How many lyrics did you write for TA?
I write for myself, but that’s for me to be free in my songs. Because that’s the place where I can be free — in that sense. However, doesn’t that in itself equal making songs for TA?
What is your large number of songs to you?
They’re children that are all standing on their own, independently.
Which song will you find yourself humming subconsciously lately?
Often Feel the love, I guess. But, for some reason, I hum the verse, not the chorus.
Do you remember anything special about the day you released your debut single?
I do remember the “poker face” period, but I was insanely busy and I don’t remember whether what I remember happened on the actual release date itself. I didn’t know anything back then. Adults would go round the record shops and bow their heads, standing next to me, saying “Please support Ayumi Hamasaki”. I thought it was normal for me to bow because this was about me, but I remember thinking bewilderedly, “Why do those adults have to bow too?”. I was grateful of course, but I think I was also quite scared, wondering what I was getting myself into. Because I got the adults around me involved, I wondered, “What’s the right thing for me to do from now on?” —
You have secret tracks of which the official lyrics haven’t been made public. Did you make those songs with that in mind from the beginning?
No. It’s not after singing either. It’s after writing the lyrics that I think I don’t want to see the lyrics in writing. I want you to listen to the words along with the music. I want them to exist only like that, how to say, the songs that I don’t want to put into writing become secret tracks.
What song took the longest to create? Not the lyrics, but the entire creation process.
Rainbow. We accepted phrases for the lyrics from TA. Creating the song with those phrases at the root took really long. Making a selection out of the large volume of words was really hard. And then there was the cycle of having the composer DAI-kun add and cut melodies for it. The sense of accomplishment was big when we finished the song, like “We did it~~!!”.
What were you thinking when you created SEASONS?
I don’t remember what I was feeling, because I had a very hectic schedule back then. I didn’t have the sensation that I had created a song that would receive so much love. But after a very long time I could admire the song, thinking “I was thinking about those kinds of things. I did good”. If I do say so myself (laughs).
Are there any other songs that you can’t sing anymore now, aside from Secret?
None in particular. I was even able to sing “poker face”, which I stubbornly hadn’t been singing, during my 15th anniversary performance. But I may not have been able to sing it without KO-chan’s choreography (laughs). I didn’t know how to sing “poker face” until then. But it naturally dug itself into the ranking*, didn’t it? (laughs). When the song got the new choreography, I finally felt, “I think I can sing it if it’s like this”.
* T/N: Fans could vote for the 15th anniversary tour setlist.
Compared to your debut and now, how did your feelings towards your fans change?
During my debut, every part of me was weak and I didn’t have any confidence. But now, if anyone in TA is unable to get back up, I’m confident and strong enough to lead that person by the hand. In the past, if I’d take someone’s hand, I would think “Where could I lead you to?” and we’d both end up lost. But I don’t have such fears and unease now. That’s the biggest change, I think. For example, we’ve changed from lovers to family? In the past, it felt like boyfriend or girlfriend — always feeling unsure and uncertain somewhere. But now we’ve become family and attained something unshakeable. That kind of feeling?
5th June 2016, 12:54 PM
Hybrid Mode
