Better trans vers. of the NTV Special Interview. [Grammar corrected]

[walking proud]

Original translation can be found here

Please don't say I'm ripping off someone else.. This took a lot of hard work too. To translate from "Engrish" to proper English took about 2 hours :|






NTV Special Interview of Ayu ——<Ayumi Hamasaki... despair and decision of light and shadow for a 25 year old> translation(English version)

the opening

We were once attracted by those big eyes and so many things beyond those attractive eyes are being told to us. We have interviewed Ayu for five years, following her, but we never thought she would lead us to visit her hometown herself.

(camera is turned to Fukuoka dome)
reporter: Didn't you ever dream that you could hold your concert in your hometown?
Ayu: Never! When I was in Fukuoka, I never thought I would be a singer even after I came to Tokyo.

Maybe someone wonders why Ayumi Hamasaki is presented in front of us today? After this interview, we will understand everything.

(to be continued)

In 1999, we interviewed Ayu for the first time: when she was on the way to the top of pop. Her lyrics impressed many girls in High School and she was admired by those girls.

Reporter: What made you begin your singing life?
Ayu: Why? . . . maybe I just wanted to own a place that belonged to me.

Ayu at 21 years old answered this question like that. Then, when you walked on street, thousand of “Ayumi Hamasaki”s could be found. Ayu tried her best to shape every “Ayumi Hamasaki” image. All these efforts made us surprised and impressed.

"A perfect article of “Ayumi Hamasaki”". In this interview, we could see the efforts of ayu so clearly:
Ayu: I hope another Ayu could be in the seat of audience so the two Ayus could see each other on the stage.

In 2000, we were following Ayu all along and never thought this interview would be in the end. But until 2001, this interview has continued because in this time, Ayu was facing losing hearing in her left ear (I thought this was an expression but literally she was facing losing her hearing in her left ear).

Aye: I almost could hear nothing.
Reporter: How about now?
Ayu: I still can't talk on the phone with my left ear.

She tried to find her own place while she found scars bestrew in her body. In 2002, despite many scars, Ayu gained the reward of two year's record. From then on, we could feel we are far away to her. "No, it's us who made her far away to us," Ayu said to us afterwards. It is not easy to comprehend each other. Now, these eyes that were so full of energy seem to lose glory.

In 2003, we seemed to never interview Ayu. Until this year, all the mistakes and bias are gone just because this 3 hour interview.

Ayu: After this interview, I always thought it was completely meaningless so I called you at again to say “Can you interview me again?”. Last year, I gained the reward of three year's record but I am so calm. I said with a smile that my time has passed.

On Jan 2004, Ayu called me and said “I want to be interviewed again” In fact, one month before, we'd interviewed her. But she said “I hope that the content interview in that time isn’t used by you”. No one knows the truth but Ayu

When we met Ayu again, we felt she has make some decisions. All is explained that, for five years, we saw some and missed some. Now the long interview will be beginning, but before this we have to recall the interview 3 years ago.

(to be continued)

In March 2001, the image of “Ayumi Hamasaki” was found everywhere in a town called “Shibuya”. This image was the cover of her handpicked album which a tear flowed down on a black and white Ayu face. Now, thousands of crying Ayus appeared everywhere. The album organization sent the message to Ayu that her new Best album was to be issued. After 3 years, we just know why this message made Ayu shocked so much.


Ayu: Because this album was issued in a situation which didn't suit me. No, to me, my Best album shouldn’t be like this though I always expected and wished I could issue my handpicked album. The organization told to me suddenly “xx month xx day, your Best album must go to market” Go to market? What does this mean? My God, these words really beat me hard.

We also questioned Ayu about rerecording all the songs in her Best album. “Just a Best album, why does she rerecord all the songs?” At that time, we all didn’t understand. Now, when we think about this again, maybe this is just her little protest against her organization.

In the period that the new album was issued, “Ayumi Hamasaki” appeared in 40 magazine covers in the market. These was a decision of Ayu. Under the condition of such hard work and a full schedule, Ayu actually finished the shot of 40 magazine covers. It seemed Ayu was cheating herself. Even to her workgroup, Ayu appeared so strict that nothing ever happened to her.

Ayu: We have changed our clothes and we're ready to go. But we were demanded to wait for a minute. No one told me why. Waiting for what? What made us wait? Why don’t they explain all things?

Not only Ayu was waiting, all the workgroup members were waiting as well. This was a shadow that couldn’t bear any mistakes and never compromised. We all set eyes on this shadow silently.

Report: Why did you make this decision (to shoot for these covers of 40 magazines)?
Ayu: If this was just a common album, I wouldn’t do like this. But, you know, this is my Best album. Maybe this is my last album. Maybe I couldn’t get the chance again. I also want to give me an look.
Ayu: At that time, I give myself an look that I am just “Ayumi Hamasaki”, a single person, just a female, but I am also a part of organization, and I made it clear that I am an important product of an organization named Avex. I always told these things to myself.
Reporter: What, did you just force yourself?
Ayu: Yeah, so I think I will be over.
Reporter: “Over”? Do you mean you will retire?
Ayu: Retire? I didn’t think too much and didn’t make a detailed decision. I just wanted to leave.

In the day the Best album was issued, a female singer's album of another organization is issued (Utada Hikaru). All press paid so much attention to this “war” abnormally. As a result, Ayu’s Best album sold amounts exceeding 4 million. A reluctant decision actually affected the stock price of an organization.

Now, Ayu had made an strong decision. . .
Ayu: If I couldn’t back off, If I couldn’t turn back, I would go on my way intently. I don’t how to explain it to you…… although I am a part of this organization, I resisted it.

After half an year, a PV explained all things directly. "Dearest".
Finally, she found her own place, but she also found she had to continue to fight all along, so how deeply is despair, actually?
This entire thing lets us recall her old song "A Song for XX"
“Why am I crying?
Why am I lost?
Why did I stop?
Please tell me
when will I grow up?
How long can I stay a child?
Where have I come running from?
Where am I running to?
I had no place to live. I couldn't find one.
I don't know if I could have any hope for the future.”

(To be continued)

In this year, she held her concert in four domes, motivating more 3 million people. At that time, only Ayu could make only 4 domes full of people at a private status. But, the real battle was just beginning.

Although Ayu with smiling presented in rehearsal hall, the despair that hid in her heart all along has gradually appears in front of us. It was so mysterious that we always heard "A Song for XX" mentioned in many interviews.

It is not conscious that some intermittent singing was heard and abnomal phenomena appeared.
Ayu: Some odd sound beyond music was heard.
Staff: Was it some noise?
Ayu: I don’t know, but it made me forget which paragraph I was singing.

Now, Ayu heard some odd sound on her left ear. This makes us recall the situation where she almost heard nothing on her left ear (about a year ago).
Ayu: When referring the situation before, the noise amplifies.
Staff: Could you use one earplug all alone?
Ayu: Once the noise began, nothing could stop it.

With that amount of work and time spent on rehersing, it was impossible to change it. Although earplug was used, the drumming in her ears could never be stopped. The rehearsal was going as planned. The rehearsal of last day began in a big dome.

After diagnoses, the doctor told Ayu that no one could heal her ear if she continued to work under that high db situation. But there was only three days left for her concert when she received the doctor's advice.

She couldn't feel the music scale. Not only sweat was wiped. In the stage with faint glim, Ayu lowered her head and sat down in midstep.
The work staff detected the abnomal happening in Ayu and felt some nervousness. Although her problem was understood, this situation was just like a running wild horse and no one could stop it. After making an apology gesture, Ayu disappeared in the corner of stage. It was the first time that Ayu, who was never willing to show her weakness, showed it.

(to be continued)

2001.6.22

In Ayu's birthplace, Fukuoka, her 4 dome-tour began formally. So many eager fans out of the dome, but no one knew Ayu was tortured by her ear problem. Because of Ayu's ear, the rehersal time was cut down. Just for 30 thousand coming fans, Ayu tried her best to last moment. Although we had understood her as a pop article, this dooms to be painstaking. When we saw Ayu in this moment, we tasted deeply the reality which is so cruel.

Two hours before the beginning of concert, a big ball presented itself on stage. Ayu uncarefully fell in a two meter hole with a staff member who wanted to save Ayu. Maybe the ear problem made Ayu losing his balance.
Now, we couldn’t help to gasp. Is this just a test by God? Don’t make any fun of Ayu again, please! But, our camera couldn’t be stopped, the show must go on. But would YOU want to continue? This is enough. So many angry sights gazed on us and demanded us to stop the recording.

Although so many people distrust the organization and the boring ear problem, the credit to fans couldn’t be lost. With this thought, the slim of body was sent to hospital.

From the nervousness of staff, we guess the concert may be cancelled. But we also thought Ayu may have a rest for this reason. In a dome of no leading actor, it was boring. Now, some critical decsion had to be made.

Staff: We told Ayu the today's concert may be cancelled, maybe along with the tomorrow one.

If the concert was delayed, high compensation had to be paid for. In the stage with glaring light, all things proved the heavy pressure Ayu had to bear. But as an important product of the organization, the situation was beyond holding Ayu. All fans outside of dome knew nothing to the truth, they was just waiting for Ayu's concert. 30 minutes before the opening of concert, the car came back and Ayu in a wheelchair looked to our camera and said some words that made surprised us. “The concert is on its way”.

Even while injured, Ayu wouldn’t betray her fans and staff. Just like that, Ayu in a wheelchair came back on stage again. The doctor advised Ayu she must rest and there were at least three weeks to rest for her hurt foot.
“Could you run?”
“Of course,” Ayu answers without any thought.
Except for the opening time being delayed, all things are in their places as planned. Now, the concert that had to last two hours was beginning formally. In fans’s cheering, the dazzling of light glared again on the Ayu full of scars.
Almost 30 thousand fans never felt any abnomality in Ayu.
After finishing her dome tour successfully, Ayu almost lost her left ear.

"Dearest", "July 1st", "Voyage"

Now, Ayu has reached the top of pop world. All albums issued were on the top of list. We continued to following Ayu and wanted to understand everything.

(to be continued)

Ayu: At that time, I was at a loss and I don’t know how to express my feeling. So I told that to producer. He asked: Do you feel four walls are around you? I answered at once: Yes. It seemed there is such a broad space around me and I could get hope easily and all things seemed beautiful and shining. But that isn't the truth.
Reporter: What color walls?
Ayu: Just white.

She felt the despair again though reaching the top. At that time, we called Ayu again and hoped to interview at her home because we want to see the real Ayu. But, our last request was rejected, why?

Ayu: I don’t believe your reason of interviewing me in my home. Do you just want to learn a real me? No,I don’t think so. I feel I am just forced to compromise this interview.

We can’t deny what she said.

Are there another Ayus hiding beyond of the one in front of us?
After graduating Middle School, Ayu often go to Shibuya. When we began our following interview, we also went to Ayu’s hometown, but we just got this information:
She lived with her mother and grandmother after her parents divorced.
Now, Ayu has forgotten her father's face.
Before this program, we are told not to use her photo in the period of living in Fukuoka.

Now, Ayu is 25 year old.
Ayu: I couldn’t forgive myself in the past, including all things in the past. I felt I has been knocked down by the past and I don’t want my past to be reviewed by anyone.

“Will you follow me to come back to Fukuoka?”
This is Ayu’s question.
In the interview, Ayu said:
“The truth, actually, not just one, the truths of everyone felt are different. After understanding this, I felt so easy and free. So it isn’t necessary to hide my past."

For five years following interview, we finally reach to the end of way
Ayu: Yeah. I often come here; the old and broken boats are also there. I can’t remember which one I go to fishing with, I dived from here and was blamed. These things happened in my childhood. It is so obscure but I think he should be my father.
Reporter: Is he really your father?
Ayu: I think so, so many fish tools in my home; they all are kept all along.

She really doesn’t hide herself.

(Some children called to Ayu, but they called her “Ayumi”, not “Ayu”)
Ayu: My God…… I am actually called “Ayumi”.
Child: Where'd you go?
Ayu: School.
We never saw such a calm expression in Ayu’s face. Of course, she is also a common 25 years old girl.

(in car)
Ayu: Just a bit farther.
Reporter: Do you need to get off for a look?

Ayu: Um.. when I was about 17 or 18 years old, my grandmother went to this hospital because she was sick. At any time, Ayu’s grandmother always supports Ayu and protects her all along.
Ayu: At that time, I am in a loss and often in a daze to sit in this park.
Ayu: At the day, it happened that my debut album would be recorded. My first record. Before I left, I told my grandmother that I had to leave for my debut album record and after finished it, I would come back at once. She was still waiting for me. At that time, my grandmother had been in a dizzy sleep and can’t eat any food, but just that moment, she actually cried.

Just in the morning of Ayu’s debut album recording, her grandmother left her forever.
Before Ayu came in the record room, she received this unlucky news.
After that, Ayu begin her article tour.

"poker face"

She held so many concerts in Fukuoka, but she always avoided to come back this park.
Now, with the power of camera, she came back here and faced a past Ayu...




[the end]

[Eigakan]

really interesting

[AyuGAME]

is this different from the old one
i really want to know the missing word in that interview that hasn't been translated

[The_Swede]

Thank you!! I have seen the entire interview in Japanese, and this will help me understand the parts I didn't^_^

[alternarist]

thanks!! hope it includes everything..

[Raleigh]

Thank you. It must have taken you a lot of effort and time and I appreciate your hard work.

[Syphex]

That part about her having to be rushed to the hospital mere hours before Dome Tour 2001--absolutely amazing stuff. I only knew that her ear problem became worse from Dome Tour before reading that...damn...

She tried to find her own place while she found scars bestrew in her body. In 2002, despite many scars, Ayu gained the reward of two year's record.

What scars are they talking about?

[Axel_Grease]

Originally Posted by Syphex

What scars are they talking about?

Most likely emotional scars.

Cool! Thanks, walking proud! ;D

[AyuGAME]

scars is about her ears i think and emotional

[Hachimitsu]

Thank you so much! I haven't read it yet, but I think it's really great of you to translate the rest of the interview.