Ayumi ~ The Anything Goes Thread 7 ~

[Delirium-Zer0]

PROS:
-The TA magazine is much better in person. Sometimes pages don't even get scanned. When they do, the texture of the page means they often scan badly.
-OMG THE STUFF. TA members get stuff every so often throughout the year - random novelties. Since becoming a member I've gotten an A logo headphone clip, a keyring, a flashlight that shines the TeamAyu logo in a circle, magnets, new year's & other random cards, a charm, the 15th anniversary puzzle... it's good times. Ordering from mu-mo gets you fun TA logo stuff if you like, too, or the mu-mo first press item is an option too.
-Access to the TA section of her official site. It doesn't have as much as it used to, but now you don't have to wait for other fans to upload screensavers, and if you learn Japanese you can read ayu's blog/diary entries yourself instead of waiting for translations.
-Access to the FC website at fc.avex.jp/ayu -> this one has older news stories, copies of the emails you get, and things like...
-Giveaways. You can win things from time to time, as with the 15th Anniversary Live quiz that happened recently. If you want a shot, get your magazine out of your tenso box ASAP though, because they're almost always announced in TA magazine - I frequently miss giveaways because of this x_x

Cons:
-The website is split between fc.avex.jp and teamayu.com-slash-ayu's-official-site (which is one site now). It's hard to navigate, especially if your japanese is not so good.
-Fans keep uploading the screensavers, which makes the download part of the website not so worth it.
-If you want the TeamAyu first press merchandise AND the mu-mo first press merchandise for a CD that comes out, you have to order two copies - you used to be able to get both back in 2011 and early 2012.
-TA members get a bunch of stuff that really only works if you're in japan, for example, things you can buy or win at concerts. Not to mention first dibs on concert tickets.
-Even if you're in Japan, first dibs on concert tickets doesn't mean automatically good seats.
-Even though Ayu has acknowledged publicly on Twitter that she has overseas fans who are members, and even though Avex & mu-mo have worked with Tenso to help OS fans, they still offer no services in English.

That's about it I like the stuff and the blog access, to me that's worth it. I do wish they were more understanding about English-speaking fans though.

[Andrenekoi]

Originally Posted by Delirium-Zer0

Well, and alot of the mixing and studio work is not good. That's just the truth.

1) The processing on Timmy's bg vocals is not great about half the time you hear him, and they very nearly ruin Return Road. They didn't multi-track him enough or add enough reverb or something. In BRILLANTE he sounded epic & operatic but in Return Road he sounds synthesized and cheesy.

2) The sound effects in ESM are distracting. I understand the thought behind them - in moderation they could have added to the song in a clever way, but they were overdone and mixed too loud. They sound cartoony, and not in an effective way.

HOWEVER. If you look at the lyrics - I mean REALLY look at them - she's talking about alcoholism, post-traumatic stress, loneliness, the meaninglessness of the more outwardly fun aspects of her life. It's a great examination of the shallow versus the deep, and the fact that even though Ayu has come to terms with her past self, there is still a sharp division between the product Hamasaki Ayumi and the person Ayu, and she's not sure "Hamasaki Ayumi" isn't winning - the shallow Hamasaki Ayumi persona is getting bigger, and she's not sure where the product ends and the real person "ayu" begins. You can hear this in songs like "Letter" and "Tell me why" where it sounds like she's singing to herself.

And most of the arrangement choices on the album have a point - NaNaNa is a clear tribute to Keiko after Ayu almost lost her to that hemorrhage, for example. More honest songs have more real, non-synth instruments (call, Letter, reminds me); songs that are more sarcastic & whose lyrics deliberately hide pain have more shiny & colorful arrangements (Party Queen, Shake It <3); the songs that are saddest are more often in a minor key (reminds me, Tell me why).

And then there's the very end of the "how beautiful you are" PV, which is part of the whole thing. She seems like this angel who's guiding everyone, but at the end she's fighting against the same wind they are.

Aside from that video, most of the visual parts of the "Party Queen" product don't really work that well. The original SUPER AYU shoot being used for the booklet was a better choice thematically than the original shots - which ended up in the final SUPER AYU book - but because they weren't taken SPECIFICALLY for the album, they don't QUITE do the job. Ayu chose the photos to depict the messy, lonely, empty room after a party the night before - lamps are turned over, there's booze on the table with breakfast. She was hoping to show a self-destructive pattern in that booklet but the photos were taken with a more sexy, fun, kinda trashy attitude in mind, not a tragic one. So her facial expressions don't contribute to the real theme of the album. The PVs are the same way - we only see fun, from the outside. The tragic consequences aren't emphasized enough, if they're shown at all.

So musically, for the most part, yeah I think the album is great. I just think the visuals made it hard to understand what she was doing.

I love Party Queen, IMO Ayu doesn't have much amazing albums as a whole (they work as collections of strong tracks, like Secret or RnRC, but not as a whole package), but this one is among them... And I have to disagree with you.

Do Britney Spears, Amy Whinehouse, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Amanda Bynes or any other celebrity going through a self-destructive moment/life looked like they were sad while doing those stuff? We as a public find their situation to be sad, but it's not like they were depressed crying over their own fate. It's not like they believed there was anything wrong with them or that they needed help.

And this is why I find the PQ art to be to brilliant and fitting: Ayu looks as happy as she usually does when her glamourous life is portrayed... And them you start looking for details and the hints that something is wrong start appearing... The booze, the trashed hotel rooms, Ayu happily drinking whiskey during daytime like an alcoholic. The character on the pics isn't aware her world is falling apart, but we as the viewers are informed about it on EVERY MOMENT of the photoshoot... It's like watching that friend of yours that you know that have a problem with substance abuse (being it legal or ilegal drugs) posting pics on Facebook of they partying and drinking and doing all that crazy "fun" stuff, but it feels wrong because nobody should be getting drunk everyday of the week.

[emi♡]

^I think that's fine, but, um at the same time, yeah, I agree with Deli in that, I don't think it was a message that was easily conveyed or executed AS well maybe.

And it's not very accessible at all to most people.


This is actually like the ONLY reason why I have respect for this album, because it really shows and emphasizes the line between art for the masses and art for people who intellectually and academically understand it.

Because Ayu is, and has ALWAYS been, a mainstream, pop artist and someone who was supposed to appeal to the masses. And she has become someone who has found this balance between making music that is easy to listen to, with easily accessible themes and messages, and making music that is a deep expression of herself on a level that you usually only see with singer/songwriter types.


So here we have Party Queen with these visuals that are only understood by a few people.

And it brings up the question of where is this line for Ayu. Who is she supposed to appealing to. Where is her focus? Why is she doing this.


Now personally, that sort of thing, isn't always really important to me. I just want to see what she is capable of producing. But I think for a lot of people, that simple question of "who is this targeted towards" really gives them an understanding of what what the artist is -trying- to do, so then they feel comfortable with the music, and once people are comfortable with an idea, they can start connecting it to other things, and making it relateable.

Connecting with your audience is kinda important And especially when deciding when and how people will like something.

People tend to not like things that they don't understand, and a lot of times it makes them completely question it's validity, which is hurtful for an artist, and especially a mainstream sort of artist.


I am so -talky- today. I'm sorry. I apologize lol It's a weird day.


BUT either way. This is music, and I think we're kind of lucky that we get such grand visuals at all lol She's not gonna be perfect, unless she makes things super "easy". I really liked the contrast, but I agree that it makes it harder to connect all together.

[hayasaki]

Originally Posted by Delirium-Zer0

PROS:
-The TA magazine is much better in person. Sometimes pages don't even get scanned. When they do, the texture of the page means they often scan badly.
-OMG THE STUFF. TA members get stuff every so often throughout the year - random novelties. Since becoming a member I've gotten an A logo headphone clip, a keyring, a flashlight that shines the TeamAyu logo in a circle, magnets, new year's & other random cards, a charm, the 15th anniversary puzzle... it's good times. Ordering from mu-mo gets you fun TA logo stuff if you like, too, or the mu-mo first press item is an option too.
-Access to the TA section of her official site. It doesn't have as much as it used to, but now you don't have to wait for other fans to upload screensavers, and if you learn Japanese you can read ayu's blog/diary entries yourself instead of waiting for translations.
-Access to the FC website at fc.avex.jp/ayu -> this one has older news stories, copies of the emails you get, and things like...
-Giveaways. You can win things from time to time, as with the 15th Anniversary Live quiz that happened recently. If you want a shot, get your magazine out of your tenso box ASAP though, because they're almost always announced in TA magazine - I frequently miss giveaways because of this x_x

Cons:
-The website is split between fc.avex.jp and teamayu.com-slash-ayu's-official-site (which is one site now). It's hard to navigate, especially if your japanese is not so good.
-Fans keep uploading the screensavers, which makes the download part of the website not so worth it.
-If you want the TeamAyu first press merchandise AND the mu-mo first press merchandise for a CD that comes out, you have to order two copies - you used to be able to get both back in 2011 and early 2012.
-TA members get a bunch of stuff that really only works if you're in japan, for example, things you can buy or win at concerts. Not to mention first dibs on concert tickets.
-Even if you're in Japan, first dibs on concert tickets doesn't mean automatically good seats.
-Even though Ayu has acknowledged publicly on Twitter that she has overseas fans who are members, and even though Avex & mu-mo have worked with Tenso to help OS fans, they still offer no services in English.

That's about it I like the stuff and the blog access, to me that's worth it. I do wish they were more understanding about English-speaking fans though.

Thank you so much for these info! It's really of a great help. i appreciate it. Really! I've always been thinking about this. i just had the urge to join when this CDL was announced. I was worried of not getting seats. Anyway, perhaps one plus for me cuz i'm in japan and I can reserve tickets right away (or am i wrong?). Is there an option there to make payments thru convinient Shops?

[pommy48]

Doesn't TA come with English translations now?

[Andrenekoi]

Originally Posted by emi♡

^I think that's fine, but, um at the same time, yeah, I agree with Deli in that, I don't think it was a message that was easily conveyed or executed AS well maybe.

And it's not very accessible at all to most people.


This is actually like the ONLY reason why I have respect for this album, because it really shows and emphasizes the line between art for the masses and art for people who intellectually and academically understand it.

Because Ayu is, and has ALWAYS been, a mainstream, pop artist and someone who was supposed to appeal to the masses. And she has become someone who has found this balance between making music that is easy to listen to, with easily accessible themes and messages, and making music that is a deep expression of herself on a level that you usually only see with singer/songwriter types.


So here we have Party Queen with these visuals that are only understood by a few people.

And it brings up the question of where is this line for Ayu. Who is she supposed to appealing to. Where is her focus? Why is she doing this.


Now personally, that sort of thing, isn't always really important to me. I just want to see what she is capable of producing. But I think for a lot of people, that simple question of "who is this targeted towards" really gives them an understanding of what what the artist is -trying- to do, so then they feel comfortable with the music, and once people are comfortable with an idea, they can start connecting it to other things, and making it relateable.

Connecting with your audience is kinda important And especially when deciding when and how people will like something.

People tend to not like things that they don't understand, and a lot of times it makes them completely question it's validity, which is hurtful for an artist, and especially a mainstream sort of artist.


I am so -talky- today. I'm sorry. I apologize lol It's a weird day.


BUT either way. This is music, and I think we're kind of lucky that we get such grand visuals at all lol She's not gonna be perfect, unless she makes things super "easy". I really liked the contrast, but I agree that it makes it harder to connect all together.

Any popstar on a similar position with a long term career need to balance the safest pop possible with bolder material, the first to keep them selling and the later because a long term career needs the artist to be constantly renovating themselves.

If the balance isn't found, the artist gets expelled from the pop game... Being overly bold obviously takes them out of the mainstream (Shiina Ringo, started as one of the 00s biggest stars, and now she has respect as an artist, but she isn't selling to the mainstream public anymore), being overly safe makes their music irrelevant (Celine Dion, who is a highly successful live act, but most of her repertoire is made of old classics and safe covers).

Also, Ayu's public IS ageing... Some people who were part of her target public during her peak is around 30, and the complexity of her releases must reflect this ageing... Actually, this is something that part of her fanbase seens to have a hard time understanding... Ayu can't compete with current younger stars because teenagers hate old people :V, so, even if she can (and must) flirt with younger audiences with lighter releases, she has a better chance of selling to adults. But this isn't something exclusive to her (or her fanbase), Madonna is playing this game since the 90's, Britney since her breakdown and Beyoncé since 2011

I do believe she is doing pretty ok at that... Overall her only era without a single that could become a classic on her discography (no fan favorites, no minnor hits) is Party Queen, what is actually pretty impressive considering she is releasing albums every year for almost 16 years...

[Delirium-Zer0]

Originally Posted by pommy48

Doesn't TA come with English translations now?

No, they kinda stopped after the photobook was released. booooo.

Originally Posted by hayasaki

Is there an option there to make payments thru convinient Shops?

Actually, as I recall, that was the only way to do it - kiosks at convenience stores. And you have to do it by a certain date or your tickets are forfeited, which means even for TA members planning trips to Japan towards the end of a tour, we can't take advantage of the advance sales.

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

And them you start looking for details and the hints that something is wrong start appearing...

What's funny is that I'd COMPLETELY agree with you, if not for the fact that all the visual "little details" contradict each other.

Look at what we have:
-The date on the mirror, which (when it was photographed in mid-2011) would have been a tribute to Aneki since Keiko hadn't had her hemorrhage yet. The facial expression on the hbya page bothers me - she's making one of her puckered-up flirty faces at the camera. It really doesn't work. It's a HUGE mismatch.

-Roses & rose petals: love? romance? the finer, more expensive things in life? Funeral flowers? At first glance, they seem like meaningless decorative elements, perhaps flowers from admirers. And when you delve in... they still look like meaningless decorative elements. Roses have had various symbolic meanings throughout history and we can't pinpoint one here.

-Shoes. TONS of shoes. To most audiences, that's just gonna symbolize shoes. Probably cues for money, wealth. If you read into it you can find "waste" but man some people just love shoes. Again, looking at the booklet for the first time, this is just a show of wealth and fun excess, and doesn't change meaning with further context.

-Jack Daniels with breakfast. That's our first hint ayu might have a problem. That's clearly someone with a problem if they're drinking first thing in the morning.

-Ayu and Timmy laughing at the breakfast table. This plus ayu's face by the mirror are the two things that bother me most about this booklet. I mean that's friendship, that's connection. That's something she sings about NOT having on the album - why is it here?? And that's not regret the morning after - that's just letting the party continue. It doesn't fit. If she'd taken these photos with the "Party Queen = self-destruction" concept in mind, I think she'd have left that out.

-the "reminds me" pages have two ayus - a sexy "take me now" face on one page, and a staring-at-the-ceiling "what did I do last night" face on the other. This was actually VERY good, though maybe not for that specific song.

-The Return Road pages have the toppled-over lamps as a sign something went wrong among the busy, fashionable goings-on from the "FIVE" photo shoot in this room. Another fairly good one.

-The ESM page has ayu passed out on the table among her jewelry. With a bottle of smirnoff in or next to her hand, this photo would have been flawless for this booklet. As it is, it just looks like she fell asleep looking at her nice expensive stuff.

The booklet, on the surface, shows only the sort of party life that normal people sort of dream of getting to experience, which is the problem. Too many fans looked at this and thought it looked "fun." Even when you look for details, things like her facial expressions, Timmy's presence, and the relatively harmless "mess" left in this hotel room are all detracting from the message that in reality, this is NOT GOOD.

If ayu is on a journey of self-examination through this album, realizing she has a problem and needs to fix it, the album booklet should have gradually gotten darker as it went. It should have done away with "details" that were positive. She should have looked gradually more and more sad and less like she was having fun hanging out. As it is, she looks flirty when she shouldn't. She looks happy when she shouldn't. She never looks embarrassed. She never looks sad.

I'd give ANYTHING for the little details to hold the answer to this album art, as you suggest - but it's just not the case, because the details behind the happy fun facade tell two entirely different stories.

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

Shiina Ringo, started as one of the 00s biggest stars, and now she has respect as an artist, but she isn't selling to the mainstream public anymore

When "Heisei Fuuzoku" came out there were posters for it EVERYWHERE and it was a #1 album. When she released "sanmon GOSSIP" in 2009 (her latest album of all original material) it, likewise, hit number one. She isn't selling to the mainstream public like she used to because she's not releasing like she used to - it was 6 years between KSK and "sanmon GOSSIP" because she was working with Tokyo Jihen in the interim... and oh look at that, all their albums were commercial successes as well - three number ones, two number twos. Not sure why you used her as an example.

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

Also, Ayu's public IS ageing... Some people who were part of her target public during her peak is around 30, and the complexity of her releases must reflect this ageing... Actually, this is something that part of her fanbase seens to have a hard time understanding...

I actually completely agree with you here. Party Queen made me happy because it felt like Ayu from the A Song for XX era now singing about grown-up problems. Most of her albums are pretty generic, although very well-put-together pop. But Ayu started flirting TOO much with a younger audience in a sad effort to not be 30, and most fans from before about the MY STORY era wandered off to other stuff cuz Ayu was trying to do pop music, not honest music that happened to be pop. She also was kind of in a bubble and not moving forward with the times quite enough, which was hard to deal with because she was so ahead of her time for so long.

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

even if she can (and must) flirt with younger audiences with lighter releases, she has a better chance of selling to adults.

I think one major issue with PQ is that she needed to do an album like it YEARS before she did. It was too little too late - because there were no singles, no one really realized it was coming out except for fans; and the fans that would have enjoyed it most abandoned her 6 or 7 years earlier.

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

Overall her only era without a single that could become a classic on her discography (no fan favorites, no minnor hits) is Party Queen...

But there technically WERE no singles for PQ lol... but I know what you mean. And that's because these songs don't work on their own as well as they work in the context of the album. I think she needed to do a whole music film for this album, telling the story of a Party Queen hitting rock bottom & having to climb back up again. It could have been amazing, really, and Ayu would have been perfectly capable of it. PQ COULD have been her magnum opus if she'd worked on the mixing & the visuals JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE, you know?

[Andrenekoi]

^But the booklet isn't an independent piece, it's a visual support for the music, and IMO it works perfectly this way... The booklet represents the Party Queen, the girl she sings about on the first 3 tracks, and you see it and think "oh, party, fun!" until you actually listen to the album... IMO this way they make an 1+1=3 effect, as the visuals and the music change your perception of each other... Having the booklet deal with the same themes on the same level, even on a different light, would make it redundant instead of making it a whole package IMO.

About her fandom wanting a mature album, I'm not so sure... Most of the time by "mature" they mean "over-dramatic generic single". Actually, people are always complaining she should release her winter and summer singles, that are by far her most generic and safest releases to date.

IMO her music aged well... Rock'n'Roll Circus being the "not full adult, not totally teenager album" and Love songs onwards being pretty much grown up subjects...

Tracks like Microphone, Don't Look Back, Count Down and Last Links deal with adult subjects... Being either her relationship to her art, her hearing loss, the current moment of her career.

Love songs have her most realistic love song to date IMO (November), her take on mariage is surprisingly fresh and mature (Virgin Road), she discusses her love/sex life on a quite open way (Last Angel), as is her reflections on her life decisions (crossroad) and the way she confronts the love/hate relationship artists have with their work (Love song/Do it again). Sweet Season video is basically the Party Queen concept.

And even if I'm not a big fan of the album, the relationship analysis Love Again makes is REALLY interesting and mature on the way she didn't try not making fun of it on the way the album ends with a song that throws it back to the begining, making it an endless circle of being blind in love, fucking up the relationship, recovering just to fall blindly in love again... In a way, it's the conclusion of the "Love triology" started on Love songs on her search for love and then going through her personal problems with it during Party Queen (that is on a way an album vastily about love).

I don't know... I'm just pretty satisfied with her career... I don't think she is in any kind of bubble or anything, most of the time I just feel like her fans are annoyed because she actually isn't on a bubble and moved over from her teen angst/bubblegum moments.

---

About Shiina, I used her as an example because I wanted succesful people, not someone who can't be seen as a popstar because they fail at it (on the same way I used Celine because she makes a ton of money every year performing) I never said she was selling bad, just that she isn't aiming the mainstream... She does have a mainstream recognization, as she was once comparable to Ayu or Hikki, but it has been a while since she seemed to give a fuck about doing radio friendly music or acting all idol. She wouldn't and won't be competing with the AKB48's, Perfume's, Namie's and Koda's as she doesn't even have the same public. Ayu or Hikki on the other way... She is more Bjork than Madonna.

[Delicious n Bold]

I swear all the weird stuff happens when I get back into Ayu
A mess

Anyway, I've recently realized that, although I prefer electronic music, ayu's music really speaks to me. You have to have some sort of taste for her voice, but her image, music sound and lyrics are really something else.
Lately I've been listening to a lot of perfume and namie but I can't really 'like' them since they're not too involved with their careers. I like their producers more. But I know Ayu has a say and her say is THE law or something.
Also I really like ASfXX and love songs so I can't really stop listening to Ayu
And ayu's mid tempos
Love midtempos
And loveppears
And 90% of secret
And the latter half of guilty

I won't say I stan for Ayu. I don't even like the word.
But she'll always have a place in my heart.
(Just like Angela aki)

[Livey~]

Originally Posted by Delicious n Bold

And 90% of secret

90%?

[tsumekaze_]

Originally Posted by Delirium-Zer0

PROS:
-The TA magazine is much better in person. Sometimes pages don't even get scanned. When they do, the texture of the page means they often scan badly.
-OMG THE STUFF. TA members get stuff every so often throughout the year - random novelties. Since becoming a member I've gotten an A logo headphone clip, a keyring, a flashlight that shines the TeamAyu logo in a circle, magnets, new year's & other random cards, a charm, the 15th anniversary puzzle... it's good times. Ordering from mu-mo gets you fun TA logo stuff if you like, too, or the mu-mo first press item is an option too.
-Access to the TA section of her official site. It doesn't have as much as it used to, but now you don't have to wait for other fans to upload screensavers, and if you learn Japanese you can read ayu's blog/diary entries yourself instead of waiting for translations.
-Access to the FC website at fc.avex.jp/ayu -> this one has older news stories, copies of the emails you get, and things like...
-Giveaways. You can win things from time to time, as with the 15th Anniversary Live quiz that happened recently. If you want a shot, get your magazine out of your tenso box ASAP though, because they're almost always announced in TA magazine - I frequently miss giveaways because of this x_x

Cons:
-The website is split between fc.avex.jp and teamayu.com-slash-ayu's-official-site (which is one site now). It's hard to navigate, especially if your japanese is not so good.
-Fans keep uploading the screensavers, which makes the download part of the website not so worth it.
-If you want the TeamAyu first press merchandise AND the mu-mo first press merchandise for a CD that comes out, you have to order two copies - you used to be able to get both back in 2011 and early 2012.
-TA members get a bunch of stuff that really only works if you're in japan, for example, things you can buy or win at concerts. Not to mention first dibs on concert tickets.
-Even if you're in Japan, first dibs on concert tickets doesn't mean automatically good seats.
-Even though Ayu has acknowledged publicly on Twitter that she has overseas fans who are members, and even though Avex & mu-mo have worked with Tenso to help OS fans, they still offer no services in English.

That's about it I like the stuff and the blog access, to me that's worth it. I do wish they were more understanding about English-speaking fans though.

sorry to bother but how do you get your merch shipped, assuming you live in america? doesn't it cost you a lot of money? I want to join TA but the only thing blocking me from doing so is that I wouldn't want to spend 200 euros per year just to get all those stuff shipped where i live <_<

[waterballoon]

Originally Posted by Delirium-Zer0

-Shoes. TONS of shoes. To most audiences, that's just gonna symbolize shoes. Probably cues for money, wealth. If you read into it you can find "waste" but man some people just love shoes. Again, looking at the booklet for the first time, this is just a show of wealth and fun excess, and doesn't change meaning with further context.

There's a belief that when someone gifts shoes to you, it's a forecast that that person would "walk away" from you. That could be the symbolism of the shoes.

Anyway, I stated Party Queen as her worst album in another thread. After reading your analysis (which I really loved btw, it's been ages since we have had good long discussions on her works)... I still think it's the worst (or wait that would go to NEXT LEVEL), so it's the 2nd worst

Because however "deep" and "painful" the message is, it's still a fact the visuals accompanying the album weren't really good. Everything felt very haphazard in an incoherent manner; you mentioned the booklet and yep, her facial expressions imo weren't anything "painful". She looks like a deer caught in headlights.

Plus that was the period she was most heavily influenced by Timmy & he seems like a sweet guy but that campy, fabulous, "work it gurl" attitude/look in that era screams "TOO MUCH" to me. I believe that was a really wrong direction because remember that she did the "reality vs dreams"/"ayumi hamasaki vs Ayu" EXCELLENTLY in the Sweet Season PV. Perhaps that was the start of her realization that in the end, she is that ayumi hamasaki person, and always wanted to be a human, but is very much burdened by "Ayu the product" - hence the indulgence in "merry things",leading to "lonely mornings" (excerpts from Last angel ).

Honestly I think she has felt this way since the Love songs era. She's pretty much caught between wanting to be a human and feeling that responsibility as a celebrity (cases of lyrics displaying the dilemma/confusion: SURREAL, too late, Naturally, walking proud).

She has always been "lying", putting up a sort of image of "Ayu" and hiding away "ayumi hamasaki".

When she matured as a woman and yearned for real romantic love, I think that's when the conflict started to happen. It was the Love songs era, I'm damn sure of that.

And when we move onto FIVE, it displayed even more prominently. Remember how I said I always thought the reason to her divorce being wanting to stay with Japan after the disaster a convenient excuse? I still think it is - and I think it is a catalyst. I'm not her, so I can't say how she felt towards Mannie towards March - May 2011, but the disaster came about the right time for her unfortunately.

And I think for her, as a woman, as a human, it is the easy way out to say, "I am going to stay with my man and make it work". I think she could've really wanted to at that time, but remember that she had already started to feel the painful conflict between "ayumi hamasaki" and "Ayu". The disaster in 2011 made it more obvious and she had to choose - to be "ayumi hamasaki" the human (basically try to keep her marriage together), or to be "Ayu" the product?

She chose the latter.

Leading up to 2012, in the Party Queen era and I think all her feelings have accumulated to a point where a musical release is justified. You said it was an excellent album because it really showed that conflict, but I say it started to amplify since Love songs anyways.

Last but not least, Party Queen was disgusting because there was Return Road. I hate it. I'll say it again - I abhor it. Something about using your divorce as a thematic video screams disrespect and I'm not sure who incited her to take that direction *coughTimmycough*...?

[ExodusUK]

I watched AT08 this morning..it's a good concert but such a shame about the vocals..apparently her voice was much better on the Japanese dates.

[Delirium-Zer0]

Originally Posted by tsumekaze_

sorry to bother but how do you get your merch shipped, assuming you live in america? doesn't it cost you a lot of money? I want to join TA but the only thing blocking me from doing so is that I wouldn't want to spend 200 euros per year just to get all those stuff shipped where i live <_<

I use Tenso. It does cost alot of money, but not hundreds of euros per year. You'll get items from TA about 4, MAYBE 5 times a year, without much real schedule - usually there's stuff in the spring and at the very end of the year for new year's/xmas. (Tenso will hold things for up to two months though, so it's worth waiting awhile - if a TA mag or a novelty gets sent to you, wait for that 2-month span to see if she releases a TA novelty item within that 2 months.)

A TA issue plus, say, a greeting card will cost you about 12 euros to ship from Tenso by itself, so if you ship each item to you as it comes, it ends up being about 70 euros for the year maximum, less if you're able to consolidate things (consolidation fees aren't much as long as you don't consolidate more than 3-4 packages per Tenso shipment).

I use my Tenso PO box for mu-mo, book-off, amazon.co.jp, and other purchases as well, too, so if I need anything, I've made it a habit to wait & order stuff from those places only right after a TA mag or novelty comes out, and then I save on the shipping overall.

[Andrenekoi]

Originally Posted by waterballoon

There's a belief that when someone gifts shoes to you, it's a forecast that that person would "walk away" from you. That could be the symbolism of the shoes.

Anyway, I stated Party Queen as her worst album in another thread. After reading your analysis (which I really loved btw, it's been ages since we have had good long discussions on her works)... I still think it's the worst (or wait that would go to NEXT LEVEL), so it's the 2nd worst

Because however "deep" and "painful" the message is, it's still a fact the visuals accompanying the album weren't really good. Everything felt very haphazard in an incoherent manner; you mentioned the booklet and yep, her facial expressions imo weren't anything "painful". She looks like a deer caught in headlights.

Plus that was the period she was most heavily influenced by Timmy & he seems like a sweet guy but that campy, fabulous, "work it gurl" attitude/look in that era screams "TOO MUCH" to me. I believe that was a really wrong direction because remember that she did the "reality vs dreams"/"ayumi hamasaki vs Ayu" EXCELLENTLY in the Sweet Season PV. Perhaps that was the start of her realization that in the end, she is that ayumi hamasaki person, and always wanted to be a human, but is very much burdened by "Ayu the product" - hence the indulgence in "merry things",leading to "lonely mornings" (excerpts from Last angel ).

Honestly I think she has felt this way since the Love songs era. She's pretty much caught between wanting to be a human and feeling that responsibility as a celebrity (cases of lyrics displaying the dilemma/confusion: SURREAL, too late, Naturally, walking proud).

She has always been "lying", putting up a sort of image of "Ayu" and hiding away "ayumi hamasaki".

When she matured as a woman and yearned for real romantic love, I think that's when the conflict started to happen. It was the Love songs era, I'm damn sure of that.

And when we move onto FIVE, it displayed even more prominently. Remember how I said I always thought the reason to her divorce being wanting to stay with Japan after the disaster a convenient excuse? I still think it is - and I think it is a catalyst. I'm not her, so I can't say how she felt towards Mannie towards March - May 2011, but the disaster came about the right time for her unfortunately.

And I think for her, as a woman, as a human, it is the easy way out to say, "I am going to stay with my man and make it work". I think she could've really wanted to at that time, but remember that she had already started to feel the painful conflict between "ayumi hamasaki" and "Ayu". The disaster in 2011 made it more obvious and she had to choose - to be "ayumi hamasaki" the human (basically try to keep her marriage together), or to be "Ayu" the product?

She chose the latter.

Leading up to 2012, in the Party Queen era and I think all her feelings have accumulated to a point where a musical release is justified. You said it was an excellent album because it really showed that conflict, but I say it started to amplify since Love songs anyways.

Last but not least, Party Queen was disgusting because there was Return Road. I hate it. I'll say it again - I abhor it. Something about using your divorce as a thematic video screams disrespect and I'm not sure who incited her to take that direction *coughTimmycough*...?

I would like to ask you how could you have access to the creative process of Party Queen, as you seen to have unquestionable evidence that Timmy was responsable for the album direction.

I would love to read that material you have about it. =)

[tsumekaze_]

Originally Posted by Delirium-Zer0

I use Tenso. It does cost alot of money, but not hundreds of euros per year. You'll get items from TA about 4, MAYBE 5 times a year, without much real schedule - usually there's stuff in the spring and at the very end of the year for new year's/xmas. (Tenso will hold things for up to two months though, so it's worth waiting awhile - if a TA mag or a novelty gets sent to you, wait for that 2-month span to see if she releases a TA novelty item within that 2 months.)

A TA issue plus, say, a greeting card will cost you about 12 euros to ship from Tenso by itself, so if you ship each item to you as it comes, it ends up being about 70 euros for the year maximum, less if you're able to consolidate things (consolidation fees aren't much as long as you don't consolidate more than 3-4 packages per Tenso shipment).

I use my Tenso PO box for mu-mo, book-off, amazon.co.jp, and other purchases as well, too, so if I need anything, I've made it a habit to wait & order stuff from those places only right after a TA mag or novelty comes out, and then I save on the shipping overall.

Thank you very very much for the explanation!! I didn't think about the possibility of accumulate things and get them shipped all in one. It seems rather easy and the price is not too high...I'll be thinking about signing up soon then, I want to join the beautiful family of TA. ♥ last question...is it possible to request, once TA, old good that were sent to members? like, I really REALLY want those pins from the lives ;-; thank you for your kindness!!!!

[rainbow_smile]

Oh yeah, by the way, what were those pins for? I mean, did they simply ship them to everyone who was a TA member for 2013 or how did it work?

[mi|kshake]

I'm enjoying all the Party Queen discussion - really interesting!

[Delirium-Zer0]

Originally Posted by rainbow_smile

Oh yeah, by the way, what were those pins for? I mean, did they simply ship them to everyone who was a TA member for 2013 or how did it work?

They were shipping them out to everyone who renewed their TA membership between April 8th 2013 and April 7th 2014 (Might have been April 1st to March 31st, I'm not totally sure)... My membership renews on March 10th so I'm quite impatient ~

[Delicious n Bold]

Originally Posted by Livey~

90%?

Born to be and beautiful fighters need to go tbh