explain or perfectly describe the pain and emotions of ASFXX but only describe the scenerio, like the intense pain she feels whenever 'they praise her of being strong'.
I've been doing some searches and a good source is masa.
Anyway, one thing I may say is that one time I was watching this investigative show about kidnappings and one specific kidnapping case features an abused child, who was abused by her kidnapper and later abducted by him. Throughout the entire show I was just mumbling and mumbling about how strong the victim is and how strong she is esp in holding back her tears. Then, as I literally went on and on, I remember: 'They always say I'm a strong girl, even praised me as great as I didn't cry.' And I was shocked.
Yes, I still don't understand the song and am dying to! XD That's one example Ayu probably went through and instead of saying things Ayu would like to hear (during that time, probably) her admirers simply said things that added on to her hurt. So yea.
ASFXX FC!