apologies to the moderations and people at ahs

[ayufan-]

Wow i thought you was from a secte (or how is that called) and wanted to get followers online. But now i see a human with feelings, I'll acept your apologizes but don't forgot the past can't be erased. There Will always be people who think at you as for what you did. I hope you learned from your mistakes and know how to " behave" in the future

[Enfluerage]

many people here might form some kind of opinion of me.

again, i'll like to apologise to the people here for breaking the rules. i neglected reading the rules, and i accept the infringement points etc. i'm sorry i didn't read all the replies (there were so many negative replies) - i only realised my mistake when i received the private message from the moderators. people had all these unpleasant comments about me, but in reality, i was just writing what these songs mean to me, truthfully.

yes, it seems "intense" etc. but these are exactly what i think about them. if a person were to honestly write down what they thought (without caring about what others think), you too might write similarly.

did any of hamasaki ayumi's songs mean a lot to you when you had relationship issues, had a fight with your parents? when you lost a job? were you every horribly sad when you listened to hamasaki ayumi's songs? if you recorded your exact feelings at the time, i'm sure they'd be intense to.

i'm a busy person, i don't need to be writing in this forum.
i have a blog elsewhere where i write about beautiful things in life:
i write about:
- my friend who lives in a 5 million dollar house but would hug a homeless guy,
- a guy who travels midnight by taxi to ensure you get home safely, he'd walk out of a restaurant in the middle of a meal to buy tissue papers for those eating.
- a friend who would sacrifice studying for an exam to wait over 5 hours at an airport for a friend, whose flight was delayed.
- my friend who keeps friends together since kindergarten (over 20 years) and is always kind to them.
- a friend who would sacrifice a concert ticket to stay with you.
- friends who wait hours and hours at a hospital, week after week for another who is in a coma.
these true stories i write about, are not of a particular culture, reli[...]on, country etc.

people like reading the stories i write about, because they are inspired to become better people.

it was one of the biggest shocks in my life when i realised my real life observation of real people are identical to hamasaki ayumi's songs. for so many years i listened to her songs, i always remembered the meanings of her songs, without truly understanding them.

i have two degrees, including one with first class honours, you are free to think of me as some kind of crazy person.

i have a good job and plenty of savings (more than enough to fly 10,000 km overseas to watch hamasaki ayumi's concerts), seriously i don't need anything from you, i'll probably never meet you in real life in person.

i've read so much about Greek, Roman, Japanese, Mongolian, Chinese, Persian, French, English, Turkish, Saracen,
modern history, cultural history, miltary history, but you are free to think i live in some kind of dreamland.

i've travelled so much of the world, and meet so many different people of different cultures, but you are free to think i'm not down to earth.

i know so much about famous people in history: Washington, Gandhi, Schweitzer, Newton, Florence Nightingale etc.

i've read so much about philosophies of life, i really like meeting people to learn from others and their opinions.

one of my best friends says: "be urself wherever you go, because life is too short to blend in",
i say "choose who you choose to be" and i agree our time on earth is too short to blend in.

in real life, on the outside, people generally consider me to be a nice, sincere, kind person.

i'm also one of the scariest people they've ever met.
i'm so scary because i can make grown men and women cry.

my way of thinking is so independent of "worldly expectations", that when i tell someone how beautiful they are,
sometimes, they start crying because in their hearts they know how true my words are.
they start crying because i've tried my hardest to ensure my words are uniquely me and free.

very few people in the world see the way i do, because most people blend in.
most people wear certain fashion to please other's expectations
most people say things to please other's expectations
most people study to please other's expectations
most people blend in to please other's expectations.

and so, why do i still persist to write here, when i get so much negative feedback?
because i don't care about blending in. i agree though to abide by the rules and regulations of this forum.

because i would like to say just how truly beautiful hamasaki ayumi's songs are:
because i believe choice is beautiful, you can choose to accept or reject my writings.

in my opinion:

1) her songs are truly beautiful.
2) you can apply so many of her songs to different problems in your life.
3) if you remember her songs, they will protect you
4) if you remember her songs, they will make you better people.

5) hamasaki ayumi basically writes the same identical song over and over again.
Have a look at the lyrics of Last Angel

I believe you can hear me
I want to tell you
"This bell sound announcing The End
Bears no sad tone at all"
I'm by your side, I'm holding you
I accept you as you are

The only and the last one
There is such a Love

compare the above lyrics with who...

(i'll quote the lyrics of who... )

who ...
who didn't give up on me
i'll never forget
i pray you forever hear my voice.

again, i apologise for being rude. you are free to believe me or not. but if you have some time, have a look at the video clip of M yourself.

perhaps you'll understand why i keep saying there is a very good reason why her songs are truly beautiful.