[Translation] Latest TA post [19th May 2017] - Health and ear condition

[SunshineSlayer]

Originally Posted by ストロボ・EdGE

A little horrified at many of the comments here which can be summed up as "She had it coming".

I think it's more along the lines of, it's no surprise because it was an entirely predictable outcome.

[ayu_ready?]

God damn, the news really broke my heart.
the health is some controversial topic, I say.
I mean, it is a personal thing what to do with your health.

but I don't approve of putting music above self-love and health, no, I don't really understand it.
I am actually really concerned about my health and I try to be careful with it. I think that might be my choice and how I feel is right.
but I think to my mind her message was maybe not mostly about that, but maybe because she's lonely and music is the only thing and purpose she has in her life and she simply has nothing else to do, I don't know

she might be the person who pushes themselves harder when they're depressed/feel bad. to the point of overworking/passing out. I've met such people and it has nothing to do with age or nationality

[DonkeyKongRemix]

Originally Posted by orbitalaspect

I know most of our speculation is just assumption. However, with hearing loss, it's extremely rare for it to slow or stop, and damn near unheard of (no pun intended) for hearing to improve over time. It's entirely possible Ayu could recover her hearing through an implant, but she would still not be able to sing.

The more I think about this, the more I worry that Ayu would, at some point in the far future, end up ending her own life over her hearing loss. She hasn't had an easy life. She's had an even harder career. The only comparable person of Ayu's level of fame is Namie, but even her troubles are way, way behind her. I mean, Ayu has struggled so much with family, her struggle with being seen as a brand and not as a person, and with loss and grief. She's never had the personal space to come to terms with close friends who've passed, her dogs passing, her grandmother passing at the start of her career... She's just buried all of it and been there for us, month after month, year after year.

This puts so much into perspective. I remember crying when MADE IN JAPAN was released because I realized it wasn't the music, it was Ayu. And now we know it isn't from any lack of effort by Ayu. It's because she's been chipping away at her physical and mental health so all of us could keep the experience alive, waaaay past its natural shelf life, for 20 years. There's no reason Ayu should be the biggest selling solo artist in Japanese history, except that all of us shared her music and her meaning with other people, over and over, and that she kept on singing when there were still some of us who weren't ready for Hamasaki Ayumi to close.

It's been 7 years since my best friend last saw an Ayu release. And his first album was (miss)understood. My first Ayu album was Secret. And I still want to know what her next ballad/rock/dance song sounds like. I still want to know what the next tour logo looks like. And I still talk about her like she's got a new single coming out any month now.

I've fallen in love with a lot of other Japanese, Korean, and Mandopop artists for various reasons. But the end of Hamasaki Ayumi is the end of the very first chapter I ever opened in my experience of foreign music. And I can't help but look at the woman behind the music I've known for 11 years and wonder if she even knows who she is or remembers much of who she was before 1998. So, I'm worried. I'm really worried. Because Hamasaki Ayumi deciding to tour or stop touring, to make music or stop making music, isn't the decision for which I need assurance. I feel like I need to know if I will be playing Last angel in 10 years, mourning over a life that ended with a career, or if Hamasaki Ayumi can walk away from this with a sense of purpose driving her forward.

Shit, even if she came out on TA and said that she'll spend the rest of her life standing at busy intersections in Tokyo with signs reminding people to do an annual hearing test, I'd feel like we're not looking at a much bigger tragedy in the making. But this is Ayumi. And we all know what Ayu would do, but we don't know Hamasaki Ayumi well enough to know what she'll do.

I feel this. You've pretty much put my thoughts into words.

[Party_King]

Off topic: it's interesting to see all those old initates come back to post here...
...even if the reason itself is very sad!

[voltron]

^ True! I had a friend of mine who hasn't listened to Ayu in years say the articles she's seen have gotten her choked up.

Hopefully some people will want to participate in the Who... video project, since it still needs a lot more volunteers to take pictures.

[Deibel]

I randomly watched a documentary about a singer from my country. And then I heard something very relatable to ayu's situation. Couldn't help but thinking about her. Those could be her words as well. (I'm sorry in advance for the possible mistakes).

"The stage is the biggest drug in the world, I think. I hate it, but I love it. I can't live without it. Singing 2,5h nonstop is hard, very hard, and sacrificed. And no matter how much you love what you do, you're not always in the mood to stand there, smile and offer the show everyone deserve. On stage, feelings and energies are contagious. They can't stop flowing during the show. The stage is something that catches you, hookes you, and then you can't live without it. You're nothing, no one, without it. To me, this addiction produced me real health issues. I can't say "no" to him.

My last tour (120 concerts) was very big. My health was damaged. Not taking care of myself, no sleeping, long car trips, you eat whatever you can, the way you want... After one concert I didn't felt well. My belly hurted like crazy [...] I said to my manager "call an ambulance". The next thing I remember is that I was in a hospital, don't know for how many days. But doctors couldn't find out what was happening to me. More concerts got cancelled. Turns out my vesicle was very damaged. The doctor explained me the whole operation. I was so tired and sleepy that I asked him to do it the next day instead. "If we do that, we would operate a corpse".

She's ok after all that, still performing. But I wouldn't want to see ayu in that situation. To some extent, I guess this passion they talk about is something only artists/performers can understand.

[Andrenekoi]

^The first parte could pretty much be Microphone lyrics

[thinkingoutloud89]

Originally Posted by Deibel

I randomly watched a documentary about a singer from my country. And then I heard something very relatable to ayu's situation. Couldn't help but thinking about her. Those could be her words as well. (I'm sorry in advance for the possible mistakes).


She's ok after all that, still performing. But I wouldn't want to see ayu in that situation. To some extent, I guess this passion they talk about is something only artists/performers can understand.

see. I get what she is feeling but she has to stop for now.


other than that - who was it?

[Deibel]

^ she was Malú (a singer very similar to ayu, now I think about it. Strong woman, strong personality, strong peresence on stage, very dedicated to her job/passion, had her peak years ago and is still releasing music and performing (succesfully)).

You're right Andrenekoi, I was like WTF when I heard it for the first time. Felt like a good timing to share it.

[kendelle]

^ Wow, that Malú instrumental is almost something Au would release

[Chibi-Chan]

Originally Posted by Deibel

I randomly watched a documentary about a singer from my country. And then I heard something very relatable to ayu's situation. Couldn't help but thinking about her. Those could be her words as well. (I'm sorry in advance for the possible mistakes).


She's ok after all that, still performing. But I wouldn't want to see ayu in that situation. To some extent, I guess this passion they talk about is something only artists/performers can understand.

Well, this isn't passion, this is called an addiction. Addictions aren't something to admire and Ayu should realise that her addiction to the stage should be treated accordingly.

[Deibel]

^True. But we all know how stubborn this woman is..
If it happens, I really don't know how she'd face becoming totally deaf and unable to perform at all. I guess she would become a producer or something like that (Max Matsuura 2.0?), but the hole left by the stage would be almost impossible to fill with anything else.. I feel so sad and worried about her.

[Katsuyuki012]

Who knows... She might get depressions and further... which I really don't want!

[Andrenekoi]

So, now she is an addcited, suicidal, immature, attention crazy, desperate, insecure person who needs intervention.

[yabieru]

This thread is so...

[Katsuyuki012]

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

So, now she is an addcited, suicidal, immature, attention crazy, desperate, insecure person who needs intervention.

Well, I understand that she keeps doing what she loves to do. I just really wonder how such a passionate person like her will face this... I only wish and hope for the best...

[EndOfTheWorld]

Let's not freak out and be dramatic about hypothetical situations that have not even happened.
Judging from what Ayu has said, I think not even she is certain of her fate. She isn't certain what her future will be. But she decided for now that she will continue to perform and create music until then.
We both are along for the ride, just like always aren't we? We just have to wait and see what will happen. Maybe Ayu will elaborate further after the tour. Seeing all the media attention she is getting from this worrisome news, I am sure she will be asked to do an interview for TV or magazines. That is what I hope for. Then we can have a clearer idea of where she is at and what her plan is. If she has one.
I mentioned it once before but I don't think Ayu intended to create drama and division among fans by releasing her announcement. I think we are continuing to lose sight of what matters.

[orbitalaspect]

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

So, now she is an addcited, suicidal, immature, attention crazy, desperate, insecure person who needs intervention.

Maybe you should just... not... participate in this thread anymore? I'm more disturbed by you trying to prove and insist that we all think so low of Ayu than I am concerned about Ayu at this point. It's starting to speak to your character.

I mentioned it once before but I don't think Ayu intended to create drama and division among fans by releasing her announcement. I think we are continuing to lose sight of what matters.

I agree. But I think this is blowing up because the last time Ayu made any personal announcement like this, she was actually far worse than it appeared at the time. We had no clue she would lose hearing in her left ear in 2007, but when she announced it, it was like, "Yup. I'm deaf in my left ear." And we were all like... Um... Why wait until it's at its worst to bring it up? I don't think Ayu is doing this intentionally to upset anyone, but I think everyone's super concerned because she never brings this stuff up unless it's so far along that there's going to be some permanent damage or change.

[Andrenekoi]

Originally Posted by orbitalaspect

Maybe you should just... not... participate in this thread anymore? I'm more disturbed by you trying to prove and insist that we all think so low of Ayu than I am concerned about Ayu at this point. It's starting to speak to your character.

Conclusions are being made out of nowhere, even if they come from a place of concern. Nobody around here knows Ayu as a person, out of her public persona, and nobody knows her medical records, and even if it's from a place of concern, it's dangerous AND unfair to around sugesting some stuff that were sugested around here, about her mental health mainly.

And no, not everyone is showing they think low of Ayu on the thread (even if some do, not you in particular)

[truehappiness]

Originally Posted by orbitalaspect

Maybe you should just... not... participate in this thread anymore? I'm more disturbed by you trying to prove and insist that we all think so low of Ayu than I am concerned about Ayu at this point. It's starting to speak to your character.

Some of the reactions though are pretty out there to say the least.